Online dating & stuff

[mtastic]

Hi guys,

 

Got a little situation I'd like your input on:

 

So i've used link removed and yahoo personals for a while now to meet women, although recently i casncelled my subscriptions because Its getting a little tough to afford. Anyway, before i cancelled i decided to change my approach a little: after realizing that the majority of dates i got over match tended to only ever be a fun afternoon/evening out, and never progress on to a second date (in the majority of case's this was my date's decision), I decided to branch out a little more in terms of who i got to know, meaning instead of only contaxcting girls who I felt were more certianly "my type" to taking some chances, since worst comes to worst all i'd have to endure is one lunch/dinner/coffee/walk in the park/etc. with them, or simply not hear from them in responce at all. Honestly this didn't meet with much success in about the month and a half between making the decision and cancelling my subscription, although i attribute this more to the rather short period of time during which it was attempted and still fell the general concept is helpful in my continued attempts to approach women in person.

 

Thats sort of issue one i'd like comments on, which is more just a general case. I mean, does that seem like a resonable approach to dating in general? Or am I just setting myself up for even more rejection by going appraoching girls i might not on the surface have as much in common with?

 

Issue two is more specific, related to the points brought previously. About three weeks ago I sent a "wink" to a girl on match, as with my new approach she seemed like we would have somethings in common, but is not usually the type i would contact, and based on her photos she was attracitve to the point i can sometimes see as "too pretty to want anything to do with me." Anyway, I sent a "wink" just to see if she would respond, meaning this was just a notification sent through the site that i was interested in her profile, not any kind of personal email. Well i never heard back from her, so i figured "whatever, she just not interested." Well, with winter approaching and the weather getting less and less conducive to walking to school, I've been riding the subway more frequently. I'm pretty sure I've been seeing her on the train in the morning over the past week and a half or so, as she looks like the girl's pictures, albeit bundled up in a hat and scarf making it a little difficult to tell.

 

My questionn is should I approach her? I mean if it is the girl from match, do i simply go up to her and say 'hey, do you have a profile up on link removed?" I'd think that might be a little embarrasing for her. Also, I'm not sure weither or not she recognizes me, and theres already a good chance going into it that she's not interested in me anyway. Plus, we're only together on the train for about 5 or so minutes, so whatever i say has to be pretty quick inorder to get any kind of responce. maybe i'm worrying too much, i always freak out when i think about ap[proaching someone in person.

 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks,

mtastic

[ShySoul]

So very sorry no one had responded to you post in over a week. That is just inexcusable and I want to extend a heartfelt apology to you. I hope that you were not bothered by it or felt ignored.

 

Issue one: The way I see it there are two different philosophies when it comes to dating. One is to date as many people as possible to see what is out there. These people figure that the more chances you have, the more dates you have, better odds that you will find the right person. They think that you can't know what you want until you test drive a lot of different people.

 

The way myself and others see it is that the first method wastes a lot of time on things that go nowhere. I think that we all deep down know what we want anyways and that dating different people is not going to change the basic foundation of what we want. I also think that I can get to know people as friends and have a good idea if it would work out, and I don't want to date anyone unless there is a good chance it is going to work out. That way you don't have to go through the constant up and downs, getting your hopes up that this could be it only to find out it isn't. I say, do it once, do it right, never do it again.

 

It's up to you to decide which method best matches you.

 

Issue 2: Why not talk to her? Say hi and that you see her on the trian everyday and just wanted to say hi. Sure, ask her if its the same girl. If it is, laugh about what a coincidence it is and start talking. If it isn't, say you could have sworn she was, but thats ok cause you'd rather meet someone new. And then talk to her. You never know unless you try.