scorchio Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Hi all, Just a quick question or advice needed. From previous posts you may know my story, been split up for 5 1/2months now, Ive being doing N/C for about 4months ish, strong with the N/C, it is helping me, all said and done tho miss my ex and her daughter and would love that text or call out of blue etc etc bla bla bla LOL. MY QUESTION IS, NEED ADVICE Its her birthday on monday, SHOULD I SEND HER A CARD, im not sure !!!!!! my birthday is in December and my gut instinct tells me that she probably wouldnt send me a card !!!! What should I do any advice I do miss her and her daughter Link to comment
darkblue Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 she probably wouldnt send me a card !!!! Should you send a card - No. Link to comment
hk87 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I think you should. I sent one to my ex, but we had parted on good terms, although we were kinda of doing NC subconsiously! It helped us get on together as friends easier. He never sent me a card on my birthday, but I got a text. Go with your gut instinct! Hk87 Link to comment
Echo Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Normally Scorchio I would say not to bother with a card or anything.... but you have been so diligent with NC..and it seems you need SOME closure..so I would say send her a card. Just do it with NO expectations. I bet she'll be flattered you remembered.... Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Come on man, she forgot about you a long time ago. No card. Talk to some other girls instead. Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 doesent mean she has forgot about me she is human after all well just lol Link to comment
NottageHill Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I would personally not send one. It makes it harder. My first relationship with my ex from highschool was 3yrs. We split up and the first few months was the hardest as I was still seeing her or talking to her. After I decided N/C on the situation, it was still hard, but gradually got better. And on the day of her birthday that year, I wanted to buy her some gift and send her an hbday card. But a good friend told me not to and since then it has been really good. I am dating someone, she i am sure is also dating someone as well. We dont see each other anymore, and it was mostly my decision. She can handle it very well but I have emotional problems and lots of things run through my heads when we were still talking on phone or using messengers. Until you are sure that you wont have any emotions running back and forth in your head telling you that this could happen or that could happen. And until you are sure that you already moved on, i suggest you follow through with your N/C. Link to comment
coooolsome Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I would say you could send a card but the thing is I think that you are hoping for a response. If you dont get the response then you will be hurt even more. If you could handle the situation I would say yes, it shows that you care. But are you ready for the consequences. Now there are 3 things that could occur. 1. She doesnt respond. Could you handle that. I guess at least it would give you some closure. Basically she is saying "I dont give a sh*t about you" You dont want to be with a person like that. 2. She responds with a thank you but you never hear from her again. 3. She responds with a thank you and you two start talking again. Do you think you are emotionally ready to talk to her without letting your emotions get the best of you. Basically, let say you two start talking again, and you start analyzing everything she says. You are not healed. This will not be good for you. Maybe you say some things you will later regret. She is going to be glad she ended it with you b/c you cant let go and move on. You are the only one that can decide whether or not to send the card. I have read many posts where its basically a 50/50 shot. Some people say send, some say don't. You have to decide whether you are emotionally ready to send her the card and face the consequences. My honest opinion is that I dont think you are ready. However this is from reading your posts. I think that you shouldnt. Hell it might be a good thing b/c if she is expecting you to do something and you don't then that might get her thinking. THIS IS AN ASSUMPTION. Good Luck and take care. Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 thankyou people, im more of the opinion at the mo not to send a card, although since she has not contacted me the day since we split, I am almost certain deep down she is expecting a card from me, and thats whatever her feelings are to me .......... I think that should tell me NOT to send a card. like you say probably me not sending a card would make her wonder what im up to more than if I did send a card, but hey! who knows. her birthday last year I did so many romantic things for her and made it such a special birthday for her. so lets hope ITS HER LOSS Link to comment
coooolsome Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 No, "hope its her loss". No this isnt how you should think. IT IS HER LOSS!!! You are better off without her. If she doesnt see that than thats her fault. Be the better person. Dont think negatively, think positivly. It is her loss and always will be. You will find someone else who will appreciate all the things you can do for her. Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Its the day of her birthday, and ............................ I HAVENT sent her a card. I feel numb today. Spose because it is her birthday. miss her lots dont want to contact her staying with the N/C, its helping me at least! Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 hope I have done right, NOT sending her a card Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 still hope one day she sees sense and texts out of blue, changes mind etc Link to comment
Echo Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Scorchio.....Congrats on being STRONG!! I admire your strength through all this..I have been following your posts for months, and you have stuck it out. Today is a true test for you, but be strong. If it is your hope to get her back and you are still missing her this much..then contact will set you back. Good job! Link to comment
coooolsome Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 You cant do any wrong. You have no obligations to her. You need to fix yourself first. As superdave puts it, you cant do any wrong if you dont do anything at all. Link to comment
scorchio Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 This is so hard for me, Yes, I think, I hope, I am doing the right thing by not sending her a birthday card today. HURTS LIKE HELL !!!! AND NUMB THO !!!! maybe deep down she was expecting a card from me ................. BUT I stayed strong, and maybe didnt play into her hands. the N/C is helping me get stronger, although good and bad days, im a little more focused, and clear headed generally but still the annoying thing, that gets me down sometimes, cant get thoughts or silly scenarios out of my head is she with anyone / will it effect her in maybe changing her mind if she with anyone / what is she doing..... etc etc im sure im not the only one even she might be thinking same who knows. LOL but wow, do I miss her !!!! one thing I do know, is, im not going to let my dignity and happiness suffer because of her, my life is there to share with her but not to crumble without her, this im trying very hard to tell myself, its IMPORTANT Link to comment
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