athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 This guy my girlfriend works with got her to smoke weed a couple weeks ago so now she smokes with him every monday after they get off work. he called her tonight to smoke with him after he gets off at like 10 or whatever. I keep telling her not to and all this stuff but shes like im not telling you anything anymore you use it against me blah blah blah. the kid was hitting on her grabbing her boobs and her butt and everything but yet she forgives him for everything and she smokes weed with him even though last time he tried to get her to have sex. that's the only reason he's doing this i guarauntee, i said that but shes like dont judge someone you dont know. i dont know what to do. Link to comment
pizzachick13 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 1. Get the police onto him 2. Get her into rehab I don't know if it's that serious but that would be my advice. Good luck Sappho... Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 well shed be pretty pissed if i got her new friend arrested and shes not a drug addict, she may be doing it for stress because I think shes overworked due to midterms in college. but i could be wrong. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 You need to give her an ultimatum. That behaviour is disrespectful of you and not what you would expect of someone in a committed relationship. She stops seeing this guy or she stops going out with you. It is then up to her to choose what she wants to do. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 very true, but the fact that she basically said shes not telling me what shes doing anymore is sort of disturbing.. Link to comment
pizzachick13 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Melrich is right... give her an ultimatum. Sappho... Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 well I did email her a nice long email, i can post it here if you want to Link to comment
melrich Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Sure, the members will give you feedback on it. Link to comment
pizzachick13 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Sounds like a good idea. But really she shouldn't have gotten messed up with that stuff anyways. Pot may been seen at a "soft" drug, but it's still addicitve, ilegal, and it really screws with your mind. Sappho... Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 ok here's what I sent her ____________________________________________ Ash, Look i know you don't care but i really don't agree with you smoking with that kid. ive done it enough, and i know that when you're high enough you dont think about anything. or the concequences for anything. i dont want you doing anything youre going to regret, or going home with bloodshot eyes in front of your parents and smelling like it. im not nagging or being obsessive, im being your boyfriend and that's what im supposed to do look out and worry about my baby and how i dont want anything to happen to her. i mean baby this kid was grabbing you the first day you worked there you were about to quit over him. i just don't see how you jump to this so fast. if its because of you being stressed out, there's other ways than drugs baby. its illegal for a reason anyway. i know youll do what you want but im just putting in my 2 cents, however much its worth to you. I love you baby i dont want you going down the wrong path. i see some of the people around here that smoke all the time, like a lot of JJ's friends and theyre so airheaded it isnt even funny i dont want you to end up that way. idc if you hang out with him but just smoking with him is just weird. and dont say i dont trust you because you know i do baby. however much this means to you just consider it please Ashley. it would really mean a lot to me if you stop, and not just say youre going to stop and do what you said, not tell me anything but actually stop. I cant stop you from getting pissed at me from this but as long as it has some impact on you ill be happy i helped in some way. just please stop baby, for me. I love you, Adam Link to comment
pizzachick13 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 That's really great, I hope she listens. Sappho... Link to comment
DN Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I hope she does as well. But if she does not you may be wise to think about whether you want her as a girlfriend. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 yeah I know its hard to think about that though because of how into me that she is. but if shes so much in love with me as she says, why isn't she listening to me... Link to comment
Eb0la Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 It sounds to me like she really doesnt want this new found male friend to go away.. she finds something in him appealing... I wouldnt trust the whole situation if I were you.. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 ok so I talked to her and she went to tell him that shes not smoking with him tonight. i tried to get her to promise not to smoke anymore and she said she cant promise but she promises not to do it alone with him ever. its progress but still not what I want. I'm talking to her right now. Link to comment
byates5637 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Whoa....all you marijuana haters need to chill out. I have smoked weed regularly for years and it has not done me any harm (except a little bit to my lungs...) I am a 4.0 engineering student. I have plenty of friends and am still very close to my family. And over this summer i quit smoking weed for 4 months. It was easy to quit...no withdrawel. Marijuana is not addictive. people just do it alot because it is fun...like how some people like to play sports alot of some people like to read alot. Marijuana is not the problem here. The problem is your girlfriend is being touched and hit on by another guy and she doesn't seem to mind it or respect your wishes for her not to. I agree that you should give her an ultimatum. But give her an ultimatum regarding her being alone with this guy....not one regarding her smoking pot. Just because something is illegal doesnt mean it's wrong. You cant let the government set your morals and standards for you. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 ok so I finished talking to her online and I brought the issue again and shes like im not arguing about it bye and signs off. this kid gets off at 10 and she got off around 9:45... so i wonder where shes going. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Who cares if you got her "new friend" arrested (since when is he a "friend" hes taking advantage of her ) its just showing you care for her in the end anyway. Well yeah, just call the cops and tell 'em about this guy and tell them he has possesion of marijuana and yeah. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Pot may been seen at a "soft" drug, but it's still addicitve, ilegal, and it really screws with your mind. I agree. byates, still if you can think about it, its really screwing with your head. What do you think produces the high? It's killing brain cells your smoking chemicals, fertilizer, who knows, the drug smuggler in Columbia could have just itched his balls in the hot weather and dripped it into your shipment LOL, you don't know for sure who's hands have touched it outside of the U.S. unless of course you grow your own but whatever. Thank god pot isn't legal in America, we'd all be living like hippies if it were and America would be in more of a mess than it is today. Here's a link about pot: link removed People that hope to go to college, don't give in to peer pressure, I have friends and relatives that are stoners, and are seriously stupid as hell, and their lives are already messed up. Oh yeah and that thing about pot being a "gateway drug" is true, I have a friend that does cocaine and there's some people I've heard that are already into heroin and meth . If you care about your life don't do dope. Oh yeah and a really common excuse for people that are stoners, they do it because they need to "clear things that are on their mind" when in the end it really makes their life miserable over time. Some people that are famous for this stupidity are the emo kids and the goths, and the people that feel they need to rebel (really strict parents, feels like they're lives are lacking, no friends, etc.). Oh yeah and I wasn't saying all emo kids and goths do dope. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Well dude, I think you should dump her, honestly I think she's going for this guy because your boring her with the relationship or something. I mean why else wouldn't she care about your opinion? Yeah man, I think its time to break up. Well break up now, or you could do it later and feel the pain for longer, your choice. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 nevermind she didn't go i just got off the phone with her for an hour talking about it. i put too much pressure on her and every guy she mentioned i acted weird about. that concequently pushed her away and made her say this: "i was thinking about taking a break from you if i was guaruanteed to have you back." i realize now that she was drifting away from me becuase of what i did. my message to everyone, let your S.O. live their own life. you never know when youll end up in my situation. Link to comment
Jinx Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I keep telling her not to and all this stuff but shes like im not telling you anything anymore you use it against me blah blah blah. Sounds like she is having a temper tantrum because she knows she is wrong to be doing as she is. the kid was hitting on her grabbing her boobs and her butt and everything but yet she forgives him for everything and she smokes weed with him even though last time he tried to get her to have sex Call me a jealous type if you so wish, but if I had a partner whom was being openly groped AND forgave each incident I have this feeling I'd be livid. Seriously, aside of being high (if he even was at this point), if she didn't care for it and was displeased she wouldn't allow it, wouldn't forgive it, and most certainly wouldn't be smoking Marijuana alone with him. If I were in this situation I'd be gone. She isn't respecting you in any shape or form. By her responses she knows its wrong. Its wrong but she has no emotion to show she has anything against it. What does it say about her commitment? Nothing good. If she doesn't consider your requests and reasoning now, what makes one think she'll improve over the next three four months either. Probably be worse until a break up occurs. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 (she never did it alone with him) we talked and she said she wont anymore and she didnt go today with him she went in and told him shes not becuase i dont approve of it. we talked for a good hour today. I know it is my fault becuase i was pushing and pushing, and that pushed her away from me. Link to comment
athomas Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 probably also should have mentioned we live 120 miles apart and see eachother twice a month Link to comment
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