So confused...Try to get her back or NC again

[comets_21]

Hi,

 

Lately things have been tough on me. Just like many of us on here I want my ex back. She left me for another guy who she is still dating. This is where my mind is in shambles.... After I did NC, she realized what she was missing. I seen her once and I could tell she still had feelings for me. She has told me things like "I would want another chance" .... "I'll never feel the same way about the new guy as I do you" and I have even heard from her best friend that she would take me back in a second. Although I am still hurt , I still always think about her and still feel that love towards her. I have not done NC lately and feel it's done more harm then good. I find myself thinking about her more often and I feel as though she is just playing with me again. As though she knows she can come back to me if she wants to. She acts like she wants to talk to me and is interested but she is still dating the other guy. For example she will be home over the holidays and asked if I wanted to come to a NBA game with her? This is where I need advice... Should I try to win her back (go to the game with her... talk to her, etc) or should I go back into NC. I am getting those urges again that make me want to just tell her how I feel, and ask her if I decided I wanted to work things out if she'd end things with the new guy. What should I do... Thanks again for being there..

[lonelyfish]

Hi,

 

She has told me things like "I would want another chance" .... "I'll never feel the same way about the new guy as I do you" and I have even heard from her best friend that she would take me back in a second.

 

If this is true then she should be with you now! Go back and to N/C! She seems like she is playing games with you. Give her some more time to realize this new guy is not so hot.

[Mun]

Here's something worth thinking about :

 

Do you think maybe the reason she is still with the other guy and not in any hurry to get back with you is because she KNOWS she can come back to you at any time and you will take her back? She has no need to worry, you are still around..and the reason NC worked for you before is because you stood up for yourself, went away and she was forced to realize you would not always be there.

 

Why don't you do NC? It seems to work for you.

 

Don't let her play with your feelings, show her you still have dignity. If she is with that other guy then she doesn't get to have you waiting around like a dog waits for a bone --no offense. Let her live with her decision to dump you. Don't hang around. You are worth so much more than that and you know it !!

[heloladies21]

In cases like yours where you can't do NC and stick to it, the best thing to do is tell her how you feel and want her back and all that. Tell her as much and as often as you want and is possible. It won't bring her back, nothing will, but the rejection will push you to the point where you'll actually want to go NC. Then cut her out of your life for good because she disrespected you hard.

[RescueDiver]

The thing I've noticed is that women seem to like to say things like that. They're sentimental and emotional and love to say things like what your ex- has told you. The problem is that it doesn't mean that they're regretting their decisions and it drives us guys nuts!

[comets_21]

I'm starting again.. day 1 of NC. I'm going to make this last through the holidays. It's going to be very tough seeing that she is home for the holidays and her best friends are some of my best friends. She also lives 2 blocks away. This does not matter. I know what is best for me. She does not deserve my comfort.

[comets_21]

Hey guys,

Today I got a Christmas card from my ex. Before I share it I want to tell you about her. She's very attractive, comes from a very wealthy family and basically gets whatever she wants. This is one reason I believe NC worked before. I'm sure you know the basis of my situation. AThe card said;

 

hey! just wanted to write to make sure that you're in the chirstmas spirit. I definatly am and cannot wait for this semister of death to finally be over. I hope your studying is going well, but I know that you'll do great on your exams! :smile: Well, I hope we'll be able to go see that game!! (her dad has NBA box tickets for her.. she wants to bring me) It would be such a good time! xoxoxo

 

I plan on staying in NC and if she happens to txt msg me or call me I will just say Thanks for the card.. it was cute. (she made nice decorations with it) That is all I am going to say. I am not going to ask about her new man or tell her how much she hurt me. Do you have any suggestions?

[heloladies21]

No Contact means not letting her get a hold of you either. If she calls, don't pickup. If she texts, don't reply. If you're not strong enough to do this then you're not ready for NC.

 

Tell her how you want her back, you need to get it out of your system or else you'll just be holding yourself back from healing.

[Mun]

I don't meant to be mean, but your ex doesn't sound like a very loyal gf. Why is she taking you to a game when she has a man? Shouldn't she be taking him?