OMG! Why did he call after 5 months?????

[esboogie143]

It happenned this afternoon...my office phone rang and it came in as a private call (I have caller ID) I answered and they hung up on me. THen shortly after it rang again with my ex's office number OMG my heart dropped..My body felt as if it was on fire...To make a long story short he basically called to see how things were going....WHY????????????? Its been since July I last spoke with him and when he changed his cell # on me and all and NOW he wants to know how things are going!! Anyway...I answered with...things are going im okay...I asked him and he replied with things are good..really good...okay who cares!!!!!!!! He was trying to talk to me soo strong and boldly...gimme a break!!! And I know he has a girlfriend and I am over that...but to be honesst him calling set me back a bit..I was doing so well being oblivious to him...we hung up quick i wished him a Merry x-mas and all that and he said the same and we hung up. THEN he calls back within a second and says listen Im not leading you on I just wanted to c how u were doing ...I dont want u to start calling me or acting psycho...this mutha flower...what the heck is wrong with him if he's not trying to lead me on and just called to c how things are then why call for the 2nd time to say such thing!!! Im soooo much better w/o speaking to him cuz now the bastard is on my mind....i knooooow i am not going to dial his job AT ALL! I dont even have his cell number BUT my question is does anyone have a clue why he chose to call me now????I just dont understand it or him! He has a g/f he shouldnt be calling me for anything or even to c how things are going what does he care?He dissed me and changed his number but honestly I love him to this day throught it all any advice/thoughts?

[Mjane]

maybe he just wanted to see if you were still interested in him.. perhaps he needed an ego boost or maybe his new relationship is going south and he wants a back up girl

[esboogie143]

maybe but why the second call right after saying how he's not leading me on and all that...im now sooooo confused!

[Msnak]

Who knows what possessed him to call you after all this time. But you're not alone, from what I read on this board, most people who are contacted after so long are shaken, even if they're over the person.

 

It's like picking on a wound makes it bleed and never heal.

 

When he said what he did in the second call, that was just plain STRANGE!! I don't get that.

 

But maybe he realizes he left behind a great person. It's all about your tolerance level, can you tolerate him in your life again? As friends? Acquaintances? More?

 

Don't overthink it, but certainly consider what he might try to say or do. Ask him, even.

[mgirl]

maybe he just wanted to see if you were still interested in him.. perhaps he needed an ego boost or maybe his new relationship is going south and he wants a back up girl

 

This response makes sense. The second call indicates to me that he thinks he IS leading your on, or actually IS and he is trying to cover it up by calling you back. How strange!

 

Good on you for acting so cool. You should never let anyone get the better of you like that. You can now use this opportunity to look inward and set some boundaries for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable with him calling you again, you might want to find ways of brushing him off by saying, "you are too busy to talk right now", but that you wish him a nice day. Or something like that.

 

I understand the bit about the wounds being broken again, but i think he called more for his own sake than for yours and that was to reassure himself or to give himself an ego boost. Surely if things were going that "well" with the new girlfriend, there wouldn't be any need to ring you would there? I know if i was happy with somebody else, the former r/ship would not even get a look in!

 

Good luck and keep your wits about you.

[esboogie143]

Thank you all sooo very much!!!! These are ALL lessons that I will experience and learn.

[lady00]

He probably called just to mess with you...people do that sometimes for whatever weird personal reasons they have. Next time you see his # on your caller ID or a number you don't recognize which may be his, ignore it. Let it go to voicemail.

[kellbell]

Hey Girl!

 

Glad to see you are hanging in there. I agree with the others. He called to see what you were up to and to check his status with you. I know, people can be weird. Good for you for being strong, I know this guy really turned your world upsidedown. Hang in there.