someone please help me.. abused

[TAFFY]

mysteriousgirl, I agree totally with angelgirl. You have asked for advice, but can't get past the "I want my boyfriend back" idea that is stuck in your head.

 

I'm afraid I'm going to have to be blunt here as well, since you obviously are having trouble digesting the help that is being offered to you in response to your asking for help.

 

THE WAY HE IS TREATING YOU IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM YOUR FAULT.

 

YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING TO HIM, YOU DIDN'T "PUSH ANY BUTTONS", YOU DIDN'T PUSH HIM, YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM ANY REASON TO THINK YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO HIM.

 

YOU THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HIDDEN SOMEWHERE INSIDE THIS MAN? I'M GOING TO PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE HERE AND SAY WHAT IF HE IS INSIDE SOMEWHERE? DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT THIS MAN THAT YOU'VE PUT ON A PEDASTILE (SP) WOULD CHOOSE TO HIDE IN AN ABUSER'S BODY?

 

HE'S PULLED YOUR HAIR, HE'S DRAGGED YOU BY YOUR HAIR, HE'S PUSHED YOU, ETC. THIS BEHAVIOR IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AT ALL. SO FAR YOU'VE BEEN VERY LUCKY.

 

You need to wake up to this realization: THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NOT IMPROVE, IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE, AND YOU COULD END UP LOSING YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Please, open your eyes while you still can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mun]

You don't see the reality of what is going on because you are too close to it. I remember being in your place. My ex husband was abusive, and I felt sorry for him. For him!! The first time he ever hit me he punched me in the mouth then blamed me for it, said I was flirting with this guy at a party. The next time he hit me I was pregnant and we were arguing about something. I thought it was my fault, or that it was a phase and the good guy I knew was under there somewhere. My self-esteem was in the dumps and I didn't want to break up my family. It wasn't until my son was born with a serious birth defect and I saw that he didn't care that I resolved to leave him. I want you to tell me something now. Do you think I brought it on myself? Do you think it was my fault in some way and I deserved for him to hit me ?

 

We are looking out for you and for your safety, that's why we encourage you to leave him. The help he needs you can't give to him. He needs professional help. You need help too and I hope you get it. Talk to your family about what is going on, get some support for yourself. Don't go back to him, he doesn't deserve you. It will only get worst.

[newby]

Honey, get out and stay out. Pulling hair and pushing is domestic abuse no matter how you try to downgrade it.

 

Statistics Women will be on average attacked by their partner 35 times before they leave. Women will return to the abusive partner 7 times before they either finally escape the relationship or there is a tragic end. The level of violence generally escalates with each attack. Abuse can be emotional, physical or sexual. Most men who abuse their partners will also abuse their children. Abuse escalates 30% when the woman is pregnant. I live in Scotland and the statistic for our small population of 55 million is two women per week are killed by an abusive partner. I think that is probably the same proportion the world over. You are not safe. He does not love you. If he did he would not harm you. Look at the wise advice from the women in the previous threads, get out and stay out. You deserve better. Be strong.

[newby]

Sorry guys - typo. Our population is 5 + millsion, not 55 million.

[envyous1]

i don't mean to be mean...but you are an idiot...This guy has total control over you, and you've gotta stop it. Think of him leaving you as a sign that it's time for you to move on...You cannot let you own insecurities deminish you ability to make sensible decisions... Do you really want to have this monster (oops...sorry) man as the father of your children...I should hope not... No! You shouldn't him as a husband, companion, or even a neighbor...Please let go...!!! Before it's too late.

 

knew a girl who had been with an abuser from the time she was 14 to 19. He beat her, called her all types of * * * * * *, sluts...and was very demeaning. He cheated with her friends, his friends, his neighbors...and, once when he was drunk/high he even tried to pass her off on one of his cousins. He told her he would kill her, and said that if she ever cheated he would get his friends and "treat her like a real hoe" and yet she stayed. She claimed she was scared to break up with him beacuse he'd tell her mother she ws having sex with him(

i knew that was just the lie she told herself...truth be told...he was a punk, and she knew it...She had three grown brothers, and many uncles who had challenged him multiple times and he always backed down. It was as easy as her never calling or seeing him again. At no time did she live with him, nor did she have to see him on a daily basis.

only reason she stopped seeing him was because he chose some stripper(

friend, spent the next five weeks making excuses for the incident...

[TAFFY]

Mysteriousgirl, I realize that I haven't been here in quite awhile, but I am so happy to see at least you are still alive at this point. You've come here asking for help. So far it seems that you have been unwilling to accept the help that's been offered to you. I had to start back at the beginning of your thread to catch up.

 

I can only reiterate what I have said, and what all of the other posters have said to you.

 

GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SOME FACTS THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO ACCEPT AND DO IT NOW, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE:

 

YOU'VE KEPT SAYING, HE'S ONLY PUSHED ME, HE'S ONLY DRAGGED ME BY MY HAIR, ETC.

 

ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU'VE SAID HE'S DONE TO YOU ARE ABUSIVE ACTIONS AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THAT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. I CAN'T PUT IT ANY OTHER WAY. NO ONE DESERVES TO LIVE IN FEAR OF WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.

 

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT WITH MY ALL CAPS I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU OR SHOUTING AT YOU. I AM JUST TRYING TO GET YOU TO REALIZE THAT YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

 

AT THE COUNSELLING CENTER WHERE I GO, AND BEING IN THE MEDICAL FIELD MYSELF PREVIOUSLY THERE ARE SIGNS POSTED IN VERY VIEWABLE SPOTS. IT IS A PICTURE OF A CASKET WITH FLOWERS ON IT. THE WORDING IS SHORT, PLAIN AND TO THE POINT:

 

"HE BEAT HER 150 TIMES; SHE ONLY GOT FLOWERS ONCE".

 

I am really trying my best and so has everyone else that's replied to you, to shock you into the horribly and potentially tragic situation that you are in, to SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

No one is picking on you. Everyone here obviously cares so much for you that they have repeatedly told you what is going on. If we didn't, we would never have replied to your post in the first place.

 

Here's something else you need to think about. What do you think would happen if you became pregnant, and he became angry again and physically harmed you. Now, your situation has just became compounded by the fact that there will be another human being for him to abuse.

 

GIRLFRIEND, GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Moderators, if there's anything offensive in my post, please feel free to do what needs to be done, but I feel so strongly fearful for her life.

[Hope75]

We actually don't know if Mysteriousgirl is still alive. She hasn't posted since December.

[TAFFY]

Hope, I didn't realize that, and I truly hope that nothing has happened. The only way to comfort myself about this is to realize that all of us who responded to her, tried our best to give her the advice that she needed.

 

I pray that she still is.

[Hope75]

Taffy,

 

I do as well.