Updates on my story

[confusedashell]

Hi all!

 

Haven't been able to get to a computer much the last couple of months so thought I'd let you all know whats been happening with me and my "wife".

 

I told myself after we'd finished that I would try to fix things until the first time she came to the UK to visit our son. It was a mixed bag of emotions for that month. Yelling, screaming (at me!) and then days which seemed odd and she'd tell me things like she only ever wants me to no one. Still, in all this she kept up saying she was confused and just didnt know what she felt or even if she wanted to feel anything for me. After five weeks she came here and it was akward to say the least. I didnt want to try anymore. Just let it run its course. The first evening was just plain akward. But that night she was just staring at me and I asked if there was something on her mind and she said she still had feelings for me and wanted to work this out. I wasn't all that surprised but some of the things she said and her general attitdude to me the past two months make it damn hard for me to jump into this 100% and have the trust I had before.

 

We talked awhile and said ok we should fix this. Don't get me wrong here: this was more my fault that hers. I take responsibility for a lot of what happened but that doesnt excuse her words and actions either. The things she said and how she treated me the eight weeks after she ended it really hurt and really destroyed a lot of my confidence. She went on to explain that things just got too much, she felt liek she was suffocating with all the fights, my depression, money problems, stress etc. I told her I understood but that it could have been handled in a much better way. She apolgised and told me she loves me and just wants to fix it all.

 

She has been a little off though the last few weeks. There but not totally there I feel. Maybe she is and I'm just on 200% guard now and I'm reading too much into things. I dont know. Guess I'll have to see what happens. My son is going back to sweden next week and I'll spend a week there. Will see how it goes. My wife wants me to come home but I todl her I wasnt sure and just needed to stay away for awhile and get my head together. So I told her I'd return in late december.

 

I've just got a million issues with her now. Before I trusted her 200% and I felt really secure in our relationship (maybe thats not always a good thing - to feel TOO secure), but now, itsall gone. I do trust her but just not like before. It's going to take time. I'm making up for my mistakes and she has to make up for hers. Will see what the next couple of weeks bring.

 

Talk to you all soon!

[darkblue]

That's good progress confusedashell.

 

I don't think you would be sane to put 100% trust and confidence in getting back together just yet.

Issues must be sorted out and you know that.

 

I wish you the best of luck!