ways to go

[sugarandspice]

hey

 

keep feeling so low. i cant live with my eating disorder, i hate myslef i wana punish myself i feel i dont deserve anything. i dont belong anywhere!!!im so fed up!!!i think you die soon anyway so whats the point!!??? and the number of times i am making myself sick i am killing myself probably anyway.

 

whats wrong with me!!!! why do i feel suicidial!!!!!!! no one cares!!!! theres no one to scream to!!!!!!!! theres no point to being here i just wana leave.

[RayKay]

hey

 

keep feeling so low. i cant live with my eating disorder, i hate myslef i wana punish myself i feel i dont deserve anything. i dont belong anywhere!!!im so fed up!!!i think you die soon anyway so whats the point!!??? and the number of times i am making myself sick i am killing myself probably anyway.

 

whats wrong with me!!!! why do i feel suicidial!!!!!!! no one cares!!!! theres no one to scream to!!!!!!!! theres no point to being here i just wana leave.

 

Sure we all die sooner or later, but it's not when we die that is what counts, it's HOW we live.

 

Don't let your spirit die sweetie. My mum, just got diagnosed with advanced breast cancer, she is going through chemo that is doing a number on her body, she is getting her breasts removed, and then going through radiation. She is 48, and fighting for her life, as she is not ready to go yet.

 

I have had the strange "blessing" to know many people whom ended up with very little choice about when they will go, but even when they know the odds are great against them, they live best they can.

 

I also have known those whom took their own lives, and I think it's an absolute shame they did, because if they had hung in there, they would of discovered like I did, there is more to it, there is more to how you are feeling now, and there is hope.

 

Life is a gift. It's beautiful. It's amazing. but it is also what you MAKE of it. It's easy to look around and things others have had an easier life, or have it good, but you don't know what lurks in their past and present. What you are seeing is not what they have experienced, but how they have faced those experiences.

 

I am doing pretty good, am positive, and happy. Have a great boyfriend, a fantastic family. But if you asked me about my past, you would also find out I battled depression, and anorexia nervosa for several years. You would find that when I was only 22 my boyfriend of five years died suddenly. You would find I suffered low esteem, my own health problems, heartbreaks. But they are part of who I am. They have made me stronger...not in the suffering, but in the conquering, and believing there was more to life then that, and learning to have faith in myself, and to reach out for help. It took me learning to believe there WAS a point, even if I could not see it yet.

 

Reach out to a friend, to a counsellor at school, or a local clinic. Call a helpline. Ask, and you shall receive. Realize that you may need medication to help, that there may be something physiologically wrong, but don't ignore the emotional aspect too. Talk, write, scream, sing, cry, run, punch a punching bag, draw, paint, post here, call a friend....let it out, but don't ever, ever, ever give up on yourself.

[Outcast-Angel]

hey

 

keep feeling so low. i cant live with my eating disorder, i hate myslef i wana punish myself i feel i dont deserve anything. i dont belong anywhere!!!im so fed up!!!i think you die soon anyway so whats the point!!??? and the number of times i am making myself sick i am killing myself probably anyway.

 

whats wrong with me!!!! why do i feel suicidial!!!!!!! no one cares!!!! theres no one to scream to!!!!!!!! theres no point to being here i just wana leave.

 

sugar, take a breath. ED's suck, i know. but you can get rid of them. it just takes a lot of hard work, and effort.. and some support. you can live with it until you get better. honest. lots of us have, or are still living with our ED, and working on getting better while we go about our lives.. i understand that it's frusterating, but punishing yourself won't help.

what's wrong with you is probably to some degree, a matter of being dehydrated, and your electrolytes and potassium levels being low. it throws your brain chemistry way out of wack. so try this for a few days; eat small amounts several times a day. and don't drink water or anything in between bites, that just makes purging easier.. and honestly don't go anywhere near a bathroom for an hour or so after you've eaten.. have some water with you all the time, and take small sips of it throughout the day. see if you feel better after a day or two. if you do, that's awsome. if you don't, that's ok too. just keep trying. maybe go see a doctor.

sometimes i get super frusterated and upset too, and all i want to do is scream and scream until some one hears me. try going for a run the next time you feel like that, or maybe yell into your pillow. it should relieve some of your anger. but sweetie, don't give in and kill yourself. you'll never know what you could do, or whos life you could have touched if you do. you'll never know how happy you might be in a just a few months, or maybe a few years down the road.

talk to us. we're here to help.

~O.A.

[Day_Walker]

Its very simple why you feel suicidal and you pointed it out in your post. You feel that no one cares, now we dont know if this is just your perception or if this is actually the case. In order to not be suicidal I think the first person that has to care about you is yourself. It all starts from there.

[darkblue]

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

 

Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you deal with it

 

Your own signature gives you all you need.

 

We don't live forever, but who's to say that this isn't it?

Why not live for now, because you are inevitably going to be taken through a natural cause.

 

Your eating disorder can be overcome. It is a problem that you have, and it can be fought.

Seek help for it.

You cannot do it on your own - and you don't deserve to die.

 

Take care, and you know where to find me.

[Relationship Coach]

SAS,

I've seen you around here and I care if you live or die. I understand your pain and there are plenty of reasons for you to live, they just may be hard to see right now. We all have purposes in our lives and you have a purpose as well. You will change someone's life for the better and make a difference for them, don't cheat them out of something before they cross your path. I have some great resources if you need them PM me.