Question - Condoms

[Tess]

I've been with my current b/f for 6 months, we discussed things early on and both wanted an exclusive relationship.

 

After using condoms for a few months, I then went on the pill.

 

I have issues with trust etc, since almost every other guy I have been with has cheated on me.

 

Anyway, when I went on the pill, about 3 months ago there were 7 condoms left in my b/f's drawer. This is the kicker - now there are 3.

 

So what happened to the rest, do you think he's cheated on me or could there be some logical explanation. Maybe he uses them occasionally for masturbating.

 

God I don't know, now I'm feeling really bad. I would have to end things if he'd been unfaithfull. I couldn't help but look to see if they were still there, now I wish I hadn't.........

[Gilgamesh]

Wow you have had some bad luck with guys, it is suspicious about the condoms, and I cannot blame you for being a bit concerned, it "could" be that he uses them to masturbate, although not sure why, maybe he gave some away to a buddy, or threw them away and missed these that were left, who knows.

 

I can understand your dilemma here, how do you ask without looking like you don't trust him, what if its not what you think then this would be hurtful for the relationship, on the other hand, you don't want to be with someone if he is cheating on you, even if he is using condoms with them, its still cheating.

 

All i can suggest is that you keep your eyes peeled for other suspicious behavior and then bring it up.

[Sugar-Rush]

Hey babe,

If i was you i'd just ask him, but don't acuse him of anything tho.

Just say to him, whare are the rest of the condoms gone, i'm sure we had more than that.

Hopefully he'll have a truthful answer for you. If you're in a happy loving relationship, there is no reason for him to cheat, just because past b/f's have been jerks doesn't mean this guy is

 

Sugar XxXxX

[BxB]

do not be too suspecious, i know many guys who use condoms while masturbating. ask him, it might not be of serious concern.

[darkblue]

Hi neighbour,

 

Is this the first signs of suspicion you have noticed?

 

I think you should ask him - not in like you're accusing him of anything. But out of concern.

[RayKay]

Personally I don't know WHY someone would use condoms for masturbating - rather expensive and wasteful use of them in my opinion, and well, I imagine a loss of sensation...

 

It is definitely "odd" that they have gone missing - it is *possible* he gave them to a friend in need or something (though, why?) and honestly, I would be suspicious as well if I were you!

 

I don't think there is any way around it, you are going to have to ask him about it. Have you noticed any other suspicious behaviour - that led you to check in the first place? I know you wish you had not checked, but it's better to know then not too....if he IS cheating, even using condoms he can be bringing diseases to YOU for one, and second, of course we all deserve better than to be cheated on.

 

I am sorry to hear you have had some bad experiences with men. I would take some time to examine why you get involved with men whom cheat, are you attracted to their "bad boyness", do they share something in common in their personality that has you attracted to them?

 

If he is not cheating, and there is an explanation, well, I guess you also need to work on your trust issues...

 

((HUGS)), I hope everything turns out for the best, and please keep us updated.

[Tess]

Thanks for all your replies so far. That's what I thought about loss of sensation etc if using them when masturbating, unless you guys can elaborate more on this.

 

I don't think he would have given them to a friend, all of his friends are married.

 

I'm going to have to ask him, but it's going to cause a huge problem with him now realising I don't trust him. I'm prepared to work on that.

 

I'm definitely not attacted to bad boy types, God knows why other guys have cheated on me. The first was my husband, whom I then divorced, then a couple of guys I dated after that cheated as well.

 

The thing is I can't imagine him doing it with any one else, he seems to be very attentive and dedicated to me only. I haven't seen any other suspicous signs whatsoever. It doesn't seem to make sense.

 

I'll post again when I've found a way to ask him.

[RayKay]

Hey Tess,

 

You never know, maybe they were expired so he threw them out....

 

If there are NO other signs (and you have had experience with this unfortunately....) it might be perfectly reasonable explanation for the missing condoms...you never know!

 

Good luck

[darkblue]

RayKay's right, it's human nature to assume the worst.

 

But in reality there are a number of possibilities, and the only way to find out is to ask him.

 

Good Luck and keep us updated.

[Sugar-Rush]

If you don't think he's cheating on you the chances are he's not.

An ex of mine used to always mastabate with a condom , its called a posh w*nk. The reason he did this was simply to save from cleanign up the mess afterwards and also because it feels more like having sex, which presummably he was imagining doing at the time.

Don't think its everyones cup of tea, but some men deffinately do this

 

Sugar XxXxX

[BellaDonna]

Tess,

 

At this point- the most you can do is ask- but in a sensitive and nonchalent way. Use his response to the question as your guide whether or not to worry. For instance, if he gives a quick, calm, logical/believable answer, while lookin you in the eye- I wouldn't worry.

 

If he has to think about answering for too long, won't look you in the eye, gets defensive, or if he turns it around on you- I would worry...and investigate further.

 

 

BellaDonna

[darkblue]

Good point BD,

 

link removed

 

You may find this site beneficial.

[Tigris]

I agree with Bella Donna the way he replies will answer your question.

 

Good luck and take care.