Confused.

[Girl-walking-backwards]

Well...I'm bisexual...I think.

 

Like, I can fall in love with men, just not as often. I'm not attracted to men really. Like, when I pick up a fashion mag or something I look at the women more. The female body is really beautiful to me. So I guess I'm a bi that leans more towards females, or something. Thing is, I don't really like doing sexual things with anyone. Like, I get horny, and I'll fool around with people, but the thing I enjoy most is the intimacy and kissing and carressing, that kind of thing. I've only had an orgasm from another person once. I find masturbating is more effective and I kind of dread the sexual things in the relationship.

 

Whats wrong with me?

[lilkat21]

there is nothing wrong with you...you are just trying to find your sexual idenitity. There is nothing you can do about it. I dont know how old you are so I am at liberty to say your probably in high school. But I dont know. Just let things happen...you cant force yourself to be one way or the other. It just has to happen and yes its hard. As for the intamacy part the same thing goes you are not comfortable enough with yourself to let yourself go. Everyone gets horny at one time or another but dont feel like you have to *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* someone to get off. And dont also think that if all you do is masturbate you will always dread a sexual relationship. Find yourself first before you put a lable to it.

[analyticalgirl]

I completely agree with the last post. I think that's a common problem and you shouldn't feel like something is wrong with you. You don't have an age up here so I'm guessing you're pretty young. There's nothing wrong about being confused as to what you are. I'm confused about it myself. In todays society it seems like we always have to label things and ourselves, but do we really have to? My advice would be to go with the flow, whatever happens...happens for a reason and it will all work out in the end. You don't have to know for certain if you're Lesbian or Bi...in time, it will come to you.

 

Now as for the sexual part of a relationship...have you asked yourself why you're uncomfortable with it? Do you not like something about your body? Are you afraid of doing something wrong? When you think things like this, it takes away from what you're doing and can cause you to not be able to have an orgasm with someone. When you're alone, you're more comfortable and can just let go because the," What are they thinking?" factor isn't there.

 

Don't feel bad about not having an orgasm when you're with someone. Many things come into play with it. Being comfortable is one of them, but also your age and stage of sexual development. The female body reaches its sexual prime much later than the male body, so don't sweat it too much. When you masturbate, its because you're taking care of your sexual desire at that moment in time. Sometimes when you're with someone you can't get aroused enough for it....its normal!!

[jabele]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm sort of in the same place as you. In the past, I've questioned my sexuality because I do find the female body to be very beautiful and have been aroused by some celebrity women's bodies. While I don't fantacize about *being* with women, I have thought of women's bodies in masterbation...which I feel embarrassed about. 80-90% of the time when I masterbate though, I think about being with men, and men's bodies. I absolutely love men, and "hooking up" with men, but I feel like I have a really hard time letting myself go and feeling comfortable with sex. Whenever I think its getting to that point, and they want sex, I freak out. I'm 22 and have never had sex even though I could have like a million times. The only times I've come dangerously close to sex was when I was drunk - I guess because all my inhibitions were gone, I don't know. I just don't understand myself. I mean, I've never really *liked* women- I had a little crush on someone I worked with when I was 16, but she was older and so cool and pretty, it was kind of like a idealized crush...I don't know, maybe.

 

I'm pretty confused myself. Most of the time I just go around thinking I'm straight, but sometimes I question myself and some of the things I do, and why I have trouble going to the sex part with men - and not being aroused in those situations (even though I can be in masterbation). Anyway if people have advice, feel free to share.