update on girl from my class

[DiscipleOfChange]

okay, here's ther esults of today's class:

 

I did more talking with her during the break and before class, getting to know some personal details, took a "point" hit by forgetting where she was from. But anyways, I asked her if she would be interested in meeting tonite to work on the paper and she said she had promised some friends she would hang out witht hem and she still had to write the paper. I asked her if Friday afternoon would be a good time and she said "yeah, maybe we could do it then" I asked about her cell and AIM and we exchanged numbers/SNs. So basically, I'm going to see if I can get together with her for coffee, but go about it casually. Do any of you think she might just be saying maybe to put it off? I can't really tell, but my instincts tell me to tread lightly. Obviously I'm going to play it cool but I'm putting more effort into having coffe with this girl because I have a class with her each day so I actually get a chance to see her and talk with her.

 

I figure, tomorrow in class, in fact, not until thursday will I bring up the coffe idea, unless she brings it up. I don't want to be pushy. i guess my question is, do you think she's interested in the coffee thing? I'm confident that she really is busy because I know people have friends and schoolwork to do. And, I have had productive conversations with her and we have exchanged numbers and stuff.

 

thoughts anybody?

 

~Mark

[heloladies21]

Only way to find out if she's serious is if she sets the date, so proceed until you find out otherwise. And no more making up imaginary situations or excuses for her not to get together with you. If she's interested she'll make time to see you.

 

Ask her on thursday. If no dice, cut contact.

[DiscipleOfChange]

That's my plan. Well, sort of, I mean since I see her in class I still plan on saying hi and having casual conversations with her but I plan on leaving it at that. So, I won't completely cut contact with her.

[Stinkweed]

Of course you're not gonna start to completely ignore her existence. That would be horrible manners (a girl did that to me once, and it made me so mad...). But you will stop showing interest and talk to her less than you do right now. But maybe she's genuine man. Don't worry, you're probably doing way better than you think. Good luck. Peace.

[chai714]

How was her body language? Read it and analyze it. It's the first thing you should look for when you meet a woman.

 

Also, I wouldn't necessarily ask a woman to coffee, rather, I think suggesting it would be better.

 

"Will you go to coffee with me sometime?"

 

"Let's grab some coffee after we knock this paper out. My treat."

 

Which sounds better?

[DiscipleOfChange]

Well, it actually was more in suggestion format rather than direct questioning. As far as body language, well I'm not sure how to read it, she didn't seem to turn away from me, and there certainly were other seats than the one next to me open when class started. And occasionally, after gaps in the convo, she would ask me a question, not directly a follow up but related to the topic we were discussing. I'm going to "lie low" for a day, seeing body language, just chatting, not talking about coffe or anything and come thursday, (in fact, I might even wait till friday) before I say, "Hey, why don't we hang grap something to drink at the Java Joint this afternoon?" (I'm not sure about adding the "My treat" part because, although I'd probably offer to pay when we go, I wan't it to seem as casual as possible upfront. But, I definitely am putting ice on the situation for a day or two, to see how things are and to consult with my advisors (online and otherwise)

[Stinkweed]

"Hey, why don't we hang grap something to drink at the Java Joint this afternoon?" (I'm not sure about adding the "My treat" part because, although I'd probably offer to pay when we go, I wan't it to seem as casual as possible upfront.

 

That still sounds like a question to me... I think what chai said sounds better. The "Let's grab some coffee after we knock this paper out. My treat." Cause if you say it like that it's harder for her to say no than if you simply ask her to go grab something to drink at the java joint which is a simple yes or no question instead of a suggestion... Plus, the "my treat" makes it even less likely for her to resist the offer cause she'll have nothing to lose, and I mean, who doesn't want ppl to treat them from time to time? Well, good luck man. Tell us how it goes.

[DiscipleOfChange]

I'll take your advice into consideration guys, with thanks. I just feel that saying "Let's" is a bit pushy and not really giving her an option and while yes I do want her to say yes, I want to come off as pushy

 

So tell me how this sounds, when chatting with her on Friday, find out what she's doing for the rest of the day and THEN say, "Hey let's go to the java joint (insert time here)"

 

You know, I might feel more comfortable using "How 'bout" instead of "Let's" it is still a question, because of the "how" I know but it doesnt sound as pushy

 

 

thoughts?

[easyguy]

If you don't really know this girl, I'd suggest not making it seem like you're demanding her to go. How about you say:

 

"Hey, I was going to go get a bite to eat at (place) later, but I figured instead of indulging myself in a sandwhich (or some other food), you could join me and we could get to know each other better."

 

Maybe not EXACTLY like that, but you get the point. And you're not asking her, you're suggesting. No matter how you phrase the question, if she likes you enough to go somewhere with you, she'd say yes no matter how you ask it.

[DiscipleOfChange]

wow, that actually sounds really good man! thanks. I wont plagiarize you but I'll use the idea.

 

Thanks