Mildly attracted to a friend...

[jdheinold]

Hey guys, i hope you can point me in the right direction here.

 

i think i'm becoming attracted to a friend i;ve had for 3 years. when i first met her i never found her attractive, and up until recently, it has stayed that way. we haven't been close friends, and it has been a long time since we talked at length. la few weeks back she mentioned in passing that she was going to see a movie alone. we continued to chat for a few minutes, and then she invite me to go with her, and being the good friend i said sure. that was thet until last week, and i was helping her with a law school essay. i was real focused on trying to help her, and she asked if i wanted to go over, see a movie, and continue editing. well, i went over, and all we ended up doing is drinking a bottle of wine and watching a movie on tv. there was no real flirting going on as far as i could see. (i'm not the best judge of flirting, but there was little conversation while the movie was on.)

 

however, before we really started watching the movie, we were talking about stuff, crap in general and i found out she had alot of the same interests that i do. from that moment, i started looking at her in a different way. she is also my best friends ex, by a couple of years.

 

i'm wondering if i should follow up on things with her. i like the friendship we have, and i worried about ruining it...but i don't want to deny my feelings. what should i do? any suggestions would be great, thanks in advance

 

JD

[PocoDiablo]

Hey, it's simple. You cannot ruin this because you're way too late to ask her out. You're also deep into friend zone. There is - in my opinion - absolutely NO chance of her ever liking you as more than a friend. I mean really, by not making a move on her from the get go, you essentially told her that she is ugly, dumb, and not your type. That was a slap in the face most folks won't forget.

 

So do as you please, but remember you missed your window of opportunity a long time ago.

 

And remember - men cannot be friends with women because we ALWAYS start thinking about sex! You don't think about sex with your guy friends, right? Right! It's because they are friends! Women are more than that, so get that straight.

[jdheinold]

one thing i didn't say is the reason i didn't get to know her bettr over these few years is because i was in a relationship...maybe that gives a better chance?

[grymoire]

dude

 

if u r friends with a woman u never ever become her boyfriend.. i don't understand that psychology but that's how it is... i recently got burnt in the same situation...

 

good luck

[ducky]

dude

if u r friends with a woman u never ever become her boyfriend.. i don't understand that psychology but that's how it is... i recently got burnt in the same situation...

good luck

 

Well I've recently had the same experience but PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM TRYING. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. If you sense that there is something going on, make a move.

 

Start flirting with her, and see if she flirts back. I know of many cases where love follows from a long period of friendship. All the best!

[Dating Coach]

dude

 

if u r friends with a woman u never ever become her boyfriend.. i don't understand that psychology but that's how it is... i recently got burnt in the same situation...

 

good luck

 

There are always exceptions grymoire, but yes, you do not want to go this route because there is a big heavy trend of ruining your chances by doing this.

[saren]

I became attracted to a friend once, and it ruined the whole thing. He actually went out of his way to treat me like crap after that. You can try, though. Otherwise you may well be consumed with "what if"s

 

As they say, hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.

[Dating Coach]

And if the best doesn't happen then move on and kill your hopes. You owe yourself more than to linger around hoping the person will change their mind or thinking that you can influence their decision. Respect their decision and move on if the answer isn't a "yes".