pornography

[BitterRose]

I was reading the previous post by PrettyPoppy and she pointed out that her boyfriend has a habit of checking out porno online. This immediately reminds me of my boyfriend. Well, in the beginning I pay no attention on that, I don't blame him for looking at picture of naked girls because I know all guys have that urge sometimes. People said every guy looks at porno. But it's getting ridiculous and I sort of freaked out when I found this "secret folder" on my boyfriend's computer. In that folder I saw tons of porn that my boyfriend intended to hide from me. And when I checked the history to see what sites he visited, from the record, it showed that he checks out porn sites almost everyday.

 

My question is, is porno a necessity to guys?

[annie24]

Is this adversely affecting your relationship? Would he rather be online than be on a date with you? Would he rather watch porn than have sex with you? Is he missing work because of this? If things are fine, and he just checks once a day, for like 30 minutes, I don't really see a problem.

[DN]

It's not a necessity but most guys like it, as do a lot of women. It does not necessarily mean he doesn't like or love you, or that he does not find you sexually attractive.

 

But why do you feel you have the right to snoop on his computer? That is a great betrayal of trust and privacy.

[BitterRose]

we share that computer. I sleepover at my boyfriend's house once in a while.

[annie24]

"we share that computer." So, you mean it's his computer, and he lets you use it once in a while. Not like you paid for 50% of it....?

[shes2smart]

My question is, is porno a necessity to guys?

 

No.

 

Food, water & shelter are necessities.

 

If any guy says porn is a "necessity" for him, he's got a problem...just like a person who claims alcohol or drugs are a "necessity."

[thefireisoutanyway]

Yes, I get urge to watch porn time to time. Usually, these urges come in cycles, and near the cycle it gets kind of lame and boring, so I stop. After a long build up, I get urges, so I do it again. Supposedly, men go through "cycles" of their sexual peak just as a woman has a period every month, or something to that degree.

 

...so no, porn is not a necessity. Masturbation, may be.

[jevonj77]

No...porn is not a necessity for guys. I am one of the guys that does not watch porn...it goes against my morals...plus I see that it does cause serious problems in relationships.

 

This is part of my standing...if you can't handle it...you must tell him so and either he changes, you accept it, or you move on.

 

Also I find it quite funny how a lot of women seem to be asking is porn a necessity. I am like haven't we all been through a certian degree of schooling to allow us to know the difference between a necessity and a want. A necessity is something that if you do not have...you will die. Like if I do not eat...I will die. Like if I do not breathe...I will die. Like if I do not have sex...I won't die...but I might be miserable.

 

Some things can get addictive...this does not all of a sudden make them a necessity.

[BitterRose]

 

...so no, porn is not a necessity. Masturbation, may be.

[darkblue]

I think it depends person to person - the use of pornography.

 

And it depends couple to couple if it's allowed!

 

If you're uncomfortable with it; voice your concerns.

[nuts]

i have to say i think a few of the posters are taking the issue a little too seriously... a red-blooded man likes porn. its not rare and not something you should work yourself up over too much. clearly, if its an issue with you, talk it over, tell him it makes you uncomfortable. but dont jump him on it, it'll only make him feel awkward. maybe he hides it because he's embarrassed?

 

dont forget that what may be rediculous to you may mean nothing to him, in which case try not to make a big issue out of it. either way, if its enough to bother you its worth talking to him. you might find his answer puts you at ease.

[crookster_man]

My question is, is porno a necessity to guys?

 

Yes, yes it is.

 

Okay well no maybe not a "necessity" but it's a good thing. I enjoy the odd romp on the net and any girl that told me they would leave me for enjoying my own private time would find themselve without a boyfriend right quick.

 

If it's a deal breaker for you then that is fine, lots of guys won't stop masturbating and porn is a great additive to it. I say chalk it up to one of the million "disgusting" things guys do but you let us get away with it because every once and a while we clean up, buy you flowers and treat you like the princess you are. (at least in our eyes)

[Bethany]

I'm a woman and I LURVVVE Porn. I like nothing better than to wander the sites for what ever takes my fancy that night and to watch a good video with my guy. Sometime I copy the 'actions' and WoooEEE its fantastic sex after it.

Looking at porn isn't wrong and shouldn't carry a guilt complex. It's a turn on and its what healthy hot-blooded men/women do.

[Cliff 007]

Yes, I get urge to watch porn time to time. Usually, these urges come in cycles, and near the cycle it gets kind of lame and boring, so I stop. After a long build up, I get urges, so I do it again. Supposedly, men go through "cycles" of their sexual peak just as a woman has a period every month, or something to that degree.

 

...so no, porn is not a necessity. Masturbation, may be.

 

I agree!!! Masturbation is needed!

[PrettyPoppy]

I must say, although the idea of him checking out other females naked diturbed me, I realise alot of it got to do with my inferiority complex. I felt that I was being compared to those airbrushed enhanced females.

 

Also, if you look at it from a moral point of view, then it shouldn't be done. It all depends on individual's acceptance level, and how you two can reach a compromise. I tried to suggest that we watch it together, but he denied that he even watches it, I suppose that is some secret dirty fantasy that he didn't want to share. Well, until I caught him at it.

 

In my case, porn, and also stress from work is affecting our sex life, and thereforeeee I'm biased against it right now. Who knows, perhaps when he is willing to share what gets his goat, and use porn as a stimuli to improve sex life, instead of getting a private 'get off' off it, then I would like to join him.

[annie24]

I don't think that he's necessarily comparing you. Variety is the spice of life. Think about it - say that your favorite meal is filet mignon. But, you eat it every single day. Then, one day, you want to try liver and onions, not because you like it, but because it's different. Doesn't mean you don't love filet mignon.

 

Why don't you just ask him if you two can watch some porn together?

[DN]

I don't think that he's necessarily comparing you. Variety is the spice of life. Think about it - say that your favorite meal is filet mignon. But, you eat it every single day. Then, one day, you want to try liver and onions, not because you like it, but because it's different. Doesn't mean you don't love filet mignon.

 

Now you've made me all hungry.

 

But Annie is right - men don't compare their partners to porn stars. It's not about you, or love, or a relationship. It's fantasy - just like women who read Harlequin romances in front of their partners. The guy doesn't think she is comparing him to the hero of the book and even if she is he doesn't care; he recognises it for what it is - fantasy.

[dizzy_bruce]

...so no, porn is not a necessity. Masturbation, may be.

 

My best friend (a guy) has never masturbated once in his life... he's a devout catholic. Can't understand it myself lol.

[darkblue]

...so no, porn is not a necessity. Masturbation, may be.

 

My best friend (a guy) has never masturbated once in his life... he's a devout catholic. Can't understand it myself lol.

 

Wow.

 

I wonder if the pope has ever...

[nuts]

I wonder if the pope has ever...

id rather not think about it personally...

[LoveDarby]

It's been scientifically proven that men are more visually oriented. Men are more aroused by pictures, whereas women are more aroused by stories. Most men enjoy porn, but do get bored by the same images, over and over. That explains the vast collection. And I have talked to a lot of my guy friends about this stuff and they all agree that it is more the fantasy than the reality. I know one guy who owns like every Jenna Jameson movie ever made, but said he would never want to sleep with her himself (and no, not because of all the "miles" on her) because that ruins the fantasy. If he is still coming home to you, treating you right and making sure you feel pretty, sexy, smart, funny, etc. then I say let him have his fantasy. And come on, it's not like you haven't had those thoughts about Justin Timberlake/Vin Diesel/Brad Pitt before, and if there were naked pictures of them, wouldn't they be saved on your computer? I know that they'd be on mine.