How do I stop thinking?

[Nocturne]

Hello all, just another girl looking for a bit of advice if possible. (Oh, and I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum. Seemed like the best place to post...)

 

I used to know a guy from school, and I'll admit it - I had a crush on him (of course he never knew it). But when I reached high school, I lost track of him for years - yet I still would think about him. And it didn't help that I was in an all-girls high school either, so finding other guys to get my mind off him was...rare. Now I'm in my 20's and recently I've found out there's a chance he might come back into my life. I still think about him constantly, which is silly, since I can barely remember what he looks like…

 

Please help me - how do I stop thinking about this guy? I've tried telling myself numerous times that I should stop daydreaming and concentrate on reality, after all - he probably doesn't even remember me! ...But my thoughts just won't focus. I feel somewhat ashamed too. After writing this all down, it seems more like infatuation rather than 'love', right? ...Infatuation that's been going on for years. How does one break these kinds of thoughts if you've done nothing but think them for so long? I'm afraid. I'm afraid I might miss a real opportunity should I meet someone else, if I'm still only thinking about him…

 

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Any help would be appreciated, thankyou.

 

-N.

[Alabama]

I had the same feeling. There was a girl I liked through in childhood and she didn't even know I liked her back. Well years later in high school, I saw her again but could not stop. And then even when I entered College, I found out she would be going to the same one! It was hopeless. But then I told myself to concentrate on something else to help keep my mind off of her...well it worked. When I did get a chance to see her, I had lost hope (not a bad thing as I see it) and decided to let her go her own way in life. I found my way. And I believe things have gotten better because of that. So keep busy and try to think of something else. Good luck.

[Nocturne]

Thankyou for your advice, Alabama. Looks like I'm going to have to start trying extra hard to concentrate on something else rather than think of him...going to be difficult, but seems like there's not much else I can do. Hehe, thanks again

[ShySoul]

When you like someone, they will always have a special place in your thoughts. I occasionally think of girls I liked back in elementary and middle school, despite not having seen them in 8 years. And if I ever had the chance to see them again I probably would go crazy and start dreaming of us being together after all this time. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

I say, don't think about not thinking about him. Don't try so hard. In trying to push him out of your thoughts, you are actually keeping him in your thoughts. (Odd, isn't it? ) Just concentrate on the other things in your life. Enjoy your life. You will still think of him now and then, and you shouldn't be upset when you do. But gradually it will lessen.

[Alabama]

Excellent Nocturne! I wish you all the luck!

[RescueDiver]

The obsessive thoughts go away in time. There was a girl I was completely obsessed with (and thought I was in love with of course) when I was in 4th grade. She and I actually started to become pretty good friends about 4 years later (just in time for me to move 180 miles away). I still think about her from time to time.