coming out to my family

[kere]

I came out to my friends a few yrs ago. They accepted me and I fely as if a big load was off my shoulders. One thing I have been adamant about is....my mother and Grandma are NEVER to know. I did a great job keeping it from them for a long time.

 

A few mths ago, rumors started going around and my mom found out. Ofcourse I lied aboutr every thing....that was in Jamaica. I moved to NY 1 mth ago and thought, well noone knows me here so I can be a little more open.

 

If you read my last post about a girl I have been feeling, D, anyway we went to the Village Tuesday and we had a great time. I felt so free and for the first time is a long while, at peace. We held hands on the road, kissed and was very affectionate.

 

Last night I went to visit my Grandma and she said to call my mom is Jamaica, I did. My mom said my Aunty who works in the village saw me and D kissing in the street. My Aunty called my Grandma and told her and my Grandma told mom.

 

I am so angry right now!!!!!!!!!!! Ofcourse I lied to my mom about the whole thing. I am not staying with my Grandma but she supports me financially. I am so hurt that my Aunt told her...my aunt and I don't get along...we don't talk at all.

 

I am not sure what to do. Telling the truth is not an option right now, both my mom and Grandma are devoted Christians. If they find out that I am gay it would KILL them!!!!!

 

I just wanted to vent. I am no asking for answers. Right now i have to call my Grandma and i have no idea what to say to her. I love her more than any body else in this world. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.....what do I say to her???? Lieing my mom is one thing, I have never lied to my grandma and I am not looking forward to it at all.

 

Why can't ppl mind there own bussiness?????? I am a grown woman, just leave me alone. Why tell my Grandma, even if she don't like me....which she don't...then think to herself..."this will hurt mama so I am not gonna say anything"...right????....wrong, she just jumps at the oppertunity to have something on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I will come out, but on my own terms and my own time. I don't need nosey a** B*****s all up in my bussiness trying to F***k up my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks for the support guys, I really feel like I have friends on this site even though I don't know any of you. THANK YOU for listening...reading.

 

Kere

[UT]

Well, if you not ready to come out yet you can only go to another place with your girlfriend. Somewhere you know you won't be seen by anyone who could harm you even more.

 

Unless your mom and grandma happened to be very open-minded you can only try to be yourself where they can't see you.

 

Thinking about this I can honestly say that I haven't been able to be myself ever. I have never been myself anywhere but here. Oh my god, you people know more about me than all my friends and family do together.

 

Hang in there. Things will probably turn out for the better. Meanwhile, lie like a thief. That's what I do.

[Tpysl]

Your mother and Grandmother have NO RIGHT at ALL to judge you, especially not your aunt. It's just one of the biggest fallacies of christianity.

 

Why do you feel the need to hide yourself from them? You're lying to your family by not telling them. You're not doing anything wrong, you're just being yourself.

 

I'll leave you with one thought:

 

If they can't accept you for who you are, then think for yourself...are they really family?

[Cadence308]

It sounds like you know what you need to do. Lie for the moment because it suits you and then come out on your own terms when you feel like it. Tell your grandma it must have been somebody else, maybe someone that looked like you because you were...That would appear to be the most logical lie for the situation.

 

I am so sorry this happened. It sounds like your aunt is out to make you look like a bad person, probably because she knows how much your grandma adores you.

[mgirl]

If they find out that I am gay it would KILL them!!!!!

 

Well, isn't it killing you not telling them?

[Cadence308]

What is the worst case scenario of what they will do to you when they find out you are gay? Will they cut you off financially? Will they not speak to you for a while? Will they preach to you about God and the Bible? You need to evaluate the situation before coming out to them. If they would cut you off financially and you can't afford to live on your own, then you should weigh that.

 

How did the talk with your grandma go?

[kere]

Thanks so much guys, I really need the support right now. Ofcourse I lied like a thief!!!!! But sonner or later it will all come out. I just don't want to be forced.

 

I will be cut off financially and as it turns out I am not able to work in the US. My biggest fear is to disappoint my family and knowing that I am gay will distroy them. I can life with a lie, but I cannot live with knowing I disappointed my family.

 

Thanks again guys.