question for the guys.....or anyone

[lovestinks]

I wasnt quite sure where to place this questions but.....

 

Do guys like a challange when it comes to getting a girl?? whats with all these games?? and this playing hard to get junk??? Do u like to work for a girl? do u like to play phone games and addtional things like that i just dont get it

[Tombo123]

Personally, I'm not a big fan of challenges - especially with girls.. It would have to depend what the girl's personality would be.. I know a few guys in my college course that would want it to be challenging when getting a girl, but to be honest, I don't understand why either.. I think it just depends on who they're going for..

 

Games? What do you mean by that? There's lots of different meanings, and to be precise is better when it comes to finding more information..

[DiscipleOfChange]

Personally, i do not like challenges. I think if a girl likes me, it would be nice of her to show it. I mean, I'm not saying I woouldn't work to develop a relationship with a girl, but it would be nice if she didn't make it difficult. If she feels the same, she shouldn't pretend otherwise

[DropToZero]

I somewhat like what you call games...but usually only in a dating scene...not in anything truly serious. If you mean by challenge, not always available, not always calling every day, not smothering me and has her own life.....yes, that's normal. Because even I myself do that, that's how dating should be, with a touch of self control and flirting to show interest, that's how I keep control of myself and know if a girl is interested in me. I do my best not to get in too deep too soon, and don't hang out with her 3-4 nites a week when dating...maybe 2 times a week at the most. I dont unload any feelings too soon, and I don't expect the girl to either. I myself want to be a challenge too in this sort, and if a girl is the same way, and I can go out with her, have a great time, be laughing, and she never becomes too 'easy' and makes me work some...that's a good date. I've only met a few select girls like that so far...some exhibit no self control and do play games, and that's not really attractive unless you're just desperate to get with the first girl that shows interest in you.

[hazlcha]

I was in a bookstore recently and I happened to notice a book I've never read, but heard of. It's called "The Rules," and it claims to show a girl how to hook the guy she wants into marriage. So far so good.

 

As I started to read it, I slowly got more and more infuriated. Yes, infuriated. I don't mind a little hard to get, although for me it is completely unnecessary, but some of the things in that book were simply rude. The one that most set me off was about not returning phone calls and making him call you more. It very well may be that a girl has lost me by habitually not returning phone calls. I didn't know it was part of the "rules" that the ladies who wrote that book seem to have established. I simply interpreted it as being rude and impolite. If someone leaves a message, you should return the call. Period. Hard to get and coy are all fine, but basic manners are imperative. A guy can be a challenge in not sharing his feelings and such too quickly, but a gentleman he must always be. Same goes for ladies, always be a decent human being first.

[jna35]

Personally, I don't believe in playing games. I think it's very immature and I assume quite frustrating for the persuer. Just my 2 cents.

[Miss M]

I didn't know it was part of the "rules" that the ladies who wrote that book seem to have established.

Those ladies haven't really "established" anything at all. There are scores of women who strongly disagree with that book, and have said so openly in many venues. Don't assume we women automatically jumped on that "rules" bandwagon. And if you don't like that kind of thing, just bypass the women who do.

[lovestinks]

ok intresting..........................it just seems like guys always want some kind of a challange or seomthing and its really annoying. if a guy asks if ur going to call him the next day to hang out and u say alright then why not answer?? or why even ask in the first place??? or why call some days and then dissappear for others??? why cant things be consistant, everythings a mystery.

[lifeiscash]

This is an interesting thread. To be honest, people want what they can't have.. or should I say, certain people. People play games because it adds that mystery and excitement/wonder to not knowing if you can "catch" the other person. However, taken to extremes or too often it can actually decrease your attraction level for someone because they feel like the other person is useless or they have already dealt with the games many times before (it gets old).

 

I myself have been exposed to the games that women play very often. I think that the experience that I had with all the games allowed me to have self control and not let my emotions influence who I am. For instance, today I found out my grandfather has passed away and have been feeling down but am managing. I told a certain girl that she should come over and watch a movie with me tonight and she accepted. She calls later and wakes me up from a nap and I told her I'll call her back so she can come over. I end up calling her back only to have her tell me that some guy friend of hers' went and picked her up and she is over there and she doesn't have a car. I mean, I'm not an idiot and certainly not stupid. So I didn't even make it a big deal but just said, "ok, thats fine.. i'll talk with you later". I even told her bout my grandfather. I mean I seriously don't want to deal with games after finding out my grandfather has passed away. If she really wanted to see me, she could have gone out of her way to do so.

 

After that I plan to not ever call her again or give her the time of day. Games are okay to play as long as they don't directly disrespect you. When you feel like you are being disrespected intentionally or not, then its best to stop dealing with it, and move on.

[Miss M]

ok intresting..........................it just seems like guys always want some kind of a challange or seomthing and its really annoying. if a guy asks if ur going to call him the next day to hang out and u say alright then why not answer?? or why even ask in the first place??? or why call some days and then dissappear for others??? why cant things be consistant, everythings a mystery.

One of the problems is that people who like to play games, (and "rules"... and mysteries and riddles) keep playing them with people who don't want to be involved with that type of thing. If game-players would just hang around with other game-players it would be much simpler for everyone. But it seems that some game-players especially like playing with those who aren't into games. I guess those game-players like that extra special challenge of trying to pull someone into a game who doesnt want to play. That's how they get their kicks. I'm just not at all into games, and at the first sign of that kind of thing I dump the person because I'd rather watch paint dry than be involved in a game.

 

Also, a lot of game-players aren't really interested in a relationship. They are only interested in the game, the game is the most exciting part of it for them. And consistency and relationships are a boring torture for them. I've even encountered game-players who convincingly pretend to be interested in consistency and meaningful long-term relationships. But all they are really doing is exploiting another person so they can have a little fun.

 

For instance, today I found out my grandfather has passed away and have been feeling down but am managing.

Lifeiscash, so sorry for your loss. And your explanation is the other reason we don't need game-players. They're only in it for themselves, and can't rise to take care of someone who needs a friend because that's often beyond their scope or ability. They're just not good in relationships.

[Dating Coach]

I don't believe in games or silly things like that. I think that when people talk about such things they really are only repeating what they have heard someone else say. As far as that book goes, I think it is a load of crap. It's a power play is what it is. Make him call you all of the time? It's a power play. It seems like it is trying to tell women that they need to hav the men groveling for their company before accepting them, and the problem with that is that women don't want a guy with no self respect or a backbone. You can't respect someone like that. So if you go by that rule and basically make the guy become a panzy then you are making him into a guy that you don't want. Sounds like a stupid book.

 

You don't need to play games and I would never condone such things. As far as being a challenge... it's more like "don't be a pushover" than "be a challenge". No one wants someone who is needy and clingy, someone who has no life of their own outside of trying to please their partner. So if you say "be a challenge" it should be more like, "get your own life and goals and start being concerned with yourself". I'm not talking about being selfish, but you should have goals and designs of your own, and having a partner is just an added bonus. Too many people think that having a relationship or to make a woman happy you simply have to give give give. That's not true. A partner wants another partner, not a slave. They want someone who loves them, but not someone who is not a whole person without them.

[sweetheart230]

I had someone play mind games with me. I bought into it. It turned me into a very insecure person. Then I started playing the game back. At first it made me feel empowered. But then I realized I didn't want to have this weird power over men just because I could manipulate them. Bottom line is, I want a man who likes me, not a man who likes the challenge.

 

Don't be too needy or clingy or too available; have your own life and interests. Be your own person. Don't think about things too much and dont' get emotionally invested in a person until you know them pretty well. Its not necessarily the challenge that most men want, it is the feeling that they have found someone special- someone who wants them and someone who is not desperate.

[Dating Coach]

I had someone play mind games with me. I bought into it. It turned me into a very insecure person. Then I started playing the game back. At first it made me feel empowered. But then I realized I didn't want to have this weird power over men just because I could manipulate them. Bottom line is, I want a man who likes me, not a man who likes the challenge.

 

Don't be too needy or clingy or too available; have your own life and interests. Be your own person. Don't think about things too much and dont' get emotionally invested in a person until you know them pretty well. Its not necessarily the challenge that most men want, it is the feeling that they have found someone special- someone who wants them and someone who is not desperate.

 

Wonderfully said!

[traz]

a little challenge can be fun, and help to keep a guy interested...but if you're sitting there thinking of ways to screw with a guys head, its just wrong ;p

 

As a general rule, the less challenge the better for me. If a girl isn't a huge challenge, I'll still like her. However if a girl is too much of a challenge, there is a very good chance I won't act on anything.