I don't want jealousy to get in the way.

[mutley001]

Hello, I found this site by mistake, looking for help on a search engine. I hope someone has some decent advise for my problem. I have been with my partener for 8 months now and we are planning to move in together in september. It is my 2nd serious relationship and so far it has been very good. We have had our ups and downs, but on a whole we are very happy anf love each other profoundly.

Recently I have been aving deep feelings of jealousy towards him. In general I am not a jealous person and am very secure. Basically, its as though he has(and had) everything I don't(and havn't).

He really enjoys his course at uni and thrives from it, he is doing the same degree as me but i graduated last year. He is so popular and sought over, he achives highly and all the tutors give him so much praise and encouragement. I never had that, no-one ever told me they were proud of me and i had to convinse myself i was talented. I am findng it hard to find work in the proffession i have been trained into and he, i am sure, will.

He has a big, close family and they are well off and have holidays and big cars etc. I come from a disfunctional, single parent family.

I have worked for the past 6 years to support myself with uni, rent, bills, everything i own- i have worked for. He has everything paid for and i pay alot for him too and most of the time, its unnapreciated.

I always feel 2nd best and when we socialze with friends he beams and has so much attention from everyone because of his looks and confidence.

Its as if he has everything i always dreamed of and never had and itss being rubbed in my face.

I have never been jealous before, this is why its so confusing. I have always been proud of my bacground and my independance but recently i am starting to resent him because i feel like 'why him'. Why should he be so happy and receive all the time.

If anyone has any advise or shares the same feelings, i would love to hear from you. Thanks x

I don't know if/how i should talk to him about it and why i feel this resentment. E

[sabena]

hello, I have been in a similar position to yourself with my boyfriend who seems to have all the friends in the world, great job and always seems to get the opportunities that I don't, know what I mean? This I think has been making me a little jealous and insecure about myself.

 

However, just recently I have been realising that my job cannot be compated to his (I am a nurse) because potentially I have the power to alter life/death situations and I feel proud that I do this. Too, I realise that even though he has many friends and I have just a few, his friends are not best friends...true best friends like mine...

 

I just started to look at what I had and realised that if I were alone I would be happy with what I have and that just because someone seems to have everything doesn't mean they do so.

 

And as an extra bonus point, if your boyfriend has a fabulous life, friends, work, hobbies then he obviously has a fabulous girlfriend who just needs to be a little bit more secure...Look at yourself and wonder why you feel He has everything, maybe something has happened in the past that you have not tackled.

 

take care