Sexless relationship

[Johanna81]

I was wondering if anyone has gone through this before and what they did to fix it...

I've been with my bf for almost two years and basically he has no desire to have sex with me it's really rare when he will and if I initiate it I basically get shot down I've mentioned it to him a few weeks ago and he was like maybe I have no sex drive cause he watches porn like everyday and pleasures himself. So he was like I'll stop downloading it... and he hasn't! He used to want to have sex with me most of the time we were together so I think it's weird I'm not sure what to do cause I don't want to break up with him because we don't have sex but on the other hand I'm only 23 and I don't want to be in a sexless relationship for the rest of my life...

[wynterose]

I once read a poll that said that 60% of men prefer masterbation to the real thing. Maybe by pleasuring himself everyday while watching porn is what he prefers???

[malibu]

I havent gone through this, but it doesnt sound too good. When your bf doesnt want to have sex with you its not a good sign. Guys wanna have sex and lots of it. Porn and pleasuring himself is not a substitute. Sex also brings you together. Are you sure he's being faithfull? Are u sure the relationship is working cos when sex goes downhill its a sign the relationship is too! Maybe you need to move on. Your only 23, ur not married to him, you shoudl be with someone who wants to have sex with you (he obviosly doesnt). Um my parents have been married for over 25years and I know for a fact that their sex life is good - that's how it should be! If ur determined to be with him u gotta fix this glitch, if its fixable. Good luck

[lunatic]

I once read a poll that said that 60% of men prefer masterbation to the real thing. Maybe by pleasuring himself everyday while watching porn is what he prefers???

 

WOW I dont know about any other man out there but, NO WAY WOULD I RATHER MASTERBATE THEN HAVE SEX!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!

 

 

From my limited experience with a similar situation. I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman and I love her lots. When it came to sex I was not able to willing to perform. Not because of porn but, because I was not sexually attracted to her. I loved the woman for everything else she was but, the sex there was something not right for me. I think he may not attracted to you anymore or he is sleeping with someone else.

 

Now I dont know you BF but I know men and there is no way I would ever EVER give up the real thing to manual release. Anyone who believes that is crazy because I dont know any man that would rather be by himself than experience the pleasure a woman can bring. Not even close to the same sensation.

 

Sex=WOOHOO

masterbation=since there are no available females around right now.

 

The only thing I can think of is this man is either MAJOR stressed out, cheating, or not attracted to you.

 

Sorry but, that is my obversation from my personal experiences. If your so concerned about this then there is a discussion that needs to happen. If your not satisified with that then it is time to move on from this one.

[Iceman26]

No sex = No relationship.

 

Stop wasting your time and leave him for a real man. Leave him to his porn.

[djedix]

I second that.

[Tigris]

I was married and had a problem like this. I didn't get sex for 2 years. The solution divorce!

 

It's time to find someone better who wants to make love to you.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Cynder]

I can realte a little. My husband only wants to have sex maybe once a week, (if that). He says it's because he was single for 7 years before we met and he got used to being eithout it. When he was on first shift I would get home about 1/2 hour after him. He told me one time that he rushes home so he can jack off before I come home. His excuse for that was that I'm just never there when he is in the mood. This caused a huge fight between us.

 

It's always the men who complain about how women don't want sex. Yet we women with healthy sexual appetites always seem to find guys with no sexual appetite.

[Tigris]

Tell me about it.

 

I'm having problems now. This is my second husband. He's complaining my sex drives too much because I'm going through the menopause.

 

It's not that long ago he was complaining he wasn't getting enough!

 

I wish he'd make his mind up!

[HellFrost666]

I once read a poll that said that 60% of men prefer masterbation to the real thing. Maybe by pleasuring himself everyday while watching porn is what he prefers???

 

WOW I dont know about any other man out there but, NO WAY WOULD I RATHER MASTERBATE THEN HAVE SEX!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Are these guys crazy? The real thing is so much better...

[Caldus]

I once read a poll that said that 60% of men prefer masterbation to the real thing. Maybe by pleasuring himself everyday while watching porn is what he prefers???

 

lol gonna agree with the others. The real thing is better.

 

Have you told him about this issue of yours? Like how the lack of sex is affecting the relationship itself?

[melrich]

I don't want to break up with him because we don't have sex but on the other hand I'm only 23 and I don't want to be in a sexless relationship for the rest of my life...

 

At 23 and in a healthy relationship you should be enjoying a healthy sex life. Yes guys sometimes like to masturbate for variety or becasue they jsut want a quick release but not as a complete substitute.

 

To be honest your relationship is way to young (2 years ) to be having this sort of problem.

 

Google up "the madonna complex" and see if any of that stuff fits the situation.

[MetallicAguy]

WOW I dont know about any other man out there but, NO WAY WOULD I RATHER MASTERBATE THEN HAVE SEX!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!

I haven't even had sex and I would most likely prefer the real thing instead of a right hand .

 

Since he prefers porn instead of you, I think he has a porn addiction. Do you think your physically attractive? In better words I mean, do you think he thinks your physically attractive?

[Gilgamesh]

Just because someone was without a woman for 7 years doesn't mean squat.

 

if his sex drive is low, it could be a medical condition, or an emotional one.

 

I know you like this guy for other reasons or you would have left a long time ago.

 

So have him get a physical, have him check his testosterone levels, if thats all OK, then you will need to delve into whats bugging him.

 

If he is not taking this serious then just head out the door, because its not going to get better on its own, and if he is not willing to take steps to correct this problem, then you should just leave you have tried your best.

 

Don't prolong the inevitable, the more you wait for a miracle the longer it will be before you can experience great sex from someone that cares for your feelings and experiences great pleasure in making you happy.

[Johanna81]

Since he prefers porn instead of you, I think he has a porn addiction. Do you think your physically attractive? In better words I mean, do you think he thinks your physically attractive?

 

 

Yea I do think i'm physically attractive... I have never had problems getting dates in the past and my past bf's always wanted to touch me... and if I went out to a bar tonight I could find a one night stand no problem... so I don't think my bf finds me unattractive also cause he always says how attractive I am. we do have a really good emotional connection and we cuddle a lot and all of that stuff it's just that he never wants to have sex... I've recently stopped touching him in any sexual way cause it's just frustrating

[BerryFairy]

I can relate. I am also 24 years old. I would like to think I'm a good looking female. But my boyfriend would rather masterbate then have sex with me...or so it seems...I mean we are intimate about 2 times a month if that. He will also rush home to masturbate before I get home from work. I have talked to him and it is constantly telling me that I am attractive and he is just tired and a few other things....at times I really think he has a problem of somesort.....I mean at times when we are together he can't finish and it usually doesn't take much for a guy so I am thinking there may be more to the story that I am not being told because he might be embarrassed but I'd rather known then keep feeling bad about myself. But it does hurt.

[vmaria]

BerryFairy; I'm almost identical. But I'm nineteen, and I like to think of myself as attractive. But my 25-year-old husband would much rather masturbate before even considering having sex with me. There would be nights where I would try as might to initiate romantic sex, even do my hair different, buy sexy lingerie, but he would say he was "tired." Yet when I wake up in the middle of the night to feed our 5-month-old, I would find him at the computer... We maybe have sex once a month now, and he's never really into it. He's admitted he has a problem, but it still does hurts, alot.

[Butterfly641]

Wow I can't believe how common this situation is. When I was going through it I thought something was wrong with me. I dated my guy for 3 years and we were never able to have sex. He even went to see a counselor about his problem.

 

I couldn't help but take it take it personally when he preferred some porn magazine over me. Now I have realized there was something seriously wrong with him and that he needs to take the initiative to want to have a good sex life.

 

Chances are if your man can masturbate, but doesn't want to or can't have sex than its a mental condition rather than a physical one (not testosterone levels).

 

Sex is an important part of a relationship. It is something that you deserve to enjoy and explore with your partner.

 

Talk to him...maybe counseling will help. Good Luck.

[lunatic]

I am sorry ladies but, I would NEVER turn down sex to go and take care of myself. I guess there are men out there that are in need of some serious mental help. The only thing I can say is that if he is not that into you then I can see him masterbating instead of making love. I dont know about anyone else but, God if I had the choice I would much rather have the intmacy than a pronagraphic video clip.

[eden604]

wow, I can relate.....i also thought I was just skrewed up.

Im 24, my bf and I have been together for over 3 years. Never had intercourse....oral , in the beginning...but it stopped. We do fight alot...I think that caused the sex problem, but now we are angry about sex. So its ended up being that, we've resolved the issues we initially fought about, and now we're angry about sex, so we fight about stupid things that are just a masked frustration for sex! viscious sex killing cycle >

 

lol. I wish I knew a solution for you, but I think every situations individual. I guess a sugestion(and its just a sugestion) is tell him you wont stay in this if he doesn't help you to work it out, and that you deserve a healthy sex life, because it can and will eventually tear up your self esteem.

Best of luck =)

-E