Focus on one, or...

[Nwadour]

Just when I found the spirit and time to finally start studying in peace, a nice girl comes and wants to have a relationship with me.

I'm really scared for my studies, but she's really attracted to me in any case. I know many would say you can have both, study and have a girlfriend... but what about all the stress in case things go wrong, etc.?

Already now I have this moral questioning... what if I engage with her in a relationship but in reality I study and might ignore her etc. etc.?

[Day_Walker]

If your studys are that important to you then you need to make that sacrifice. I dont believe that you have to completely ignore your gf but just let her know what you need to do so that way she has an idea of whats going on in your life.

[DiscipleOfChange]

an interesting yet very common prediament indeed. I'm not in a relationship, but I can certainly tell you that for many students, the baggage you pick up and shoulder when you're involved with someone can certtainly put a strain on the psyche. Add this to the stress from your studies and you may have quite a problem. Now, I also know people for whom mixing relationships with academics works out quite well. Yet another perspective comes from the tragic romantic in me, whih says (having never had someone feel attracted to me) that you should welcome the affection and that having someone with whom you can be intimate, to any degree, can be more comforting than you can imagine.

 

~Mark

[smallworld]

I believe a well-lived life is about "balance." Academics are important, but not to the point that one sacrifices a social life. If you work "smarter" I truly believe you can have both. When I was in uni, my bf (now husband) was on scholarship and yet he managed to find the time to volunteer, socialize, work, and spend time with me every day. Before he went to uni, he was much like you in thinking that girls would distract him from his studies, but family problems his senior year of high school made him realize how invaluable girl friends can be (nevertheless girlfriends.)

 

So when I came along and it was clear things were getting serious, we multi-tasked. We'd eat meals together with friends, study with each other in the evenings, and go out on the weekends. Ironically becoming more efficient just made his grades go even higher! (I wish I could say the same, but I was too busy studying how cute he was.)

 

So imho, give this girl a chance, but find a way to make your time together count. If she sincerely cares about you, she already knows how important school is to you and would never want to interfere with your studies just as she wouldn't want you to interfere with hers.

[Nwadour]

We have one additional hurdle, that happens to be space - about 150 kilometres that separate us. For a person who doesn't put much importance on final graduation this might be nothing since it's just 1.5 hours by drive or train, but for me (ehrm... see most of my previous posts) as I'm also aiming for a scholarship, things could be different.

A pro to just forgetting her but "keeping her for future events" (if future will ever offer something) would be the fact that final exams come only once in life while love (IMHO) comes and goes like waves.

A contra would be that if I don't manage to COMPLETELY forget her (i.e. regret) during the next few months, I may still be in a state that could affect my grades badly.

As romantic as I am, my highest priority NOW goes to school, as you see, hmmm could you advice me a good "antidote" in order to forget her during this very important period of my life?

[starrrr]

uhh sorry to say but i really don't think there's an antidote..

 

It's all up to you...and what you want...if studying is your priority then forget her, distract yourself by keeping ur head in ur books...But i think you want to give this a chance...

 

LIVE life with no regrets.