want to ask, but not sure of my intentions

[DiscipleOfChange]

So basically now that I've gotten use to the idea and practice of asking and taking a girl for coffee, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm doing it just for its own sake. Let me explain a little bit more:

There's this girl who I've talked with on a number of occasions in the dining hall. (This girl by the way was the one who approached me at a dance a fe weeks back and asked my name and we introduced ourselves and danced.) Anywyas, I've been batting the idea of asking her for coffee around in my head. The problem is, I don't really feel attracted to her like I have with the other girls I've asked for coffee so far.

It doesn't seem like the attention I get from her when she greets me or in conversation is anymore than she seems to give her friends. I mean, she isn't unattractive she just isn't as cute as girls I'm usually interested in...

...and that's the real kicker. the thing which makes me hate myself because even though I always used the argument that looks play a big part in attraction at first and that such a fact is not necessarily a bad thing, I still dislike the fact that it applies to me as well.

I do enjoy talking with her and we do see each other several times a week in the dining hall. I probably will end up asking her for coffee. I just want to make sure I'm being honest with myself and more importantly, her. what I'm trying to say is that unlike before, where my asking a girl to coffee was based on serious initial attaction on my part and was designed to be ( although at the time I always told myself otherwise) a way of trying to develop a building block to something more, this time it would be just to see what it would be like spending one-on-one time with her and i wouldn't want to get this girl's hopes up.

 

I understand this post may appear cryptic but I don't fully understand it myself. I'd appreciate any comments you all have to offer

[ComputerGuy]

To be quite honest, I think your more "pure" intentions with this girl and the fact you just want to get to know her and spend one on one time with says a lot for the sort of person you are. It seems to me like you know exactly where you stand, you just want to be good friends and if something more happens than so be it (at least thats how I see it anyway). Your big problem seems to be worrying about misleading her - my advice is just go with it, enjoy hanging out with her, and if nothing happens but you get the impression she wants more, simply say to her - "I dont want to lead you on or anything - we are just good friends OK?" and try to be gentle about it.

 

Other than that, it sounds like you may have the basis for a very good and close friendship at worst.