shangrala Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 ok, so i asked the shy guy if he had a crush on me since two people had apparently heard that from him and told me. he skirted the issue for awhile and then--finally--when i asked him point blank, said that my sources were unreliable. i'm not one to be egotistical, but i am just not buying this. once they told me he had a crush on me, i started thinking back to our hang-out sessions, and i did recall one night where he repeatedly said i was beautiful. so what's going on here, shy people, or folks who undertsand them?? have i just scared him off by being so direct, or what? i'm way too extroverted to understand how this stuff works. Link to comment
orangecounty Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Why do guys do that? I've been in the same situation. I think some men are egotistical and flirt or lead girls on to boost their own ego. I'm not sure in your case. As strange as it sounds, he may be so shy that he's even scared to tell you the truth. Are you interested in him? and if so did you tell him so? I'm a shy girl myself and I remember once I was working with this guy whom I rather liked. We were talking about drawing and I said "I want to go to the zoo to draw." He gave me a funny look and left, he came back a few minutes later and I realized he thought I said "wanna go to the zoo and draw?" He asked me if that was what I said and I replied, no,no, I just said I wanted to go out and draw. I felt so stupid, I really would have liked to go to the zoo to draw with him but I was so scared of being rejected that I completely denied it even though I had a clear chance of going out with him. Shy people are funny creatures sometimes. Link to comment
shangrala Posted January 6, 2006 Author Share Posted January 6, 2006 no, he is definitely not the flirtatious type--very low-key. i am the flirt. i think you could be right--he could be too scared to even tell me! i'm not sure how i feel about him since we've always just been friends and i have not even thought about taking it any farther. i would be interested in finding out if it could work, tho. i should mention that this whole "discussion" i had with him was via e-mail, so it was impossible to read any body language. after his last reply, i just left it at that. should i say anything else or just drop it altogether and forget all about it? i guess that pretty much screws up the friendhsip, too. Link to comment
orangecounty Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Well, now that that's out there. If you are interested in trying things out, I would make it clear that you are interested in him. I think you both need to make it clear where you stand. If he's scared you might reject him, it could be the reason he denied liking you. So I think you should state your intentions and then leave the ball in his court. If he really is interested in you, he'll want to act on it, if not, I'm sure you'll get the point. Just let things play out. Good luck! Jules Link to comment
DN Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 When you asked him 'point blank' - did you let him know you were interested in him? If not- big mistake, because it could look like you were getting ready to shoot him down. If he thought that, he was backing off so he wouldn't feel stupid if you did. Link to comment
Markers Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 When you asked him 'point blank' - did you let him know you were interested in him? If not- big mistake, because it could look like you were getting ready to shoot him down. If he thought that, he was backing off so he wouldn't feel stupid if you did. amen to that. Link to comment
shangrala Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 No, I did not let him know I was interested in him, because I wasn't sure at that point (or even now) if I am. I would need to explore it and see if we had chemistry in that way. I just told him that I had heard it and thought I should follow up to find out if it was true. He has acted kind of rattled since then (at least as rattled as you can seem over e-mail). A little defensive, too, questioning who my sources were. It seems like if he really weren't interested, he would have done the typical guy routine of, "I'm sorry that you got that impression. I really like you, but just as a friend..." This would have been a very easy out on e-mail, right? Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 There is no such thing as a typical guy routine Link to comment
orangecounty Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 DN, you put into words what I was trying to say but didn't articulate myself properly Link to comment
shangrala Posted January 10, 2006 Author Share Posted January 10, 2006 that's not helping. i need you to speak "guy" for me! Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 You are asking the impossible because there is no such thing - just as there is no such thing as 'girl-speak'. Here's a thought. Ask him out. Oh, yes you can. Link to comment
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