Hidden meaning behind going from "Together on a break" to "Officially Broken up"?

[bsp_kjm]

I have a question that I'd like to get some opinions on. Bare with me here...

 

When a couple goes from "being together but on a break" to being "officially broken up" as in you are not a couple, does that usually mean the person initiating the breakup wants to escape from the "rules" of a monogamous relationship such as being faithful to that one person and not messing around with others? Is the hidden meaning behind the "title" change usually: "I want to fool around with other people and by not having the title of us being together, I can do it without guilt"? Are there other reasons to why someone would want to completely break up a relationship when they just want space instead of staying together with that person while getting that space? Am I even making any sense?

 

The only thing that comes to my mind when someone wants to completely break off a relationship is when they want to fool around with someone else. Can someone, maybe in their own experience, make me think other wise? Do people actually feel they need space from the person they supposedly love just to sort out other things? I just can't see that...

[Nkaleidoscopic]

I think people break up for alot of different reasons.

 

Maybe they just don't like you anymore. I think it's really possible that they need space. Maybe they want to be single and have fun. Maybe the realtionship is stressful.

 

And many more reasons. .

[stratguy620]

In my experience, taking a break is either breaking up with someone, but trying to do it in a nice way, or they are asking permission to cheat on you. I would consider taking a break as just breaking up completely.

[ocrob]

I would confront the person and find out what the rules are. I am sure that if you say you want to experiment sexually with other people that person will either freak out or show you they don't care. Ask the question and let them know you are going to have some fun.

[lady00]

There are plenty of other reasons besides wanting to fool around with other people that someone might go from being "on a break" to being "broken up." Sometimes a break is just a step towards breaking up, a misguided attempt to soften the blow of the eventual breakup.

[bsp_kjm]

do any of u feel that when people say they need space to sort things out that they actually mean it, like they are going to use that space for that and soley that?

[ComputerGuy]

I've seen it happen - where a break has been used as an excuse to sleep around under the pretence of "We weren't together so it's not cheating". It's still cheating and still breaking someone's trust.

[polaris]

I've seen it happen - where a break has been used as an excuse to sleep around under the pretence of "We weren't together so it's not cheating". It's still cheating and still breaking someone's trust.

 

Very true. I've even seen "We were broken up in my mind, so it was okay to sleep with someone, I just didn't tell him we were broken up because I didn't want to hurt him, and we're back together now". Aka, cheating, not telling, and inventing a comical excuse in an attempt not to feel guilty.

 

People will eat the cake, and then go to extraordinary lengths to tell themselves it's not fattening. Twas ever thus.

[heloladies21]

That's easy, they say they want a break to keep their options open. Why would someone want to burn a bridge? If they change their mind, they want to have the ability to get you back. Clean break ups by the dumper don't usually happen for this reason.

[healinginnyc81]

I'd say a lot of times the dumper is just trying to avoid hurting your feelings and trying to avoid feeling guilty about breaking up so they soften it.

[acuraman]

From my experiences, taking a break means that the person is evaluating whether to remain in the relationship due to problems, issues, or something that was said/done that caused the other person to become hurt. Hopefully the time apart will heal and mend the relationship.

[Cooperstown]

From my expierance I just initiated a break with my gf of 2 years, it has nothing to do with a desire to sleep around. Rather I'm taking into account what my life is like without her in it, the things she has to offer and the things that need to change for me to be happy in that relationship. I also am thinking about my needs as an individual without worrying about the needs of another. Basically I'm putting my happiness first determing my needs and then seeing where she fits in, if she fits in. Mind you I'm not looking to sleep around, but if for some reason I meet someone that is absolutely incredible I'm not saying I won't find out more about the person, I just won't take it to a physical level.