why am i feeling like this?

[uongy]

hey there guys and girls.hope you are all ok.i just wanted to ask some opinion on this.

 

first, let me explain the situation.i am at university at the moment(my first year)and its going great.made friends,had a laugh,had fun etc.one thing though,im slightly bothered that im not really attracting anyone.

 

thing is at university,most people are just out there for a laugh,not really thinking in terms of relationships etc at least it doesnt seem that way.personally,im very much a relationships man,and would never have a one-night stand if i could help it(part of the reason why i dont drink much).

 

ive been in love before and i can say despite all the difficulties and pain i endured,it was one of the best times of my life and i really want that again.

 

i guess i have a few self-esteem issues in that regard but im normally reasonably confident person.thing is, the other night,someone gave me hugs and cuddles and it felt SOOOO nice.i felt really loved and i miss feeling like that.i know that i should love myself for who i am but the problem is im not where i want to be right now in terms of who i am.maybe i just having matured enough yet.

 

yes, i know im still young and that and it may be too early for love.i would agree.but i feel like im missing something here.it would be so much easier if i just didnt care like the others and just saw the world with beer goggles lol.but that isnt me.i want to be in relationships,something that is meaningful.

 

i dont know,just tell me what you think.

[jna35]

It sounds to me like you are lonely and you want more than just a casual relationship.

[bobbb]

nothing wrong with how you are feeling. just take it slow and let the alcohol fill the void.

[Caldus]

lol don't listen to bobbb. Only going to make things worse in the long run.

 

Look, I've been going through the same thing you have for more than 2 years now. Except now I'm comfortable enough with my situation that I don't feel like I need something like that. At least you're making friends there. I'm not. The friends I do have never want to go out anywhere or always have to work. That leaves me stuck here in the apartment every Friday and Saturday night watching movies or something else while everyone else is out partying and networking with people. Just keep on meeting people like you are and keep enjoying your time at college. Stop treating relationships as something grand when in reality most end up failing. And the reason for that is that their motive for being in a relationship is like yours:

 

i know that i should love myself for who i am but the problem is im not where i want to be right now in terms of who i am.

 

Or something similar to what you said would be the motive for so many people to get into a relationship only to realize it fails so horribly because the person hasn't taken any time to let themselves grow as a person and become who they truly are. Work on yourself. Don't rely on others to do it for you, even for a temporary amount of time. That's ridiculous. I am pretty much self-sufficent and self-reliant now. I don't expect other people to complete me in any way anymore.

[suprema99]

Hey uongy, you just got to find the right girl for your personality. Don't feel pressured. It's tough to find a good match. Keep that in mind. Your looking quickly to the future. Relax and let what will happen, happen . goodluck

[ImInLove232]

Its normal to feel that way. Ive been there before. but feeling upset about it doesnt help, you have to do something about it. that doesnt mean you have to go and drink. but be at the right places at teh right time. hang out with your friends where you think is a casual easy place to talk to certain girls that have caught your eye. the perfect girl will talk to you, because she will be just like you. she will want a relationship. sometimes good things take patience. good luck

[uongy]

hey there guys thanks for the replies.i argee with you suprema,i think im lucky to have found love already(een if it did end ona sour note).as they say,better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all.but ordinarily,i would argee with you and caldus.

 

i am relaxed and chilled etc.just wish i had a girl who i could share my life with atm.a companion.......but i could have just gone with anyone for the sake of a relationship but im not.......i guess you would agree that is a good thing right?im doing the right thing there..........

 

i really cant pin point what is it that wants a relationship,i mean im self-sufficient and im not mega horny like some other guys i know(they are 18 to be fair).but yea.........can you help me pinpoint the problem?