Is it true that women should wait to be pursued by the guy?

[koolaidnovel]

I'm 18 and a freshman in college and there are guys that I like...I don't know if I should "pursue" them, (my idea would be to start talking to them on AIM or invite them to go eat together in the caf or something...?)...or should I wait and see when a guy pursues me? I mean, I want to be wanted...and not have to try hard to get a guy interested in me and want to try to "get" me. I feel like if a girl decides to pursue and not BE pursued, then she's gonna end up with guys who just like her because she likes them. I don't want to be used...I feel as if some guys do this (do stuff with a girl just because she likes him)...like it's a better chance for them to "get some" for lack of better term. So I'd like the males to answer: Do you like to pursue the girl you like? What is your idea of "pursuing"? Would you hook up with a girl if you didn't like her that much, for the sole reason of hooking up? Thanks so much, guys.

[Tigris]

If I'd had to wait for my tow husbands to ask me out I'd have still benn waiting! lol

 

It's up to you.

 

Good luck.

 

 

[acuraman]

I think it should go both ways. If you like someone, then ask them. Don't always expect a guy to approach you and ask you out on a date. I do agree with you that being pursued is a great feeling, but how about pursuing someone that YOU like? There are men out there that don't always pursue females because they are either shy or intimidated by the female. I think you should give it a try and not wait for chance to happen.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Why are male intimidated by female?

 

Lets say, when female does not play hard to get, she give in when the man made a little effort. Would this makes her not valueable? In other words, does not treat her reasonably. Or there is no challenge in chasing her. Thus, he lost interest?

Does this happen in real life? Guys, any views?

 

Thank you.

[VultureFury]

Do you like to pursue the girl you like?

kinda, but lately i been fearing rejection/shy and she seems to be shy as well...

What is your idea of "pursuing"?

Talking, asking to eat lunch together, walking her to class

Would you hook up with a girl if you didn't like her that much, for the sole reason of hooking up?

If i didnt like a girl, also means im not intrested in being friends then no I wouldnt hook up just to do so.

[Day_Walker]

I think its your call, if you feel comfortable persuing guys then do so if you dont then dont.

[lunatic]

I think it is up to the guy but, I know personally I don't like it when a female plays hard to get.

 

I think if you like someone then go for it does not make any difference. I like it when a woman chases after me too so I would say if your comfortable persuing someone then go for it.

[darkblue]

Men and women are no different - they both want to be persued as it makes them feel wanted. thereforeeee, there should be no fixed gender on who starts 'persuing'.

 

If you like them - talk to them.

[Iceman26]

Fifty years ago I would have said yes, but today, with women acting like men and men acting like women who the hell knows? I think it goes either way.

[darkblue]

Iceman26

Age: 27

Fifty years ago I would have said yes

 

Too easy...

[Iceman26]

If you are referring to my comment on what things were like 50 years ago on the dating scene, I have the experiences of my grandfather, grandmother, father, uncles and family friends to call on.

[darkblue]

If you are referring to my comment on what things were like 50 years ago on the dating scene, I have the experiences of my grandfather, grandmother, father, uncles and family friends to call on.

 

Just the way that it was phrased "I would have said", as if - if you had saw this post fifty years ago - you would have said...

 

It's called sarcasm.

[lunatic]

It's called sarcasm.

 

LOL and darkblue is full of sarcasm too. j/k

[jevonj77]

I think that it is simple...if you like the guy...you should pursue him...

 

However, there are some guys that still like it done tactifully. I don't think you want to walk up to him and do it like you know most guys do it to girls...it might turn them off...some guys that is...with them seeing the obvious similarity.

 

But I have been asked out by women before...but the way that it was done was real nice. Like I would be sitting like at a club...and then one would just sit close to me or something( not too close but in seeing distance...) You know and maybe smile in my direction. So I not being a tottal dormat would start talking to them.

 

If I liked them, I would ask for their number and such. This way, it gave me a chance to still be in the traditional role. I still have some stigmas about women that are to forward...but I do like them to take the initiative if they notice me and I don't notice them. You can't blame them for that.

 

Now the other thing is that once you are talking or what and he has made a sort of "move" don't waste his time playing all hard to get because that really upsets people and is a waste of time.

 

Also, you can't be desperate or any of that because yes, some guys will get with a girl just because she has the words "do me" written all accross her forhead and he really needs some. So do it with restraint but don't play hard to get once you see that the one you are after is really interested. You won't know his motives until sometime into the relationship anyways and I don't think that you plan on giving it up before that time anyways.

 

Lastly...pursue when nessesary...I might never notice someone standing behind me...you know?

[lunatic]

I love it how a woman can be sheepish and shy but, when a man is like that your ready to run away. Why should a woman in 2005 not ask a man out that she fancies?

 

Double standards stink no matter where or what it relates too.

[lunatic]

LOL I guess I see your point.

[jevonj77]

I think that it must be understood that , sure she can go ask a guy out...but as the previous post has also stated...she will get a smaller pool.

 

You generally date someone because there are certain things you like about them. So the fact that a woman being too dominate might turn some guys off is no different than a guy being turned off if a girl has short hair just like an average guy, is big and strong and muscular as some men and talks just like one. A guy just might not like that.

 

But hay...it's 2005...do whatever you want...just that your results might not be all that great.

[heythere1234]

from my experience guys are flattered when a woman persues them, sure; however, they no longer percieve her as a good prize to win. which do you want to be? sure, i'm sure there are plenty of guys who would love to dance with me or kiss me or who knows what else if i initiated it all (plus what a boost to their ego, and it would make them look like a stud in front of their friends!), but from what i have seen in my own experience and that of men and women that I know, i am convinced they would not appreciate me for the sole reason that they did not initiate it.

 

Conversely, i have noted that women feel much more satisfied with their relationship when they are persued by their respective man.

 

that said, as another poster said, it does depend on what you are comfortable with.