Not sure whether she's interested

[Trax]

So, I met this girl on Friday and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. Lots of common interests, good conversation, flirting, etc.

 

Anyways at the end of the night I got her number and we gave each other a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

 

So, I call her to see if she wants to hang out on Sat. She already had plans and said to call her on any other night since she didn't have any plans then. So, I called her yesterday to see if she wanted to go to a show on Wed. She sounded intrigued, but then said that she doesn't make plans ahead of time and that she would call me or to call her on Wed. I said ok, I will call on Wed.

 

Now, I can't tell if she's just shy or not interested. Should I even bother calling her and asking her out, or just forget it and move on?

[ghozt]

see what happens on weds day if she calls then go if not give it a few days and no word forget her and move on

[whitefang]

From what you have described at the start, it sounds like she's very much interested in you and the night ended on a good note. I'd wait and see what happens too on Wednesday, if she can't make it then you have to decied you can either ask what's the matter or just let it go and if she contacts then, i'd say it's a viable sign that she wants too see you again.

 

She gave you her number so im sure she has good intentions (hopefully), it is possible that she might have some other commitments, but for now just play it by ear and see how it goes

[Trax]

Well, looks like my concern was unfounded. She called me tonight to confirm hanging out tomorrow night. Kind of weird how she was unsure last night, but tonight sounded excited...whatever...I'm psyched!

[atraceofblood]

Well, looks like my concern was unfounded. She called me tonight to confirm hanging out tomorrow night. Kind of weird how she was unsure last night, but tonight sounded excited...whatever...I'm psyched!

 

dang man, I wish my odd situations ended up like yours! Goodluck, let us know how it all goes!

[Trax]

So, we went out on Wednesday and had a really good time. Talked the whole time. We hugged at the end of the night and I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She said to giver her a call again.

 

I found out she is just getting out of a relationship. I am too if any of you have read my posts in the other forum. I didn't mention this to her yet and am not sure if and when a good time would be.

 

I really like her a lot, but know I need to take things slowly. I went over to my friend's place last night who is going out with her friend. We all were talking and it sounded like that her friend and her and a couple of my buddies are planning on going out tonight and talked about getting together. I haven't talked to her directly about it, but am wondering if I should give her a quick call and see what she's doing tonight. Should I call or just let things happen on their own?

 

Thanks for any input.

[Trax]

Ok, so Saturday was a strange night to say the least. As I mentioned before my friend is going out with her friend and a couple of my friends and her friends all met up at a bar for one of her other friend's birthdays (kinda confusing but it provides some background).

 

Needless to say it wasn't the best situation for us to talk or enjoy each other's company since she was talking with all her friends and I was talking with mine and it left little room for us to chat. She's a very attractive woman so guys were hitting on her a lot, but I honestly didn't mind since A. She's not my girlfriend, B. We're not exclusively dating and C. We're both single and can talk/mingle with whomever we feel like. I think she was just being friendly and at the end of the night when we were leaving she completely ignored this guy that tried to get her number.

 

Anyways she got pretty wasted and I wound up giving her a ride. I didn't know exactly where she lived and she was basically passed out in my car and unresponsive. I figured it would have been a bad idea to take her back to my house (I moved back in with my folks) as that probably would have freaked her out. So, I called my friend (the one who's dating her friend) and he said it was ok for her to crash at his place. She finally comes to and decides she doesn't want to stay there and that she'll crash at one of her guy friend's places near by. I say ok and we gave each other a hug goodnight and went on our way. I was kinda pissed that I had driven all around, but whatever I didn't know what else to do.

 

The next morning I get a voicemail she had left me in the night basically apologizing for everything. She apparently tried to drive home and fortunately for her only got a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. She also said someone had snatched some money from her wallet. She said to call her whenever. I was concerned and gave her a call on Sunday afternoon and left her a voicemail basically making sure that everything was ok and to call me back. I haven't heard back yet.

 

Am I overanalyzing this way too much (something I tend to do a lot of anyway) or should I just calm down and wait for her to call me? I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or whatever, but I also want to know she's ok, so I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

[leavemealone]

It's only Monday! Give her some time. Plus she might be ashamed and not feel all that comfortable talking to you right now.

[Caterina]

Don't be overeager! Just enjoy yourself...she obviously is at least interested, now is the time to show her what a great person you are.

[Trax]

Ok, but should I give her a call or hold my ground still?

[Dating Coach]

Make sure you are not showing more interest then she is, even if you really are feeling that way.

 

Also, quit the whole kissing on the cheek and hugging thing. There is nothing wrong with attempting to give her a kiss on the mouth. If she goes for it, you are in. If she doesn't then don't try again until the end of the next date. As far as calling her, only do that to set up plans and keep the conversations short. For the next date, take her somewhere where the two of you can sit together and get to know each other better.

[Caterina]

I say do what you would normally do, with no other intentions. Be yourself and make sure you have your own life...don't overanalyze. Right now she likes you, just start getting to know her...call her if you like her! If it doesn't work out, thats just a normal part of dating...and not your fault...you need to see if she's also right for you, its not one-way... I like this bat.

[Trax]

Well, I gave her a call yesterday. Left her a voicemail. Have not heard back. The ball's in her court now I guess, but this is not a good sign. At least I tried. Unless I hear back, I'm moving on. Sucks too because I thought she was an interesting chick, but oh well she doesn't know what she's missing out on. Such is life.

[Dating Coach]

You are correct, the ball is in her court. Make sure you aren't playing ball by yourself.

[FCTex]

Make sure you are not showing more interest then she is, even if you really are feeling that way.

 

.

 

While I would normally agree with this. Once a girl has show strong intrest, I don't see it a problem showing equal or slightly more intrest than the woman. Many find it an attractive and reassuring thing to see a man going for more than whats at hand, so to speak. While I'm not saying, go all out and lay down your coat, at every step she takes. I think that showing avid interest in her, yet keeping a distance is the key. Don't act like it doesn't matter to you regardless.

[Dating Coach]

While I would normally agree with this. Once a girl has show strong intrest, I don't see it a problem showing equal or slightly more intrest than the woman. Many find it an attractive and reassuring thing to see a man going for more than whats at hand, so to speak. While I'm not saying, go all out and lay down your coat, at every step she takes. I think that showing avid interest in her, yet keeping a distance is the key. Don't act like it doesn't matter to you regardless.

 

That's not what I said. If she is interested in him then of course he needs to show interest back. What I am saying is that if she says:

 

"I like spending time with you"

 

he should not say, "OMG I like, so love spending time with you too!"

 

I she calls once a week he should not call 5 times a week.

 

If you set yourself at a pace too far ahead of where the other person is this early in the dating stage, then you risk running them off.

[FCTex]

I agree with that. Thats just common sense.. I just find it very un natural to act "not intrested" for the sake of having someone chase all the time, and have it go back and forth. Mainly because what do you do when you make it an exclusive relationship. You can't act disintrested after that point obviously!!

[Dating Coach]

It is common sense but you'd be surprised by how many guys do this.

[Trax]

Thanks for the input fellas, but it looks like this one's not even going to get off the ground. Since I called her last Wed., I have heard nothing back and haven't really asked around about her. I'm kinda bummed because I thought we hit it off really well and she was giving me signs she was interested. Not sure what happened, but what can you do? I thought I had at the very least, made a new friend. I'm hoping someone else comes along soon though. She really helped me take my mind off the ex.

[Dating Coach]

Thanks for the input fellas, but it looks like this one's not even going to get off the ground. Since I called her last Wed., I have heard nothing back and haven't really asked around about her. I'm kinda bummed because I thought we hit it off really well and she was giving me signs she was interested. Not sure what happened, but what can you do? I thought I had at the very least, made a new friend. I'm hoping someone else comes along soon though. She really helped me take my mind off the ex.

 

Don't get hung up on girls too quickly if you can help it. Dating is a numbers game and if you set your expectations too high too soon then you only increase your chances of being hurt.

 

If she hasn't called you back by now that is a very bad sign. I would move on. The ball is in her court and she isn't serving.