Concerns about NC....anybody got answers?

[Billster240]

My main concern is whether or not NC applies to my situation or not. Most posts I read are in regards to folks being ex-boy friends or ex-girlfriends. Well in my case we never had that......we were aspiring to be that. We had an un believable first month together, but than my ex reared her ugly head and caused some drama making the future hopeful take a step back. This is when she had told me that she still loved me and wanted thier to be an "us", but I need to take care of my past with regards to my ex....meaning finalize things with her ect. She wants me to find out who I am without her so as that we can start things with a clean slate.

 

Since then contact has been minimal. I work with her so we still have a blast goofing around at work and whatnot (as well as some good conversation). But that's pretty much it....no e-mails, no phone calls (well a few, but short and sweet), and no hanging out after work.

 

My question is this......regarding our situation....even though she has asked for space, is it ok for me to be reassured that she does still indeed want things to pick up again. I mean....she tells me she still means everything she said in her e-mails and everything she has ever said to me in person and I truky believe she means that (I can't see what with the unreal start that we had and all the things she said...that she could just forget about it all)....so I have that to go on. Am I just over analyzing things and worrying too damn much.

 

Should I just step back and let things progress how they may. I have discussed this situation to half a dozen females and they al question as to what my worries are. It simply sounds like she was a bit intimidated by my past, wants to make certain of a couple things, make sure I take care of what I need to....and then things will commmence.

 

Discuss

[polaris]

Well nine times out of ten, when someone asks for space, it's the beginning of the end, or in fact quite near the end of the end. However, in your case, I genuinely think it's the one time out of ten when she really means what she says, wants you to remove the ex from the scene once and for all and assure yourself and her that she's really history, and then things can be resumed between you two. From your description, I think she does still want to be with you as much as ever, she just wants things to get off to a rather more stable beginning.

[Billster240]

Thanks for the reply Polaris......I was wondering why nobody posted an answer, but after reading my post over a few times, it seemed I answered my own question.

 

That and I have talked to a few females about this telling them every last detail and they too have all said that it seems she just needs some time to step back as well as to allow ot me "take care of my sh*t" (in her words...haha) and then things will move on from there.

 

She has told me over and over again that I made her realize that how well a man can trrat a woman (due to her being scarred in her last relationship) and that I give her so many things she has never had before in a guy....so.....in the end....I know she doesn't want to throw that away. We had only just begun....*sigh.....in due time I suppose.

 

-Bill