Hope75 Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Tell us about what you are dealing with. Maybe it will make you feel better to get it all out. Why not make a list? Link to comment
evy38 Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Hi Sad, First, don't worry about the lip, just now. Could be stress or cold weather, a scratch or a blemish. Worry about it later, if it develops into something. I am so glad you haven't missed him as much. You know, there is nothing that will break a romantic feeling more, then a good dose of disgust. Think about this for a minute, then savor it.......YOU SOLD FOUR PIECES IN ONE OF THE HARDEST MARKET PLACES, FOR ART, ON THE PLANET!!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Oh, you are jusssssssst to good for this jacka**. I'm sorry about the job, on the other hand, you'll be able to find a new one, with new people. This will be one more part of the new life you are starting to walk toward. You'll have to kick him out. Until you get a new job, you can't afford him, anyway. I agree with Hope, tell us everything you are going thru. It will make you feel better. Also make me that list of all the dope's (Man/Boy) bad points. It will help you start to see him a little less romantically and more clearly. Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 its kinds of sadly funny.........i am very concerned about my lip..........i am also very itchy everywhere I mean EVERWHERE..........I have been known for my paranoia but, good I am sexually disgusted my job ends in a month.......it has nothing to do with me.......the job is moving back to London.............i knew something was up........ Link to comment
Huntsman Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 and is about to have on me again after claiming he wants to sleep with other women and I should accept it...... = wow! he has a really strong frame over you. My situation is complex and complicated and I feel like an idiot for staying but, I also 'love him'...... = situation is simple. you hold his value way above yours. but, as time goes on I am destroying every part of myself......... = your self-esteem is lowering as a result. I am faced with a discision to put up with this or walk away.......... = he is a strong man, and that's why you're attracted to him. But, it hurts still the same..... = because on one hand you have dignity, on the other sexual attraction. Link to comment
evy38 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 and is about to have on me again after claiming he wants to sleep with other women and I should accept it...... = wow! he has a really strong frame over you. My situation is complex and complicated and I feel like an idiot for staying but, I also 'love him'...... = situation is simple. you hold his value way above yours. but, as time goes on I am destroying every part of myself......... = your self-esteem is lowering as a result. I am faced with a discision to put up with this or walk away.......... = he is a strong man, and that's why you're attracted to him. But, it hurts still the same..... = because on one hand you have dignity, on the other sexual attraction. I'll take dignity any time. Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 You are right. Dignity is better..........sexually I can feel worse afterwards anyway and that is one moment in time while dignity lasts all the time and keep syour fundamental structure about yourself and everything that evoles around it......... I am suppose to go to his family house this weekend.................there are some benefits.I could get alot of work done on the computers there and I really need that.....................I think it maybe good...........I am still disgusted........and at some point will buy condoms.................and I do not think I could blow him either!!!!!!!!!!! heh heh there has to be some humor here........... I am getting though each day.......I finished three pieces of art work last night and delivered them to the gallery........... I am doing stuff.........I am also not calling him every minute or the other women................I am also not feeling so horribly sad and low.............. who knows what all this means.like I said minute by minute day by day............sure we are seeing each other at 3am in the morning and then getting up for our days.....so we are not really spending time together...just kind of passing each other by............tonight I do not think I will see him and of course that is when all these calls happens....................who cares hopefully if I can get off work I will be at an art opening......... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I'm not sure how you can let him touch you after knowing that he's cheated and that he wants to have sex with others. Clearly you are not willing to be shared..... but you are doing that. Do you honestly think it's a good idea to go with him this weekend? He's STILL not willing to commit to you or stop trolling for other women and cheating. Every day you stay with him, you deny yourself respect, and you deny yourself a chance to be loved by someone who wants to be faithful to you and treat you with the love and kindness you so deserve. Link to comment
Huntsman Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 .....there are some benefits.I could get alot of work done on the computers there and I really need that.....................I think it maybe good........... = you still hold his value high. I am still disgusted........and at some point will buy condoms.................and I do not think I could blow him either!!!!!!!!!!! = you think about him sexually all the time. you are very attracted to him. ........I am also not calling him every minute or the other women................I am also not feeling so horribly sad and low.............. = but you are thinking about him all the time. who knows what all this means. = you haven't chosen your dignity. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 .....there are some benefits.I could get alot of work done on the computers there and I really need that.....................I think it maybe good........... = you still hold his value high. I am still disgusted........and at some point will buy condoms.................and I do not think I could blow him either!!!!!!!!!!! = you think about him sexually all the time. you are very attracted to him. ........I am also not calling him every minute or the other women................I am also not feeling so horribly sad and low.............. = but you are thinking about him all the time. who knows what all this means. = you haven't chosen your dignity. Huntsman, How much do you think your crude finger pointing and gross assumptions are helping this poster? Perhaps you would be best to be more considerate and helpful and less judgemental. Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 well he is stating the brutal honesty of how part of me feels..............and I can take that today...........otherwise ..............I don't know......... Link to comment
Mun Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 You're coming along girl. Don't let yourself down. You know you want better for yourself...right? Congrats on the sale of your paintings ! Wow a lady with talent. ____________ When you learn to love yourself again all the answers you need will be clear to you. The confusion and misery will be gone. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hey Sad Moop, How was your weekend? How are you feeling? Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 I am back......feeling stronger.....it was o.k.some parts were nice.....of course there was a * * * *ing horrible few hours of him screaming at me that I am worthless * * * *........I have not had sex with him...........on our way back he hid his phone from me and i asked him why he was acting so weird.......he told me that I was acting weird....I called him a liar and left it at that...........I am feeling o.k......I am planning for the future.........I called her and hung up 5 times today..........I am going to therapy tomorrow.....i still have this job.....I am interviewing Thursday for new positions as I am unhappy where I am and I have to take a step forward. I dreaded coming back to New York......but, I am planning......planning to possibly move by May........unless I get a job I cannot refuse.....but, hey I can take another job while I am making plans........ It is weird being back.....I am back at work .my long long nights......and of course he is running around...... I hated him so much for what he said to me this weekend about so much...... I am just getting though this case...........this job......then I think I am off.......I think it is the only way.......I have started to think about subletting my apartment.......packing up.....making a year plan......and moving to another country.......... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hi Sadmoop, I hated him so much for what he said to me this weekend about so much...... What do you mean by this? What was said? I called her and hung up 5 times today.. What does calling her do for you? What do you hope to make happen by doing this? Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Well, I can start with saying that I think not a day has gone by for four years when he has not shouted and called me a * * * * * a * * * *. He screams at me that I stupid and that I am not a real woman. he tells me my attack was all my fault....when he is really mean and I fight back he then reduces me to tears by telling me to go and get raped......it goes on and on and on.... I do not know what I am achieving......a satisfaction that she has turned off here phone..........I dunno...it is my obssional side.........I can't do anything else for now........ I know its all the wrong way.......... Link to comment
evy38 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Well, I can start with saying that I think not a day has gone by for four years when he has not shouted and called me a * * * * * a * * * *. He screams at me that I stupid and that I am not a real woman. he tells me my attack was all my fault....when he is really mean and I fight back he then reduces me to tears by telling me to go and get raped......it goes on and on and on.... I do not know what I am achieving......a satisfaction that she has turned off here phone..........I dunno...it is my obssional side.........I can't do anything else for now........ I know its all the wrong way.......... This man is so toxic he is poison to you. You need to stop ingesting this poison. Any man who tells you to get raped doesn't love you. Any man who tells you that you aren't a real woman, doesn't love you. Time to stop listening to, and believing, his lies. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Hi Sadmoop, I just read your post and it makes me want to cry for you the way that you let him treat you. Honey, evy is right. A guy like that doesn't love you, and if you stay with him, you aren't loving yourself either. Let me tell you a little secret: if you treat yourself with love and respect, and if you know that you deserve that and you act like and and treat yourself like it, others will respect you and treat you will kindness and love too. It's just terrible the way you've let this awful man break you down. I'm so sad for you right now. Link to comment
Mun Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I cannot help but wonder, why don't you love yourself? What has happened to you sadmoop that you are in this situation??, allowing this man to control your life and destroy your spirit in the process? ....I know he is your man honey, but he doesn't deserve you. I don't think he deserves anyone really.... One question. What do you want? if you could have the relationship of your dreams what would it look like? think about it. Would it even resemble what you have now? I hope you are going to therapy. It really does help. Let us know how you are doing girl. Hugs Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 22, 2006 Author Share Posted January 22, 2006 Hmmmmm my dream man......now that is a great exercise for me......a friend once told me that she did that and stuck to her list after she went out with * * * * * * * * for such a long time...........anyway just so you all know.....something happened the other night........ Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Are you going to tell us what happened the other night? Link to comment
venus777 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 what was your childhood like??? did you have love in your childhood? Link to comment
Sadmoop Posted January 23, 2006 Author Share Posted January 23, 2006 I am actually uncomfortable with how much details I have given. I like it here but, I am so nervous of someone reading this...........I slept with another man.,......of course I was drunk......but, I have liked him for a while...............it is a close friend of the man I am having problems with...... Link to comment
jeffisok Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Boot the loser. Case closed. Link to comment
venus777 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 thats a terrible poem by the way, there are lots more reasons to live than just that it might fail if we try and commit suicide. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 I am actually uncomfortable with how much details I have given. I like it here but, I am so nervous of someone reading this...........I slept with another man.,......of course I was drunk......but, I have liked him for a while...............it is a close friend of the man I am having problems with...... So what happens next for you? Link to comment
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