Taking The next step

[VultureFury]

I want to get to know her more. What should I do? I want to be good friends with her but I dont know what to do from were I am now?

 

Thanks for your time and help

 

Heres some background. Ive recently started college and am looking to make new friends. I havent had much luck since its so ackward just starting a convo. with a classmate when its dead silent. Ive had luck in one class, Psychology. The teacher told us to talk to a neighbor and try listening from the "no" perspective then the "yes". (First Impression activity) Know as 'Icebreakers' in campus. We talked, general things and I wanted to get to know her more but decided to wait a bit b4 asking her number or screen name. So far every psychology class she sits next to me. Were both shy since when she sits down she doesn't say hi to me rite away. I end up waiting a bit b4 saying hi to her (seeing if she says hi frist). When I start the convo. she doesnt seem shy at all and its not too hard to talk to her.

 

What I notice eye contact while talking. (looks back and forth during convo)

She Grazed my hand once when I was passing papers crossing the room

Today I sad sorry to somebody else, accidentally hitting them with my book then she said "huh", thinking I was talking to her

[Celadon]

well if you're talking general stuff now, move to the more specific. learn more about her and share more about you - family, interests, hope & dreams, hobbies, etc. if there's a college event you want to go to, mention it to her and see if she is also interested in it. If she expresses interest, suggest you two go togehter. if she doesn't express interest, don't worry, just find another activity some other time.

[VultureFury]

thanks

I was thinking of asking her tomorrow if she would hang out in the cafe. for a bit since she works at the bookstore after classes. How to I ask her? Im not quite sure how it goes..

[Celadon]

Keep it upbeat, yet casual. Think of her as a friend.

 

Something like, "Hey, I was thinking of grabbing a drink at the cafe after class, just to chill. You doing anything? Wanna hang out for a bit?"

 

If she hesitates, or doesn't know what to say, keep up your patter so that she doesn't feel put on the spot. Like, "This class always makes me thirsty - lol! etc, etc, etc."

 

If she says she has to work, don't argue with her, it'll make you sound desperate. Just listen and agree with her. "Oh yeah, the bookstore. How's that going? What kinds of things do you do there?" (or whatever)

 

Then if you think she's undecided about joining you (if she hasn't said no), ask her again in a lighthearted way. "So? Cafe? Something to wet yer whistle?"

 

Always leave the "door" open. If she says no, just let her know you'll be there if she changes her mind. Some people say 'no' just because they're caught off guard and need time to think.

 

Hope this helps. Just some thoughts ... good luck!

[VultureFury]

Thanks again your tips are great but She didnt show up for class today. The weather wasnt so good either. Now I gotta wait until next tuesday until I see her!

sigh its been a bit difficult making friends at college so far, its hard to start a convo sometimes.

[VultureFury]

She finally said hi first on tuesday

ok today I asked her after class "I going to get something to eat at the cafe now. umm you wanna hangout for a bit?" then she said "you mean me??" guess she was surprised like you said. after i sad yes she said she has to goto work right after class then "maybe when my schedule changes"

Im taking it easy anyways i got until the dec when the semester ends. I'll see what happeneds i hope i dont run out of things to talk about!

[Celadon]

She finally said hi first on tuesday

 

Eh, that's good news! Sorry to hear she wasn't free to grab a bite, but unless she's completely dense, she should know that you're open to hanging out in the future with her. I think it's good to take it slow and be her friend. I'd say many girls need to feel they can trust the guy before going out with him. So just be someone she can trust. Be yourself.

[VultureFury]

Update

I think I missed my chance on thurs She said something like "I didnt get to eat lunch yesterday and I wanted to grab something to eat before class but I didnt want to be late for class" my last class ended early and I just came back from the cafeteria!

She was acting weird last tues. She kept looking at me and stared at me for a good moment. I happened to be looking at her direction before she looked at me. When we worked in groups she kept doodling on a piece of paper. " la la la" all over.

 

I havent got the chance to asked her # yet eather... and Ive got 2 days off of school this week....