VEN Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Hi Guys, i've liked this girl for a while and i wrote a poem over a 2 week period...and i want to know what it sounds like...we don't know each other much: Whether a sunny morning or a rainy afternoon revealed your identity to me or I was awestruck by my mind playing tricks on me But you were no illusion, instead a symbol of elegance and charm, a bright angle lighting up my heart ever since The thought of you pilots me into the world of affection and yearning, but it still suspends me in the air as I await the perfect landing You enchant the sun of the day and the moon of the night which are your everlasting spotlights Your beautiful glance and your eye-catching stance leave a chilly trace of a mind-blowing feeling pumping through my blood You attain a talent, a talent of seduction, a talent which I am an eternal victim of. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Cute. I think she would like it.... but first you should talk to her and get to know her better. It might be odd for her to know that someone she doesn't really know is writing her poems like that. Get to know her, and then if you get close enough to share that kind of stuff, show her. Link to comment
VEN Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 yeah, we talked several times, once kinda personal...and i gave her something for christmas..and she knows how i feel, thanks for the comment Link to comment
Mister X Dominick Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 You, man, did well! Cool, congratulations. You know what I wanna say? Maybe you'll try to attend a competition to win a prize for the longest line within a poem? Ha? What do you think? Besides joke, I really appreciate you!!! Keep going..... MXD Link to comment
VEN Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 Thanks, i really feel for her maybe that's why, i know its not the best but the thing is, i really feel that way, and no matter what the peole in my school say, i'll give it to her Link to comment
ShySoul Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 If you really feel for her and wrote it from the heart, then it is good. Give it to her man. Link to comment
VEN Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 she was quick and cold ''thank you for the poem, it was very well written but I don't like you, (I'm sorry if you're hurt)'' people tell me to just ask girls out but I can't do that....I really cared for her....I haven't cared for a girl the same way I cared for her, she was my sunshine, but now it's like an eclipse, an eternal one, like she's covered by a veil, forever....... Link to comment
ocrob Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Well my friend, you are getting off to a good start. You are passionate and real and some woman out there will definitely appreciate that. I wrote about 50 poems for my ex over a period of time and I made it into a book and gave it to her on Valentines day two years ago. It felt really good. Since then, she is my ex and I have decided to move on. You will find that there are so many different people out there. Some have been hurt and can't give their hearts or appreciate what you did, but others are just waiting to find it. I miss my ex, but also know there are plenty of other women out there. It is just timing, chemistry, state of mind. Good luck. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 VEN, she doesn't know what she is missing. She could have been a little nicer as well. Don't give up, you'll find someone who appreciates the beautiful heart you have. And she will be better then this girl, as hard as it may be to see that now. Don't lose hope. Link to comment
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