social stigma

[needtochange]

I hate to admit this but I need to know other peoples thoughts on this. I am still a virgin and will soon be 24, M. I can't help being ashamed of this. I have social anxiety, unlike a lot of people that suffer from this it doesn't stop me from going to pubs/clubs I just don't find them enjoyable, because of this I go because I want to be socialable. I'm sick of other blokes talking about things like how many women they've had sex with, one night stands, that kind of thing. I just don't know what to say and feel depressed/ashamed of having no experience. The thing is I am not the sort of person that wants to sleep around (how can I say this if I've never done it so don't know what its like!?). The thing is I could get sex as there is someone that likes me but I don't find her attractive. I am just afraid that I'm gonna be a virgin for ever unless I have a one night stand or date somone I don't find attractive. I think that many people would agree with me that I want my first time to be with a girlfriend who I care for. Anyone else have this kind of thoughts?

[Glorie]

Do what feels right to you. I appreciated the fact that my fiance hadn't been with a slew of women before me. Sex isn't something to be taken lightly; it means nothing if it's just a physical act.

[TheDMan05]

I have the same toughts myself. But I don't let them bother me because I know that I am better than those people that sleep around and have one night stands. I also know that, even though I am extremely shy, one day I will meet someone that I can get close to. Whether I'm 30 or 40 by then doesn't matter, as long as I don't stoop to the level of people who would sleep with anything that moves, because they're DESPERATE for sex. By this I meen anyone that sleeps around because, in my opinion, they are all desperate.

 

As for this 'someone' that likes you, go and talk to her. Even if you think she is unnatractive. It will give you the experience and the confidence to talk to people you do find attractive.

[BellaDonna]

I'm sick of other blokes talking about things like how many women they've had sex with, one night stands, that kind of thing. I just don't know what to say and feel depressed/ashamed of having no experience.

 

If they pressure you for info, or try to get you to talk like pigs as they do- just say "Sorry, I have class. I choose not to talk about my personal business like that."

 

If they need to brag- they're trying to prove something to themselves. I'll bet you half of what they claim is not even true. And if it is true, then by probability alone they are likely to be the ones who contract some kind of sexually transmitted disease later... Condoms do not protect against everything. I wonder if they'll brag when they contract something fun like pubic lice. Or maybe they'll be home itching instead.

 

Be happy that you take care of yourself and you don't see sex as something physcially and emotionally disposable. Any woman would respect and admire that. Don't just have sex for the sake of doing it...if it's special it will mean so much more. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

BellaDonna

[Caterina]

Why do you care so much about what they think? I will probably be a virgin until I am thirty, and I don't really care what people assume by that...

[muscle militia]

Anybody can get sex. But that isnt the point is it. There are plenty bent, broken and damaged that will give'emselves away for that false warmth of being wanted. Virginity vs a 'knee-trembler' by the bins? No contest.

Sex is just sex, often pointless and stained with regret. If you have waited then you already know what you want. I know I will sound like a goose, but there is sex & Making LOVE. Trust me I have had both:

Sex is like a tasteless, cheap, quick burger from McDonalds. Everywhere and leaves no lasting impression. When have you ever heard "Wow, back in 01 we went for a beautiful Mcdonalds - it was amazing"? Making love is like going to a fantastic restaurant, it can surprise you, the atmosphere - the whole feckin majesty of the night. The food lasts for ever, conversation flows…time stands still. You will never forget a night like that. Never forget that restaurant.

There is nothing wrong for waiting to meet a woman that will make you stop and listen to what she has to say. A woman who will make my jaw drop in awe. A woman that has time for you. One who respects herself who has a sense of herself. A woman that if you only had a last breath her name would be on your lips. If you are waiting - you have my utmost respect. I wish I never had my 'Black years' of everything pointless and destruction. i wish I was as strong as you.

 

guys who go on & on about sex are full of it, there fables are 8% fact at most. My response is to em "I'm just as interested in your sex life as I'm interested in staring at a bucket of crap for thirty years. I'm falling asleep already. Somewhere, someone isn't impressed by your looks. Not all women jump through the hoops of your fire. You're unbelievably boring to more people than you'll ever know."

Basically, men are afraid of women and can't handle the fact that they came out of the same thing they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back into.

[thefireisoutanyway]

 

At least you HAVE someone who likes you.

 

You should go see "The Forty Year Old Virgin."

 

Virgins rule~ (or not)

[heloladies21]

I'm going to pm you a site on how to get girls. It'll help you.

[Miss M]

Muscle Militia, really, really loved reading your post. And of course you did not sound like a goose. Thanks

 

 

Needtochange, here's another relevant thread on this topic.

link removed

[Jaela]

Basically, men are afraid of women and can't handle the fact that they came out of the same thing they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back into.

 

LOL! Oh the ironies of life.