She said we'd still be friends...but now she's mad

[shammy]

Hi, first poster here. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just recently broke up. It was because of one stupid argument but I guess you can say the separation was a long time coming.

 

When we were together it was perfect and we were both full of love. We even had talked about marriage. Then because of course selection we ended up in different universities and it was hard being apart.

 

We both found it hard to deal with the lonleliness, which lead to a few arguments. Just recently, because of one of those arguments, we broke up. She claimed that we would keep and touch and be best friends and that this may only be temporary, but just 4 days later I called her and she got mad at me for calling. She told me I should move on and that she's considered it and that there's no chance of us being together anymore, and that she doesn't want to stay in touch as much.

 

I still love her more then anything and would do anything to be with her again despite the distance. What should i do???

[LiquidCherry]

What should i do???

 

Respect her wishes, as painful as it is.

[MaxPayne19]

Well I recommend that you just give her a little more time to think things threw and adapt to living far away from you. If she doesn't contact you within a week call her or e-mail her to tell her how you feel. If she is really in love with you she should be doing everything in her power to make the relationship work out. Going to different college is always a tough spot for any couple, but as long as both people truly love each other, there is a way to make it work. I've been through a similiar situation before, but it brought about an unexpected outcome...

[lady00]

Let her go. if she wants to contact you, she will. but contacting her will only make her more upset.

[PocoDiablo]

Respect her wishes, as painful as it is.

Agreed.

 

Calling her shows you are disrespectful and also are coming from a position of desperation. Leave her be - if she wants you, she will call.

 

However, I suspect she has met someone else to be so mean to you. Irregardless, let it go. It is time to move on.

[lillady898]

I know how heartbreaking it is for someone whom you genuinely care about and love wants nothing to do with you. It really sucks.

 

But, consider this. Some people get dragged along in the healing process. Their ex says, "Sure, we can still talk," which is giving you that little bit of hope of reconciliation. That hope of reconciliation only prolongs the pain for weeks, or many times months.

 

On the other hand, your ex outright told you she doesn't wish to talk to you. Your hope is already shattered. Now, you can continue move forward.

 

Take this as the real end. Walk away and don't look back.

 

Good luck, and given time, it will get easier.

[xenakis]

Hi,

 

I had the same thing happen to me. My Ex said we should stay friends, so I called about 2 weeks after the break-up. she was really cold and said we were communicating too much. I hadn't called for 2 weeks and prior we talked everyday.

 

She called me a week later all happy and nice. So, I tried calling again but she was upset once more. Everytime I tried making contact she was cold. so I stopped.

 

I later learned that the first time I contacted after the 2 weeks she was seeing someone and when she contacted me they had just broke up. Now she is with someone new.

 

Don't contact her in anyway and let time heal the wounds.

 

Go from there afterwards,

Good luck

[coooolsome]

Remember, that the dumper is hurting also. Even though they say that, they may not be able to handle it b/c she is hurting and she knows you are hurting. Go NC for a month or 2 so that both of you get over the breakup and then contact her if she hasnt contacted you.

 

Also, try to move on. Stop hoping, that is the worst thing you can do b/c it causes you to be on an emotional rollercoaster. You are lucky, you are still in college and the potential to meet new people is great. I got dumped after I graduated college and she entered and I am in the real world where its a lot harder to find people.

 

Take this time for yourself. Work on yourself, figure out what you want, date other people. If you two truly love each other, you will come back to each other but for now, live your life. Dont waste the best years of your life pining over a girl that you could have a chance with later on b/c you might actually miss the girl you are meant to be with.

[canuckhead]

You have to play the game right mate! First thing you did wrong was to contact her only after 4 days. I know it was hard for you but when you did that, you were actually acting clingy and was implying to her that the break up wasnt serious at all! I know she told you that the break up may only be temporary but let me tell you this, never completely believe what you hear unless its actioned out as well. But take it from me, its not all over if you play your cards right. Attraction is a weird thing. You have to keep your distance from her right now. When she sees you, dont get all clammy, try your best to be yoruself, like she was just a plain old friend. Dont set to impress thats what i mean. ok, maybe u can try to impress a lil by dressing up in clothes u look best in and putting on ur best cologne and driving ur bimmer...but just be urself. And please dont go calling her and never ever ever whine to mutual friends that you're still not over her. And in the meantime, better yourself as in try doing something different for a change, like taking up a 'cool sport' like surfing/gymming. You'll never know, you'll meet someone whilst you're doi`ng it!! And thats exactly what Im trying to get at...you psyche yourself into believing that she still wants you back (whether its true or not), but you want to move on with your own life now for the time being!! And if you do it right, chances are, she'll come around in time to come...but do bear in mind tho that this might take weeks even months. But if she does come around later, you will have the choice of taking her back or the sweet girl you met at the coffee house!! But whatever you do, dont grovel, dont call her (unless it's important like ur having surgery or its their birthday), dont let her know how hurt you are (she doesnt have to know and its not like it'll do your situation any good anyway) and most of all, dont whine about it!! Take it like a good sport and she'll soon realise what shes missing!!