This can't be happening again! Please help

[StandTall]

Wow, where to start? I can't believe I'm finding my self crying again after seemingly being happy for a while now. I met someone, and we have dated for the last 3 months. I was coming off of a really crappy relationship with someone who worked way too much and made me feel last on her priority list. I have been very happy with my current girlfriend up until this point. I knew she worked quite a few hours when I met her, but she played it down. Now that we have been dating, the travel has been unbearable, and I feel as if it drives me to be very needy. We had plans tonight, and she has told me she isn't feeling well- She has been nausious all week. I have tried to be understanding, and even offered to cancel our plans of going out and coming to stay with her. Of course she doesn't want me there while she is feeling sick. I can count the days on one hand we will get to see eachother this month, and I wanted to see her tonight even if she wasn't feeling well. I have been very patient in giving her space, but I find myself placing someone else's needs before mine once again. She really does have a good heart, and I feel good when I am with her. I really don't know what to do, but it is Saturday night and I am a wreck. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

[DropToZero]

I don't really have any advice....just would like to say your situation's not really the worst, b/c in a way I'm kinda feeling exactly like you. I don't know what you want, but may as well say I relate. At least you didn't 'think' the girl you're dating was actually going to become more serious with you the 2nd time around, and then tonite she's off at a dance with someone else and blowing me off...ever heard the saying 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'? Cause I'm not going in a third time....sorry to kinda take over, I need to vent sorta, but I don't really wanna start another post and you seem to have a similar situation in wanting to really see someone and they don't want to see you lately.

 

If anything, and you're like me, I'm out to party tho, that's about the only way to keep my mind preoccupied and off of her, and that doesn't always work the best, but it's about all the advice I can give.

[heloladies21]

Dude, relax, call up some friends and hang out with them. Stop overreacting. She's sick and you don't want to aggrivate her right now.

[winkie]

Listen.....before this relationship can work with this girl you need to work on yourself. There is nothing wrong wanting to hang out with someone, but you have to have a life. If she does not want to hang out, you need to be able to be ok by yourself or ok with going out with friends. You need to improve your self-esteem or else u may ruin this relationship if it is going somewhere. Be strong and know that not everyone is like your last relationship...and if she is then you cannot do anything to change that..no matter how upset you get. You need to take a step back and a deep breath.

[StandTall]

I hear what you are saying about self-esteem, and I know I have a good deal of neediness about me. I am trying to work on that. I simply called back, told her that I hope she feels better, and to call me tomorrow. I just took a Xanax which I never do, and want to put this day to rest.

[winkie]

Oh please do not rely on medication to make you feel better...you need to work from within. Right now you are only masking the pain. Good Luck if anything send me a msg.

[StandTall]

I just always jump to the worst conclusion- It is Saturday night, and I'm being blown off. We have plans today, and I'm hopeful she is feeling better and doesn't cancel those. It took me so long to get over this before, and I hope I'm not returning to where I've been. I seem to have someone who really cares about me, but is quite busy- I don't want to blow it.

[winkie]

You need to be able to do things on your own. STOP looking to someone else to feel happy. Have you ever thought about talking to her about this, maybe she can ease your mind.

[StandTall]

Things still seem to be somewhat new, and I'm not sure if she wants to hear that I am co-dependent. I am working on being my own person, but I have ruined things before and I want to make changes. I just seem to be attracted to very independent women, and I'm not sure if that is the best match for me.

[winkie]

In relationships, that usually evens things out. Maybe you should not be in a relationship until you are over all of your insecurities from your previous troubled relationship. You should be happy you have an independent women. If you work together you will be a very strong pair. BUT you need to work together and not separate, if it is new she maybe the type of person who also needs down time or alone time. My Husband and I, never have time to spend together it seems. We are such hard workers, but when we do it is very special and we get along great because we are not on each other constantly.