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help me please i need my fix!


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another day passes and i am distraught lonely and crumbling inside..i need my fix..the one thing that made me happy! like a crack head i sit and torture myself for that fix...i need it. i really really miss it and i want it badly!! .i have been on it for almost 2 years..that warm feeling inside of pure bliss when my lips touch hers..when i smell her on my clothes and my pillow ... the smiles, the laughter and the good times ...now are all gone ! just a distant memory and i am left scurrying for answers... this is the cruelest form of addiction..now i know what heroin addicts have to go through in order to get clean...i must enter rehab.. no contact has to be implemented stearnly if there is any healing and rehababilitation to be done..you my friends are going through the same heavy withdrawal..how can a crack head get clean if some one continously dangles that smack in front of his face..think about how much more pain he would be going through if it was in front of him/her and they could not do anything to get at it.. what stupid and desperate things do you think they would do to get at it..its the same things for us . we need to stay away from our drug..i dont care how hard it is..i dont care how much pain you have...if you want to continously torture and punish yourself..keep making that call or keep sending that text..oh and when she calls make sure you pick up the phone so after you hang up..you think of that high that is no longer there..and then what..you are back in your depressed miserable state! you want to get clean..you want your life back..stay away like the plague...please people..i am going through a lot of pain but this time i am using my head..i know she is never coming back..thats the only way you have to think if you want to keep your sanity..SHE IS NEVER COMING BACK!!! so stop fooling yourselves...be strong stay away and stay clean

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I guess if they want a break you give it to them..but let them be..as hard as it is you have to..they asked for it...let them contact you..and when they do i would just wait a day or two to call them back...let them miss you..I personally have been both the dumpee and the dumper. so when a person asks for a break they are usually wanting out of the relationship. break means they will probably be dating some one else at the time..they are confused and not sure if you are the one, but they want to keep you around just in case they miss you or the other relationship does not work.. the only reason i would go on breaks would be so i could be with other girls..when it did not work i would run back to my ex..she was mu crutch. they want a break give it to them fully..and start preparing yourself .. do you want to be played like that..i know i dont. i dont want to be some ones crutch

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When he asked me for the break for 2 weeks, I asked if we are single during this time and he said No... That if he does meet someone he will say I have a gf but we are taking a break... We had been fighting a lot and he said he needed to take a break to re-charge his batteries that he felt he was getting to the end of his rope and unless he could re-charge there would be nomore "us" So.... We last spoke last Thursday. I txt 1 time fri and 1 time sat but then dropped it... no txting... no calls..... He asked for 2 weeks which will be next Thurs.... So you think I should prep myself for no call? or the call that syas I dont wana get back???

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only tme will tell...just let him contact you..if oyu guys have been fighting then maybe he did just need to cool off a bit....i am not a fortune teller..just a shmuck with a broken heart. so i really do not know if he is seeing some one or not...the only thing you can do now..i wish i had taken my own advice..is to play it cool..let him chase you for a while..we as humans always want what we cant have..if you keep harrasing him .. he will surely not respect you .. believe me..i gave myself entirely to this girl and i wish i did not..because once they have complete power over you. you minus well be done...TRUST ME. let him contact you..and when he does make sure to not pick up that phone. let him wait a day or two..put a little fear in his heart..hoyl crap why is she not picking up the phone..is she with some one..did i make a mistake by asking for this break..you get it? let the chase begin and let him rethink his actions

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only tme will tell...just let him contact you..if oyu guys have been fighting then maybe he did just need to cool off a bit....i am not a fortune teller..just a shmuck with a broken heart. so i really do not know if he is seeing some one or not...the only thing you can do now..i wish i had taken my own advice..is to play it cool..let him chase you for a while..we as humans always want what we cant have..if you keep harrasing him .. he will surely not respect you .. believe me..i gave myself entirely to this girl and i wish i did not..because once they have complete power over you. you minus well be done...TRUST ME. let him contact you..and when he does make sure to not pick up that phone. let him wait a day or two..put a little fear in his heart..hoyl crap why is she not picking up the phone..is she with some one..did i make a mistake by asking for this break..you get it? let the chase begin and let him rethink his actions

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Why does it seem like it HAS to be a game to work for me... I hate playing games. Why cant he just know how much I love him and miss him??? I WANT TO ANSWER... I look at my phone a lot... wishing he would just txt or call... I hate games and dont understand why a relationship with love Must include games...

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Sukerbut...

 

The drug analogy is so true. I even mentioned it to 'her' a couple of months that she was my drug.

 

Like you, Im in rehab... the shakes and shivers when I first started cold turkey are now subsiding. I had a couple of relapses... but I don't ever want to feel how I was feeling back then. NC all the way.

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i dont know why but today it is hitting me hard..real hard..i mean i have been very positive and i have been training and dieting real hard..feeling good about myself..but for some reason today i feel so empty..the worst part is that she calld me last week..and i picked up liek an idiot..she started of with "hey i was thinking about you and ihad some time toso i gave you a call" that was all a lie..she only wanted to know if i was going to a halloween party that she was going to .. i told her no..then i find out she invited her ex..that was the dagger in my heart..how can someone that was telling you 2 months ago..i love you and please dont break my heart...totally destroy you in so many ways. i guess these are the questions that circulate in all our heads..how can some one fall out of love with you so quickly...it just does not make any sense...and for you young lady..if you dont want it to be a game then it should not be...the only way to avoid the game is by letting go. and it does not sound like you are ready to do that...so you have to play it if oyu want any sort of chance to win ! man i really want my fix...it sucks so bad. at least i have blocked her out of my head as to what she is doing and whom she is doing it with..i feel very fortunate for that because having those thoughts drive you even more insane.

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Young lady... LOL

 

Ok, so now I ask? How do you stop thinking where they are, what they are doing, with who... I want to cry... Im at work and Its been a week w/no contact... He is supposed still be my bf and I have had him in my life for a yr with every day communication and now... nothing... JEEZ...

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OK now is the time to take control of yourself...its time to take a deep breathe and not panick...once again TRUST ME!!! thare is nothing you can do to make him return if he leaves..no magic spells..no proffesions of love it does not matter... and if he does return under those circumstance then he would just be using you as crutch..some one he knows will always be there like a puppy dog waitinmg for him .. i have been in both situations..my ex for 6 years was my crutch ..and she endured so much pain that i sometimes cant sleep at night thinking about it..then this new ex ..she was the master and i was the bitc h in the relationship..i would walk on egg shells as to not lose her..guess what she knew she had me..she had the power and i was helpless..once she realized this her attraction and love to me instantly turned off..and what was the final product..I LOST HER!! so the lesson learned was this..do not become some ones slave..fear is a turn off...so what if he breaks up with you..are you going to stop breathing..please .. the way i see it is that my ex does not deserve my love..she regected my love and me! its all about coming up on top!! i made an a ss of myself three weeks ago..and what did all that pleading and begging get me? it got me nothing. it actually made her descision final .. she was probably wow i am so lucky to have left this loser..so be the better person..take the pain and come out on top. dont make yourself look so small and so insignificant to someone whom is regecting you..once again it is not a good look. if the desciosion by him is made the result will be the same...i dont care what you say or do you will be the loser in this all the way...because believe you me once you put that phone down you are going to feel 100 times worst than you did before. Times like these you have to be strong and accept the facts. believe me i am really really hurting but this sight helped me out so much.

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Hey sukerbut.......you hit the nail on the head with your drug analogy!!! Boy I wish I had a friend like you to talk to on a consistant basis!!!! I need someone like you to talk to whenever I'm down......we have alot in common...young girls breaking our hearts....why are we bothering kids when we are all adults!!! Our girls (ex) have not even lived....that's my thinking...they will realize what they had and by then it will be too late because we will have been stronger and we will have already moved on!!! Then in a couple of years we all will look back and laugh at what we have been crying about!!! let me put it to you this way...you were 8-9 years older than your girl...that means when you were in College she was in freaking Grammer school!!!! I am in that same boat! It still hurts to get played!!! Love is a powerful emotion!!!

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What you can't get is what you want. I dont want the guys that are chasing me and the guys who always want me. Normally when my ex broke up with me I started calling him or he would call me after a week or so and we got back together again, but without any respect for eachother. This time I will NOT call him. It has been 3 weeks exactly since he broke up with me and 2,5 weeks of NC and everyday feels a little better. But I hate myself for thinking of us getting back together again after a while. I wish I could just accept that it's OVER for good, accept that he doesn't want me back again, and even if he wants me back again after a while, I should make up my mind and decide that it's over in my head!!! Why do I keep hoping?? I'm sure that in his mind it's over for good and I hate that. It's really really like a drug and I wish there was a pill or a surgery that could help me get rid of this guy and the thought and memories of him. How do I do and how am I supposed to think?

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tallie..yesterday i was having a bad day..a real bad day..the withdrawal simptoms were hitting me so hard at work that i was getting a fever..i had to take some customers out and i knew drinking would not be a ggod idea..but you know what? i decided before i left work that i am not going to let one person dictate they way i live my life..not only did i go out and have a great time..but i made new frineds as well..both female and male! baby this is our time to be FREE.. we should embrace it..see i have not been free for almost 10+ years .. i have had steady girls throughout that period of my life...i dont know what it means to be free.. there would always be a call i would have to make and someone that i would have to see...and now i dont have that..so at first any change (and this goes for everything) is not welcome.you are going to feel alone and empty..i sit in my apt sometimes and say holy crap whom am i going toi hang with (all my buds are married or engaged) what am i going to do tomorrow? and with whom? GUESS WHAT!! i am going to go out and be who i am .. agreat guy whom is going to go out there make new friends , network and better himself. before you know it..life is great agian i understand its diffrent , you are not used to it..but give it time and before you know it you might just like it and even embrace it....lets go people..its our time to find ourselves..that person that was lost shall be found in this bleak dark period of our lives.. we will not only get through this but become better because of it..the only person that can make this happen is YOU! SO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! get of your butt go to the gym pick a hobby ( nose picking is one of my favorites) getm out and start living your life..because guess what.. that other person that you are grieving for is not caring if you are home crying and feeling sorry for yourself they are out there living their life. i suggest you do the same

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tallie..yesterday i was having a bad day..a real bad day..the withdrawal simptoms were hitting me so hard at work that i was getting a fever..i had to take some customers out and i knew drinking would not be a ggod idea..but you know what? i decided before i left work that i am not going to let one person dictate they way i live my life..not only did i go out and have a great time..but i made new frineds as well..both female and male! baby this is our time to be FREE.. we should embrace it..see i have not been free for almost 10+ years .. i have had steady girls throughout that period of my life...i dont know what it means to be free.. there would always be a call i would have to make and someone that i would have to see...and now i dont have that..so at first any change (and this goes for everything) is not welcome.you are going to feel alone and empty..i sit in my apt sometimes and say holy crap whom am i going toi hang with (all my buds are married or engaged) what am i going to do tomorrow? and with whom? GUESS WHAT!! i am going to go out and be who i am .. agreat guy whom is going to go out there make new friends , network and better himself. before you know it..life is great agian i understand its diffrent , you are not used to it..but give it time and before you know it you might just like it and even embrace it....lets go people..its our time to find ourselves..that person that was lost shall be found in this bleak dark period of our lives.. we will not only get through this but become better because of it..the only person that can make this happen is YOU! SO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! get of your butt go to the gym pick a hobby ( nose picking is one of my favorites) getm out and start living your life..because guess what.. that other person that you are grieving for is not caring if you are home crying and feeling sorry for yourself they are out there living their life. i suggest you do the same

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tallie..yesterday i was having a bad day..a real bad day..the withdrawal simptoms were hitting me so hard at work that i was getting a fever..i had to take some customers out and i knew drinking would not be a ggod idea..but you know what? i decided before i left work that i am not going to let one person dictate they way i live my life..not only did i go out and have a great time..but i made new frineds as well..both female and male! baby this is our time to be FREE.. we should embrace it..see i have not been free for almost 10+ years .. i have had steady girls throughout that period of my life...i dont know what it means to be free.. there would always be a call i would have to make and someone that i would have to see...and now i dont have that..so at first any change (and this goes for everything) is not welcome.you are going to feel alone and empty..i sit in my apt sometimes and say holy crap whom am i going toi hang with (all my buds are married or engaged) what am i going to do tomorrow? and with whom? GUESS WHAT!! i am going to go out and be who i am .. agreat guy whom is going to go out there make new friends , network and better himself. before you know it..life is great agian i understand its diffrent , you are not used to it..but give it time and before you know it you might just like it and even embrace it....lets go people..its our time to find ourselves..that person that was lost shall be found in this bleak dark period of our lives.. we will not only get through this but become better because of it..the only person that can make this happen is YOU! SO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! get of your butt go to the gym pick a hobby ( nose picking is one of my favorites) getm out and start living your life..because guess what.. that other person that you are grieving for is not caring if you are home crying and feeling sorry for yourself they are out there living their life. i suggest you do the same

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I completely understand what everyone is saying. I have days where I feel liberated and days where I can't move. Days where I don't want to get out of bed yet I can't sleep. Days when my heart hurts to to the point I wish I could just take it out and set it aside somewhere, I'm sure without it I would be able to move on. But as it is I have to deal with not having my baby around, deal with the thoughts that she is with another guy, deal with the thoughts of losing someone who I can't see being replaced and feelings of her being the only one for me. How long does this last?

 

 

-MJ

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as long as YOU make it last...the past two days for me have been horrible..i even made the effort to return her phone call ..she called monday..she did not answer and i left a stupid message..that set me back a week or two of healing...just dont make the mistake i made..dont call .. believe me if she missed you and wanted to talk she would leave you messages..mine has moved on already..actually i think she had moved on before we even broke up ... i guess thats what bothers me the most...i dont visualize her with whomever i am just hurt that her love for me was not real..just a facade. i think thats what hurts thats the stinger..that we are here pooring our hearts out on this web site meanwhile they are out there care free..saying jeez thank god its over..i wonder whom i am going to go out with this weekend..good luck my frined

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