why am i like this?

[elements2]

I was hoping someone could help me. I always have this same problem, effecting all parts of my life and i really really need help. I even think lately that i should seek professional help but i thought i would try talking to friends first. this problem im talking about that i have is that i NEVER EVER do what i know i should do. #1 i want to start working out again, physically i dont need to, im really skinny but i need to cause i want to be in shape again and feel better about myself. but i can never get my butt up to do it. #2 i fell in live with this guy that i met about a year ago. we still see eachother and i still sleep with him even though from the beginning he told me he doesnt want a girlfriend and from the beginning i know hes been sleeping with other girls. i love him and he is the person in my life that makes me the happiest so i stick around in hopes that hell change his mind, grow up and want a relationship with me...now i know i should move on i should give up cause he MUST NOT be the right one if he isnt commiting but i actually believe that he is scared to commit so he sleeps with others, but im special and i mean the most to him.....of course this is NOT what i want. its like im in denial. i know he is with other girls but i try to not think about it so it doesnt feel like its really true, i know hell never commit but i try to think one day he might and ill never know if i let go, so i hiold on. #3 Even school is an issue for me. i put off everything until the last minute, im always trying to find an easy, 1/2 * * * way to do something. i can never just DO what I KNOW i HAVE to do. #4 im late for everything, i can never be on time no matter what. i have tried for 4 years now and i am still always tardy. ill be late to my own funeral!! what should i do? there are things in my life I WANT TO DO!!!!!!!! I want to exercise regularly, i want to eat better, i want not sleep with a guy unless he is commited to me and only me, i want to be better and school and i do the opposite of what i say. I also have a problem with drinking and smoking pot. I always say never again and then i go right back to it. Its like im stuck in habits and i need to be hypnotised to get back to square one. what can i do? im everything that i dont want to be? has anyone been like this before? what the heck is wrong with me?](*,)

[goodquestion]

Hey, would it be you're not happy? You're self-esteem seems to be shot, especially falling back into things you don't want to be in, be a part of.

 

I won't say I know how you feel, but a long time I was depressed big time, thought I was a total loser, and had no confidence. It all came to a head one day, and I made a conscience decision to change everything ... because I knew I had to. People would say to me, what are you doing? But these same people will admit now, that I am a different individual than before, though still have all the good core qualities I used to have.

 

Maybe seeing a counsellor would be cool ... but one thing is for sure, you gotta build up your self-esteem ... like _doing_ the things you know you have to, but haven't yet. It's a conscience decision. Hope this helps.

 

later,peace

[Alabama]

A good way to get out of depression is not to think about it. A counselor would be a good idea to. It is important when your depressed to get active. You are trying and that's a good effort. I am sure there are other people who feel the same way you do, so maybe group therapy if your interested. But just finding something to keep you active, as you already mentioned exercise is a good way to get out of depression. But you can do it, as long as you believe! Good luck.

[registered]

Hey elements2.

 

I too find myself doing nothing to help myself even though I know what I need to do. I have the same bad habits.

 

Unfortunately I'm still trying to work out how to overcome this stuff.

 

It is an issue of self esteem. I feel like I love myself but there is a lot I still don't love and appreciate.

It's also an issue of confidence and self-efficacy.

 

You also need to get active - if I didn't stay active I wouldn't be around lol, I wouldn't have been able to cope.

 

Like goodquestion said, it's all a decision you have to make.

I can't bring myself to make the decision to do what I need to to improve my life. I think that there is something that first stands in the way - it is self-esteem and self-respect.

 

So you need to try and look at the aspects of your life that make you feel disrespected. Whether it's from the actions of other people or from your own actions.

Make sure you show yourself some respect.

 

Usually when you're in a position like this nothing anyone can say will just snap you out of it. It all seems hopeless like there is nothing to look forward to and nothing you can do about it.

But there is hope.

It has to come from within though.

 

You need to do this for yourself - you deserve to be happy.

 

If you need to talk feel free to pm me anytime.

 

Take care, good luck, and believe in yourself. I know you can improve things.

[talo]

As seen here, it is not a matter of what you should or should not do, it is a matter of respecting yourself.

 

Respecting yourself does not mean liking nor disliking yourself; it means accepting yourself as you are. You may see 'things' you dislike, but this has nothing to do with respect. You may wish to change 'things', but again this has nothing to do with respect.

 

Respect respects all aspects of yourself. After all, you are all here aren't you... You are not some hypothetical character are you... Your being unacceptable in some way is not accepting/respecting yourself.

 

It is most important to 'stand up for' an aspect of yourself that you do not like. I mean, if we do not stand up for that aspect, then we are not standing up for or respecting ourself.

 

It is only by respecting all aspects of ourself that 'things' change. Things do not really change by force, ie by shoulds and shouldn'ts.

 

Shoulding and shouldn'ting is trying to mould ourself into some ideal, and we never reach the ideal. By its very nature the ideal is always out of reach.

 

This is not intended as advice to stop trying to attain an ideal... it is instead, seeing that trying to attain an ideal is in effect seeing that one is not ideal now. And being not ideal now is actually being ideal as one is now in one's imperfection.... And in respecting this imperfection, perfection is found.