First time with the ex since the breakup...

[nataliejulie]

Tonight, we agreed that I would meet him in NYC. It would have been better where I am (in the burbs).. so it wasn't a big deal to me.

 

So there we are, like to strangers on the street. We bump into each other and it was a moment of shock. I haven't seen him in two months. He wanted to go to the movies to see Corpse Bride, so we walked to the movie theater and I caught him staring at me a lot the way there. It was really awkward at first. You could totally tell that he was really anxious, nervous, whatever it was. So half way through the movie, he held my hand. We cuddled through the rest of the movie.

 

AFTER the movie he wanted to go eat. We went to this sushi joint we used to go to all the time. We had laughs, and halfway through dinner, he grabs my hand and starts kissing my fingers, holding my hand. Now, we were never the "Public Display of Affection" couple, and there's tons of people sitting around. He moves in for a kiss. We kissed. We kissed a whooooooole lot in a public restaurant. I literally felt like we were the only people in the universe. He wouldn't stop kissing me. But it was the sweetest, more... God. It was like our first kiss all over again.

So, he grabs the check and we head back to his house so I can drop him off. He asks me to park and he gets out of the car, asks me to come in. OKAY SO I DID SUE ME. We laid on his bed, joking around and he pulls me in again. We kissed for literally, an hour and a half straight. We haven't kissed like that in ages. Alright alright, so, this movie-moment, I went in my pocket and threw all my morals right out the window. bye bye. We made love. He held me, kissing my shoulders. I told him I couldn't spend the night, I WISH COULD HAVE but I have work. He was really bummed out by it, so I told him I would lay with him till he fell asleep. I did. I smiled the whole time.

 

It was weird. It felt like the first few months of our relationship -- new, exciting, extreme happiness... but I had the comfort I had with him through our long-term relationship. It was a magical combo.

 

However, we did not speak one word of the relationship. Which I don't mind, because I want him to think about tonight when I'm not around and judge what he really wants. I know it was a big no-no me sleeping with him (trust me, I didn't even plan it, I didn't even shave my legs just so I wouldn't!!!! ) So... we'll see what happens.

[NotMyself]

I am happy for you.. Glad one of our dates tonight turned out well..

[annie24]

Ok, I'm starting to sound like a broken record after replying to your previous post, but I'm just worried about you. But, it's your life and your decisions to make.

 

It's just that I was there before - where I dated a guy, and he broke up with me, and after the breakup, we fell into a "FWB" thing but with no committment or anything on his part. I still thought he was crazy about me. Now I know in hindsight that if he was crazy about me, he would have asked me to be his gf again. Anyways, a few years, on and off of that really took a long time for me to heal from. I wasted a lot of time on him and I could have met many better guys during that time.

 

When you're having sex with someone, you have more than enough right to ask, "hey - what's the deal between us?" As a broad generalization, men are better at seperating sex from love than women are. Just because he invited you out and had sex with you doesn't necessarily mean he wants to get back together again. For him, this might be the ideal situation! You driving out to see him, having dates and sex, but without any of the committment! For many men, that's their dream!

 

But, good luck. I do hope things turn out ok, and you guys work your problems out and get back together.

[nataliejulie]

I'm so happy people care!

 

I'm trying to stay positive. I keep thinking to myself... this is the guy that was in a touring rock band for a few years, that had girls around him non-stop and slept with none of them. (not from just his word, he's actually picked on by that fact by other friends and band members) this is the guy who has some high morals (never smoked, never did drugs, and didn't drink alcohol till the age of 22, however rarely drinks) and he always stood highly against FWB and one night stands. However, he's the same guy that broke my heart.. but I put him through SO MUCH after the past few months and he stuck by me through it. It's just running in circles.

 

I gotta stay calm and focused. However, by no means, would I continue a relationship with no committment. My heart may be broken and I may be in a grave deal of pain, but I still have at least some respect for myself to not be a play thing!

[nataliejulie]

It's been almost 24 hours since I've seen him and I have yet to hear from him.................................. impatient? EH!

 

Should I be worried? Am I being stupid? He didn't seem to regret anything last night, he seemed generally happy that I was with him. Should I just play it safe and let him call?

 

Did anyone ever see their ex and any of the above happen? What were your results? Just looking for input and stories!

[chupchup]

mind ended a year and a half ago. we did do the sex thing. n he made it clear that he doesnt to be in a relationship. which i didn't mind. i love him and still do. but i call him most of the times, he never really called. i know its not right for wat is happening. I'm not sure if he's gona call u. dont sit around and sulk because i did that once and its just wasting time. do wat you need to do and if he calls he calls and if not its his loss.

[nataliejulie]

He told me he WANTS a relationship with me, he's just very scared. He said half of him says to go back and the other half thinks of all this useless fighting I put him through, all the misery I put us through. He said he thinks about me almost every minute of the day and I'm his thought before he goes to bed at night and in the morning when he wakes up. He said this right before we hung out.

[annie24]

Arg. See, that's the problem with having sex with the ex before talk of re-establishing the relationship has been done. It tends to leave one person guessing and counting the hours while the other is off having a fun time. I would let him come to you and talk to you. whatever you do, don't chase him down. You said you don't want to become his plaything. That's good.

 

I personally have never been fond of the "I'm scared" excuse. Unless you've kept him locked up in chains in your basement, I don't see why he should be afraid of a relationship with you.

 

take care

[nataliejulie]

Okay. It took me a miracle, but I was about three seconds from calling him a few times today. I have to learn patience.

 

If he truly wants to work things out, he'll come to me, right?

[annie24]

Okay. It took me a miracle, but I was about three seconds from calling him a few times today. I have to learn patience.

 

If he truly wants to work things out, he'll come to me, right?

 

Right. He broke up with you. It's his job to win you back, if that's what he wants. It's your job to move on as fast as you can. He can always chase you down with flowers and chocolates if he wants you back...

[georgiagirl76]

I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't have slept with him because right now if my ex came back I am sure it would be difficult for me to resist and I would maybe even do the same thing. I would caution you not to romanticize what happened in your head. It could have been magic, it could have been what you felt- but if he hasn't called you then that is a warning sign. Think about it- and yes I know men are different, but if things had really changed for him and he was as into you as you felt the night you were out with him then he would have no qualms about calling or telling you. Does this mean that he used you or won't be back- no- of course the only one who can answer that is him. Just be careful not to undue all the work you did while you were apart. I would hate for you get hurt again.