Hi again.. Any advice will help me.. Please reply....

[vulnerable]

Hello … I have told my story here once … Thank you for all your input … its always a great feeling to know that there are people who still cares and understands and…can relate to what I have been going through. If you haven't already know my story, bf cheated in the past took him back, he lives out of town then, recently just moved in town a block from me, we were supposed to move in together but I ended up not doing it because of his issues with. Any how, I am here to share my story once again. I am hurting pretty bad. I did follow adviced not to move in with him, but I haven't completely left him. Its been tough ..really tough. , I tried leaving him, I DID I swear, we've had so many arguments lately so I left him or at least during that time … but he kept following me, begging for me to come back and promised to change. I am beginning to hate my self because I accepted him back when I don't even know if this relationship is going any where. He says he wants us to move in together and give it a try, but I feel that he is only saying this to keep my hopes high that things are going to work out because he knows that there is no way that I am moving in with him until we settle our issues. In other words, he is such a good manipulator and I am letting him. I am so weak that I can't even just walk away… My mother is no longer happy with my decisions. So I came up with Plan B… I got a second job to keep me busy, starting next week, I am in school too and work full time , but I am beginning to worry about the fact that since we live sooo close to each other that I will still end up staying in the relationship although I am so miserable. I don't know what is going on with me… I am so confuse, part of me wants to move in with him, part of me doesn't. Another part of me says, leave town for good and start a new. But I don't understand why I cannot make my self walk away now. I am afraid of hurting ??? I am hurting while with him too. Please help me??? Any thing you'd like to say sure will help me. I need the strength to walk away from this man who not only cheated on me several times in the past but does not even treat me right, continues to manipulate me and say mean things to me every time. I know I am better than this but I can't find the strength to do it, to walk away and find happiness somewhere else. I never thought I would be in this place, I am so unhappy right now , I am a wreck with or without him… and that's almost disgusting, he tells me I am the crazy one and always try to find something to nag about.. I don't ,,, he gave me reasons to question him, I am always worried about our relationship, I look so sad and I am not my self any more...what do I do now?… …. God help me coz I am losing it… please give advice??? … thank you again….

[arwen]

Hey vulnerable,

 

I think you just gave yourself the best advice here. Deep down you know the best thing is to break this relationship off. You are not happy with him. You seem a strong girl, taking on both a job AND studies. This is YOUR life you are talking about. Don't waste this time by staying in some sort of semi-way with a guy that cheated on you, manipulates you, that doesn't feel like home to you.

 

I think that any relationship that makes you feel like you want to leave and start life right over, is in need of some serious reconsideration. It's not for nothing that you feel this way. Listen to yourself, you have all the insight you need, written in what you just posted.

 

Take care,

 

ilse.

[djedix]

1. Leave him and never look or go back

2. Repair yourself.

3. Find your happyness inside YOU again.

 

 

then maybe you can move on to a new relationship. It's gonna take alot of courge and work, but i think you know in your heart this is what you have to do, and your strong enuff to acomplish it

[lunatic]

The best thing to do is to walk away from this guy. He is a user, manulipative, and a cheater. RIGHT THERE YOU MUST WALK!

 

Tell this guy to leave you alone and that the relationship is over. Why would you stay somewhere that your NOT HAPPY? If your in the car and you see something that is going to crash into you don't you move the car out of the way? Well it is the same thing here... If your not happy then move on.

 

I agree with djedix on his simple straight forward answer:

 

1. Leave him and never look or go back

2. Repair yourself.

3. Find your happyness inside YOU again.

 

You deserve to find someone who will treat you like a lady is susposed to be treated like. Not crapped on and told a bunch of bull. There are so many good men out there that can't seem to find a good woman also. I think you will one day meet someone who will see your beauty on the inside and out.

 

Get away from this jerk because he does not deserve a second or third chance to cheat on you again.

 

Be strong and stand up for yourself!

 

If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me anytime.

 

Good luck!

-Hubman

[shorty20]

i'm so sorry you are going through this. I too was in a verbally abusive relationship.... i thought you might be able to relate to this... i wrote it write before I broke up with my bf of 11 months...

 

Tears sting my eyes

can't get rid of all these cries

can't stand all these lies

 

I look in the mirror

And what do I see?

Fragments and Pieces

Of what used to be me

 

These feelings of hate

I can not ignore

I don't even know

Who I am anymore

 

He's turned me into

This distorted reflection

I need to turn back

Go the other direction

 

But his grip is too tight

His hold is to strong

I'm locked in a place

Where I don't belong

 

I need to turn back

I need to remind

myself

Of the girl I left behind

 

here's the point hun. I know exactly where you are. I also know that breaking up with this guy is going ot be the hardest but best thing you could ever do for yourself. You can't look at the relationship and remember al lthe good times and the sweet things he did, and just blindly forget the bad. He's hurt you. Bad. He dosen't seem to have any respect for you. have some respect for yourself and erase him from your life. Block his number. Don't answer the door if he comes. Be strong. You can do it. PM me anytime you need any advice or encouragment or anything.... I've been there done that and could help you alot. Good luck sweetie.

[bronx_brawla]

wow...there are still good girls out there???

I just wanna give you alot of credit for putting up with this guy. But at the same time...you cant stay blind to the fact that he has hurt you and continues to hurt you.

I have and still am..goin thru a similar situation. I'm have'nt been with my gf for a lil over 3 months now. And i still cant seem to find a way to let her go. (yanno..get over her and forget about her.) And just like you..she's hurt me many times with her lies. One after the other. And in the past 3 months shes changed and i dont even consider her the same girl that i first met. But anyway..this is about you so.

Like me, it duzzent seem like you have much of a choice. You have to leave this guy. It seems like he has put you thru alot of pain. Cheating is unforgivable...in my opinion. And a person should only get one chance. If they blow it by cheating..then thats it. Ounce a cheater always a cheater. Dont let him give you lip service on how he's gonna change. Its' the same as lieing...ounce a liar..always a liar. It just starts to be a habit for people ounce they start so they can avoid confrontation. But they dont see is how it will ruin things in the long run..and then by that time its too late.

Do your self a really big favor and walk away. Before it gets worse and then you might not be able to leave. Yes..you will hurt and suffer.

But..." If you want a rainbow...you gotta tread the rain "

i really hope i helped. We're all in the same boat. I'm sure you love him...but from what he's done..it duzzent sound like he feels the same. And thats wrong and you will need better.

good luck

---bx

[bronx_brawla]

btw..

awesome poem shorty20

 

thats exaclty how i feel.