Improving self-esteem/changing mentality

[xcountryprincess]

For as long as i can remember i've been unhappy with the person i am. I always compare myself to others and all i see are the ways i don't measure up. I've always told myself that i'm "stupid, fat, and ugly" and i just can't get thoes words out of my head.

 

I'm not huge (weightwise) but i just see people around me with gorgeous bodies and i don't understand how i can think i actually look ok. I don't know why any guy would want to date me the way i am. I'm a pretty good student but i just see the people that i feel are so much smarter than me and i feel like an idiot. I have days where it's like "ok yeah this is you, you don't look that bad" but then i just get around other people and i think in my head that i'm the fat, ugly friend.

 

All my friends say i look great but i just feel huge. Though i look in the mirror and see a decent sized person when i'm in social settings with people i don't know (particularly guys) i think i'm the fat, ugly one, so i don't really put myself out there. To me they're thinking "why is this chick talking to me when her much thinner and prettier friend is obviously the one i'm gonna go for"

 

How do i change this mentality? I've told myself i'm a certain way for so long that i can't change what i think.

[OneConfusedGuy]

I've often thought the same about myself, infact I still do at times. I've improved my life style by exercising, not playing as much video games, and reading more. So far things haven't gotten worse atleast. I have more energy during the day and seem to have a neutral outlook on what I'm doing most of the time, instead of the usual "you're not good enough" attitude. I only started doing this this last Janurary... and I guess I can say I have improved... but I still have a long road to walk and it's not going to be easy. Maybe getting outside, even if it's for a walk will help you some? I hope this chips your ice berg =) Good luck my friend and I wish you the best!

[Caldus]

How do i change this mentality?

 

1. Work out.

2. Change other aspects of your looks such as clothes, etc. that will help you feel better about your overall image.

3. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

4. Don't base self-esteem purely on your outside image.

[havealittlefaithinme6]

I know exactly what you're going through, and I never had the 'perfect' body, but as time went on I was tired of feeling bad about who I was and tired of being ignored by guys. I was not fat, but I was not the skinniest person, someone told me, "If you don't think you're beautiful, no one else will." Stop comparing yourself to everybody else and love who you are. You don't have to be a size 2 with blond hair and blue eyes to get a guy to notice you. Just eat healthy and cut back on any extra food that is not necessary, also try and get out and get some exercise, or maybe go shopping and stay out of the house. After a few weeks of doing this, you'll feel good about yourself. About the guy part, have confidence in yourself, when a cute guy walks by making eye contact and smile at him. Or if you just met a guy, don' be shy! Start up a conversation. The main ting you want to do overall is just feel and act confident, I know it's not as easy as it's said, but just do it, and you'll feel good.

[brahman]

you could always take up martial arts. thats what i did. i dont really do it all that much anymore, but it helped big time.

 

a sports martial art like Brazilian Juijitsu or Tae Kwon Do or even boxing are good to help someone deal witht he way they look. mostly becuase it takes your mind off yourself and put it into some other topic.

 

i dont know if your into tai chi, but i hear it is good for relaxating and meditating.

[brahman]

you could always take up martial arts. thats what i did. i dont really do it all that much anymore, but it helped big time.

a sports martial art like Brazilian Juijitsu or Tae Kwon Do or even boxing are good to help someone deal witht he way they look. mostly becuase it takes your mind off yourself and put it into some other topic.

i dont know if your into tai chi, but i hear it is good for relaxating and meditating.

[Hasie]

Hi

 

I see many people have suggested many ways in improving self esteem. One suggestion I'll make is communication and conversing with others. To converse well, it really improves your self esteem too and it happens so naturally. Start by just talking to people or IM around a lot.

 

I also suggest you to quickly browse this new conversational tips thread that I am begging to compose and will be updated sometime soon.

 

Try

 

Hasie