3 weeks, still in denial

[normal man]

Been 3 weeks and we have seen each other out a few times and she says it's awkward. We talked after she had many drinks, she shows feelings and says she cares but than just gets annoyed with me and wants to leave wherever we are out.

 

She emailed me today to let me know her grandfather was back in the hospital, but didnt return any of my calls to ask about details about the situation.

 

she's moving 45mins away in december and i guess she thinks it will be a new life for herself, with new friends and things to do and such. I have all the signs in front of my face that it's 100% over but i cant accept it.

 

When i saw her she didnt have her ring i gave her on. so the next day i emailed her when a girl at work asked if i was married when she saw me wearing a ring. I told my ex about it and she said she is glad i had it, and I said i didnt move on yet but you obviously did and she said no i took it off cause i was wearing gold. As you can tell im still reading into every little thing she says.

 

She doesnt seem to want to think about me with someone else, but still doesnt want us to work anything out. She said i cant change and thats just me. She said if i find another girl ill be godo for the first 6 months and than they'll realize how i am and leave. So she's basically telling me im not good for her or anyone else and that she wont be with me every again.

 

I still dont sleep good at night anymore, i always have her on my mind and i miss just having someone to call anytime i want when something happens to me and i want to talk to someone about it.

 

so any advice for a silly heartbroken fella that cant seem to get unhooked from this girl i loved so so much.

 

I know she loves me and cares but her avoidence just makes me feel she has no heart for me anymore

[Beec]

Well, I think you need to try and move on. Find stuff to do, keep busy, wear yourself out, get tired, be exhausted if you need to before you go to bed, read yourself to sleep.

 

And think about what she said. What went you, went wrong. It cannot be fixed quickly, but you don't have to make the same mistakes.

[BOBMUNZ]

I KNOW EXACTILLY WHAT YOU FEEL MAN, im going thru the exact same thing, it makes me feel better to know that the way i feel isnt just me being stupid, and i hope it makes you feel better too. and i too have been apart for almost the same amout of time (the only difference is that its my grandma in the hospital, and the ex isnt moving 45 min away, only about 10 min) im finding that the best thing to do is go no comunication for a bit, try as best as you can to get out and see other ppl (not date necisarilly but see your friends) and if you have the same group of friends as ur ex like i do, just go out and do your best to ignore her, the more you think about it the worse it is going to make you feel, if you see her partyin and she is into another guy, just IGNORE IT, i know you will feel jelious, because thats how i feel when i see it. it makes me feel like crap inside. but you need to understand the reason she is going and doing things like that, is most likely cuz she is trying to ignore get the situation off her mind. i dont think she is that heartless, girls are just complex ppl lol

 

Try not to read into everything, thats what i have been doing, and im finding that i am just over analyzing everything, there isnt as much meaning in her words as you may think.

 

As far as the not sleeping thing goes, i dont know what i can say about that, for me when im sleeping is when my mind works the most, so its hard, just try listening to music while laying in bed (not depressing music tho) i find that works for me, and the better you know the songs the better, cuz when you find you cant pay attention to them anymore, you know your body is ready to sleep, and it keeps your mind off the girl

 

as far as things being akward, just do your best to act like nothing is wrong, BUT, dont feel bad letting her know everynow and again how you feel, cuz you dont want her to be getting the same messages that you seem to be getting from her, if you just act like urself, like the person that you where when you first got together, things will loosen up, and hopefully it will work out

 

if you have any questions about what i said just let me know, im not thinkin strait right now, im low on sleep with exams lately lol

hope i helped at least a bit

[heloladies21]

Well I know I gave you this advice before, but No Contact would be best for you. But if you're not strong enough to do it yet (which I suspect) don't hold anything back. Tell her you want to get back together with her whenever it pops up in your mind. Just call her and tell her. It won't bring her back,but you will distance yourself to the point where NC will seem like the right thing for you to do.

 

There's better out there for you buddy. Just waiting for you.

[normal man]

yeah i do think of my mistakes and that i wont make em in the future with whoever i end up with, her or someone else.

 

Ive been through this before in the past with another woman and fixed my mistakes from that relationship but some of the things came back into this relationship. Sometimes it really is hard to change yaself.

 

While i dont think i can keep me on the thought im about to say, for now it helps....I feel that mayeb i deserve someone who will understand im caring and do love them and they'll stick by me through all my rough moments. Granted my ex did stay by my side and she is a great woman and girlfriend, but she deserted me while I was at my lowest. Maybe i pushed her away by not showing her I cared so much for her, and only focused on myself with showing how depressed i was and how unhappy i was because i was out of work for a coupel months and seemed to not be getting my stuff together, so me unhappy and acting towards her in turn mad her unhappy and eventually left me.

 

My depression during the relationship came when i graduated in May and couldnt find work, I feel into a bad self-esteem part of my life where the pressure was on me to find something to do as a career by family, friends and everyone else i was in contact with.

 

I now have a job and am starting to get happy again, but she is missing. I miss having her to call when something bad or good or exciting goes on in my day and i just want someone to talk to that will listen. You cant get that anywhere else other than from a good girlfriend. I faulted her on that mysefl though, because she use to call and i would rush her off the phone and never sound excited.....I shouldnt be in denial cause i know what i did wrong and it hurts to think of it all now after she is left. She is so right when she said it is too late for me to realize all this stuff....if only i could turn back the clock and realize how i started to act towards the girl i loved, all because i was down on myself. She didnt deserve my bad attitude and pushing her away, so i have no one to blame but myself.

 

If anyone read this entire post, give me some advice as to whats next after you realize your mistakes and that you cant fix these mistakes with your ex, and that they are lost from you forever....

[BOBMUNZ]

dont blame yourself compleatly for this, (its weird the more you talk about it the more i realize its the exact same as my situation) if she was the "one" then she wouldnt have let you push her away, she would have seen you were in a bad spot in your life, and done everything she could to be there for you, to help you get back on your feet, im not sayin she is a bad person for not doing that, im just saying that you two just werent ment to be. sorry dude, i have had to realize that too with my situation

[normal man]

no doubt guys, i hear everyone one of you and i'm trying my hardest. My feelings for her are their either way but the thing that makes it so difficult is that she really is a gorgeous girl and im not just saying that cause she was my girlfriend. What I mean is that it hurts more to know that she is approached many times a day with many opportunties by decent and well to do guys. So this adds to my fears that i lost her now.

 

I'll try to keep strong.

 

I actually seem to be doing better day by day atleast, time will heal me eventually. I guess if she doesnt come back than she wasnt the 'one' as I thought and her move 45mins away will be good for me cause i wont have to see her. "out of sight,out of mind' i'll just have to deal with wondering what she is up to, but that will fade in time aswell.

 

My door has been closed, and im in search for that one that recently opened for me. Hopefully i wont be blinded by this to see it. Weather that door is something good in my life not nessicerly a woman....I dont need another woman right now, I need myself or her...if i cant have her i need my own time.

 

thanks for listening guys.