I aksed the ex for a 2nd chance

[heartbroken84]

As pathetic as it sounds, yes, I told him I still had feelings. He said he wants time to think about it--a week. No promises.

 

Now I am so impatient from a false hope he gave me--I'm suffering. Which is my own fault, but I really want this second chance and he gives me mixed signals. I wish he would cut me cold turkey, cause surely I cannot do it. He says he doesn't love me, but still says oh I miss you/I still have a connection with you. He still hugs/holds my hand. I can't do this when I have feelings for him...

 

How do I get rid of this false hope? I really want him to say yes, but...I know I can't change how someone feels...but...I just pray for that chance.

[Jonboy582]

Sounds just like me and my ex, although there was no chance of getting back together for a while we werelike that. But Ireally think you shouldprepare for the worste assume he not going to take you back. Then in that case you wont be disapointed as much if he says he doesnt want you. And if he does you will be even more alated than before.

[heartbroken84]

I know, expect the worst, hope for the best. But really I should be expecting the worst. Cause honestly we have been broken up for 4 months....if he wanted me back he would have contacted me.

 

This is sooo stupid of me to think that he would want a second chance with me. Clearly he enjoyed the summer away from me and now he enjoys his senior year w/o me.

 

I have to move on and I cannot see him anymore. He may not know it, but this false hope is killing me on the inside and considering we had break up sex last week. It doesn't help! I would only give sex up if we were working towards a relationship--he knows that. Yet he still wanted it and then labeled it as just fun.

 

I am so hurt, all over again

[Hope75]

heartbroken,

 

It's NOT stupid to ask for a second chance. You care about this person and you miss him. He's thinking about it so obviously he doesn't think it's stupid either.

 

How long were you together, and why did you break up?

[RayKay]

It was not stupid to ask him for a second chance, or to let him know how you felt....

 

However, what WOULD be stupid is if in a week he decided "no" and you still hung around telling him your feelings, and taking whatever scraps he sent your way.

 

So...if his answer is NO, start moving forward, do not sleep with him, call him, go at the very least into LIMITED CONTACT, preferable NO CONTACT for at least a couple months or more. And YOU can do it because you are strong, and deserve happiness, and that may just very well come from leaving him behind - but you won't know it until you do it.

 

And you also have to think of YOU....in this case, if he tells you he does not love you - do you not think you want to be with someone whom DOES?

[Jut]

I know, expect the worst, hope for the best

 

HEartbroken,

Let me rephrase your line. PREPARE for the worst and hope for the best. He has unresolved feelings for you but that doesnt mean he can make you hang around for 4 months and then say bye. Both of you were USED to and CONFORTABLE with each other and now he is saying those things to feel confortable and you are accepting those for the same reason.

Be strong, let him go,nothing wrong in asking him fopr a second chance but dont demean yourself when he starts playing. There will be someone else who will show you the love and respect you need. Give some time to yourself and you will see. Whenever you start thinking about him, tell your mind to stop, start thinking of something else, fantasize the guy in Desp Housewives or think about yourself not looking good , push yourself to eat and exercise. YOu will see the light very soon, just hold on and go NC.

[Lion-Guy]

Don't feel bad heartbroken84. I did the same thing and asked my EX for a second chance. After a week she said she still wasn't ready to try things again. I felt like she was stringing me along, so I told her today it was over.

 

Trust me you will feel so much better when you take control of the situation and put them out of your life. Then come back after you have cleared your head and see what you really want. Good luck.