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No big "O" anymore?


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My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and have a beautiful baby boy together. However, things aren't great in the bedroom department. Don't get me wrong, they used to be. How do you think we got our son? O Anyway, I rarely have an orgasm through just sex(don't look at me like i'm weird i know alot of you gals AND guy's girlfriends are like that - it's just a woman thing). BUT, usually through oral or hand stimulation it'd be just as good. Lately it seems like it takes forever, i feel so bad for this guy. He just keeps going and going try to please me(yeah i know i'm lucky, lol). Sometimes I just tell him to forget it and move onto him. What is going on!? I feel bad for him, but i also feel bad for myself cause i know i'm obviously missing out. Our son just turned 7 months old and i'm thinking that has alot to do with it that i'm just worn out from him all day and work. But sheesh! I'm only 20, the whole "down hill" thing isn't supposed to happen yet is it?

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Hello

 

It's all uphill from here I would say. Because it is all about one word, and the word is called "Passion" and when you lose that you really do have a problem. Remember it is all a frame of mind !

 

When the flame goes out, just find a way to light it back again.

Your a lady, get a little creative.

 

good Luck

 

Kuhl

 

8)

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Thanks Kuhl..

I guess i really didn't think of it that way, but you're right. Things have slowly died down some, but it's more of the "puppy love/teenage" stuff. The passion is still there, I still love to be with him, just having him hold me and spending the quality intimate time together. But yeah, it probly wouldn't hurt if i eased up some and just enjoy things a little more and "brainstorm"

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You may also want to consult a doctor - it is possible your hormones are still a bit out of whack from pregnancy.

 

However, also keep in mind stress, fatigue, lack of emotional fulfillment, passion ALL will affect your ability to orgasm - as well as the fact that the harder you try to have one, the harder it is to have one! So...just enjoy the moment...and it may help too.

 

And don't feel guilty about taking forever, I think anxiety over how long you are taking will ALSO be reducing your ability to get there.

 

Also do look at the relationship - sex and orgasms are at least 90% mental. If you are not feeling satisfied in the relationship, the sex can be less fun as well.

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Your little boy is beautiful (i assume that is him in the photo?)

 

Also do look at the relationship - sex and orgasms are at least 90% mental.

 

This is so true. When my partner and I had our first baby she was the same way. we talked about it after a while and we sort of worked out that she was finding it hard to relax because she didn't like the thought of sex with the new baby being in the house. She somehow felt it was wrong.

 

I don't know if that has anything to do with your situation but whatever I ams ure it is just that you are a little "off" mentally. Maybe hormones or stress as RayKay says.

 

Anyway we are fine now and I am sure you will be too. Just talk it through and and work out a way to get yourself relaxed and focussed on yourself rather than the baby for a short time.

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I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the advice. The fact of the matter is i almost feel stupid for posting it now. I guess it was just something that was bothering me, but like you all said, thats half the problem. That and we rarely get time alone together so yeah, there is awkwardness of the baby being there and tension mentally on my part. I think having a talk with my boyfriend about how i'm feeling would be a good idea and maybe help him understand. Thanks again everyone.

 

And melrich, yep thats our baby and thanks

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  • 2 weeks later...

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