what is going on? i need advice.

[plasticheartsandsmiles]

my ex broke up with me about eight months ago because i didnt treat him the way he should be treated. i was selfish and made him think that i didnt care about him when i did. since then, for about the past two months, we've been hanging out at least 4 days a week and we talk a lot. he knows that i care about him a lot still and he says that he also cares about me and that theres more to it than that but right now he's scared to say too much. it basically feels like we're dating yet we're not because we spend all our free time together. since he knows how i feel and that i want to get back with him, do you think he would be hanging out with me so much only to hurt me by telling me he doesnt wanna get back with me in the end? he's not a liar or someone who would intentionally upset me. i just dont know what he is thinking.

 

also, can anyone give me tips on SHOWING him that i care for him? i tell him all the time but i want him to see it through my actions.

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT MIGHT BE GOING ON?

[Beec]

Well, it sounds like he is on the road you want him to be. I think he knwos you care, so don't worry so much about it.

 

I also think spending all your time with him could be a deterrent to him committing to saying you are a couple. Goes with the idea of we want what we cannot have. If you let him get thte idea that maybe he might not be able tog et you at any time he wants, he would probably be more inclined to jump at the chance.

 

Be careful about this. Don't rush off and flirt with another man in front of him for an hour. You can say hello and do it for ten second in front of him, but not much. It probably would not require much. Just a bit more aloof and independent, and just do that from time to time. In other words, say you do something else with your free time two days a week. Suddenly, he may be missing you or your attention and want you to committ to him. It could be as simple as ignoring him just a bit when you are together. Then when he is trying to get your attention, wait a bit, and give him some. Overtime, increase it a bit as he repsonds, and vary things at all times. Don't get in a rut.

[nataliejulie]

Sounds like he wants to take things slow right now. My ex is / was doing the same thing for a little while till we decided that "what we are doing" is just taking our time and seeing how things work out between us.

 

However, I'm not exactly sure of your situation. Has he said anything else besides he misses you? Have you two acting like a couple but not a couple? Have you talked to him about your feelings on this and what you two are doing?

[katie_emma]

Have you talked to him about what's going on!?

 

I think a talk would be the best idea... because if he's not into dating you, and being with you... then maybe you need to move on and find someone who is !

 

But if he is, then you two can get on with it... and decide where things are going.

 

You cant sit around wondering whats going on your whole life. Ask him