What's wrong with me?

[Jessica45]

What's wrong with me? Every time a guy likes me, I do something that makes them don't like me anymore. I don't even know what. I am really shy and I think maybe I make them feel awkward. Then, when they don't like me anymore, I start having a huge crush on them. Any tips on how to open up to people?

[Alabama]

I suggest see if you can't find any good topic conversations. Maybe ask them how their weekend went, or if they have any interesting hobbies you can go from there. As long as you think of something that will keep them interested, than I'm sure your shyness won't intimidate them. Good luck.

[DiscipleOfChange]

Well, what sorts of things do you think you moght be doing? Maybe it might be something you'r not doing. My experience used to be that if I like a girl, I'll give it a week of chatting/flirting/ trying to hang out with her on a one-on-one basis and if she didn't reciprocate or kept having to cancel, I assumed she wasn't interested. So I guess the key thing is to make sure you're letting on that you're interested in them (assuming you really are)

[cenkbut]

Well, what sorts of things do you think you moght be doing? Maybe it might be something you'r not doing. My experience used to be that if I like a girl, I'll give it a week of chatting/flirting/ trying to hang out with her on a one-on-one basis and if she didn't reciprocate or kept having to cancel, I assumed she wasn't interested. So I guess the key thing is to make sure you're letting on that you're interested in them (assuming you really are)

 

I dont agree that you must lead the conversation. All you have to do is smile. You will see, everything will be different. It's proved that a smile or joke is better than carrying a long a conversation.

[RescueDiver]

Can you give us any examples Jessica. I doubt it's anything you're doing wrong, it's probably just that guys are fickle creatures and until we've developed feelings for someone our attractions towards someone can come and go daily.

[Jessica45]

Well, i think it's mainly that i'm really shy and if they want to talk to me, they really nave to get out there. I feel more comfortable around people i know, so i'm always with them or am looking for them. I don't talk much either, so maybe they think that i don't care and aren't listening, i dunno.

[RescueDiver]

Well, i think it's mainly that i'm really shy and if they want to talk to me, they really nave to get out there. I feel more comfortable around people i know, so i'm always with them or am looking for them. I don't talk much either, so maybe they think that i don't care and aren't listening, i dunno.

 

 

I don't think shyness is a bad thing necessarily. The only way I can see it being a problem is if you go from being really shy, to being a motormouth. That can weird some guys out. It's to be expected that you're more comfortable around people you know. In order to get more comfortable talking to strangers you basically have to make an effort to get out and do it. When you're waiting in the line at a store or something just try to strike up a conversation with some random guy (or the cashier). Since you'll probably never see them again it shouldn't matter if you blow it or not.

[ShySoul]

Well, i think it's mainly that i'm really shy and if they want to talk to me, they really nave to get out there. I feel more comfortable around people i know, so i'm always with them or am looking for them. I don't talk much either, so maybe they think that i don't care and aren't listening, i dunno.

 

I'm really shy myself and aren't comfortable with people I don't know. I don't talk much in conversations either, unless I'm really close to them. So I know how awkward and strange you must feel at times, how self conscious. I think the thing to realize is that there isn't a problem with you. Being shy isn't a weakness or something you need to get over. It is a natural part of who you are. The problem is when you let your fears get the better of you so you don't say anything at all. If you don't say things to people you are around, it can grow into an awkward silence. Try to talk about subjects you know you and the other person enjoy and can talk about.

 

Believe in yourself. You are a good person and will find someone. Just don't get to down on yourself about this.