inabilitly to orgasm any other way except vibrator

[JoJo63]

I was wondering if anyone else has ever had problem giving themselves an orgasm with their fingers or from their partners fingers or has any pointers for me... I am very sexually fustrated no matter how i try i cannot bring myself to orgasm or have my husband bring me to an orgasm either fingering or intercourse. The only way I can ever seem to orgasm is to use a vibrator and its really fustrating for my partner cuz he wants to be able to get me to orgasm for him and has even asked me to do it myself and let him watch and learn however I cant seem to do it my self either. I just seem to not feel much of anything at all and then after awhile of massaging it gets to hurt like a rash feeling from doing it so long. I've even tried using enhancing creams and that but all they seem to do it make it warm down there but doesnt really feel more than that like good like its suppose to. Even during intercouse I dont seem to feel much of anything other than him hitting my cervix other than that nothing nadda and its really fustrating. I feel like my parts just dont work and are broken and Im only 23. So any advice from anyone please!!!

[RayKay]

It's a cruel twist that the harder you try and the more worried you are about getting to orgasm, the less likely it will happen. It sounds like sex is becoming more of a frustration then a pleasure. And that is not an environment to get off on!

 

Most women do orgasm through clitoral stimulation, but the type of stimulation varies from woman to woman, and what gets her there varies too.

 

1) I would ease off the vibrator for a while. Take a complete break from it.

 

2) Extend foreplay - a lot. Not just touching, start with talking, caressing, holding, kissing. Sharing sexy thoughts and fantasies. Foreplay starts LONG before anyone even dreams about getting naked yet. Pick up a erotic literature book (can find it at the local bookstore in "short stories" in adult fiction usually). Find one geared for women. Read it on your own, touch yourself, see what works. Share it with your partner.

 

3) Don't focus so much on "getting there". BOTH of you should take the pressure off and just have FUN. If something feels good, go with it, if it does not, switch it up for a while and find something that does. If it does not happen that time, don't worry, get excited for next time.

 

4) Have patience. It takes time. Some women don't have their first orgasm until they are in their 30s's - 99% of it is mental and it takes knowing and accepting your body.

 

5) Don't be afraid to consult a doctor or therapist like your OB/GYN. They might have some helpful tips or advice to help you relax and get there. Trust me, you are not the only one who will have come to them with this!

[GothicLolita]

I feel your pain.The best thing i can tell you is to BREATH it helps breathing in deeply through your nose not your mouth during sex or masturbateing helps the orgasim become more intense. even more if you can tell that your about to cum, take a deep breath and release and enjoy the ride.

 

 

be cafeful not to over stimulate yourself either with a toy or without because after awhile you will go temp. numb and it will take a few mins for the feeling to come back.

 

 

I have a hard time cumming without a toy but its important to not be so concerned with cumming because you do then its harder to get there. .And technicaly you shouldn't be feeling him hit your cervix because when a women is arouse her cervix temp raises causing a little more room for the penis.Also the inside of a vagina doesn't have many nerves at all is only the outter zone that has more feeling the inside.which is way women can use tampons its not the tampon its because there are not alot of nerves!.

 

 

 

which is why sex is 99% mental/emotional.the problem is you get to tense over it instead of just letting it happen.you seem to be missing that passion behind your sexualty.

 

Your best bet is to relax share a romantic shower or bath.Watch or listen to something sexy become intune with your body and focus on whats going on around you and in your mind breath don't think about the "happy ending" think about how good your toy is making you feel or how turned on you are by you husband.

 

Maybe a different type of toy might help also like a vibrating c*ck ring.

 

i hope this can help.

let me know how it goes

[TheVindicator]

You can bring your body to be accustomed to a specific type of stimulation, and others will not work as well.

 

Just like sleeping. It may be difficult for someone to sleep on a really hard bed in broad day light without any sheets, when usually they sleep on a cushy bed in pitch black with a pile of comforters and blankets.

 

I would retire the vibrators for a couple weeks. Abstain from sexual stimulation for a little while. Start with slow, gentle stimulation and progress over a week.

 

If you still experience this, consult your medical professional. Gyno's are around for a reason

[Drizown]

I had that problem too. Just lay off the vibrator. By then your body won't be thinking "it's better with vibey", and 2 you'll have so much sexual energy stored up that it'll have to be released.