Don't want my daddy to die!

[Sugar-Rush]

I'm sad today, as some of you may know from previous posts my daddy has terminal cancer.

I'm not asking for any form of sympathy, i just feel really sad today, he's not doing to badly right now, still pottering round the garden, painting things and so one, but the past week or so he's looked really sad, he's picked a place to have his ashes burried right by our house, and has bought an eagle statue to go next to it.

He keeps going and looking at it, what must that be like to know thats where you're going to spend forever? I've always truly believed in God and heaven and know my daddy is a good man and surely will go there so why am i so scered? I just can't stop crying today. I know i'm being selfish i know i'm lucky to know that i have some time left with him and i should really appreciate that...but i just wish he could go back to normal. I'm praying ever day for him to get better or at least for him not to suffer, i just ......i don't know

 

Just need a hug

Sugar XxX

[arwen]

Hey sugar-rush,

 

I am so sorry to hear about the illness of your dad... it's terrible to know he's going to die, and to be uncertain all the time. I wish I could take it all away from you, but I can just send you a hug and hope you will feel better about things over time. Just spend as much time with your dad as you can, and let him know you love him.

 

Ilse.

[Cassyniner]

Oh Honey--I'm so sorry!!! A big (((hug))) for you...I lost my daddy to cancer when I was just 6 years old, it's been 35 years ago now, and I still miss him terribly. It is a very special relationship that a father and daughter share, you have every right to all the sympathy and support you can get right now. There is no advice I can give but what you already know...Spend as much time with him as you possibly can. Let him know how much you love him. Ask him any questions you may have, stories from his childhood, his dreams, etc. These things will be your treasured memories for the rest of your life. God bless you dear!

[Sugar-Rush]

Thank you so much for you kind words, they don't make the situation any better, but cheered me up loads so thank you.

I know a lot of people find this sort of thing to hard to talk about and i completely understand thank you both so much

Sugar xxx

[Tigris]

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.

 

We had 3 weeks notice in the year 2000 that my Mother was going to die of cancer. So I understand what you are going through.

 

I took turns staying at the hospital with her during the night! My sister could do this and have a quiet night. Everytime it was my turn she would cause me problems. Even one of the other patients couldn't believe the hassle I was getting. I was up and down 30 times in an hour. I was exhausted because I was ill myself. I was in a wheelchair most of the time due to my Fibromyalgia Syndrome.

 

I'm one of those people who deal with this kind of situation by putting a barrier around myself. I won't even touch the person or kiss them on the cheek. If I do then my protective wall falls down and I can't control my grief. That does not mean I don't care!

 

One day my Mother couldn't open her eyes due to the amount of morphine she was given. She reached for my hand and I couldn't refuse her. I sat on the bed and cried. I felt someone embrace me. I thought my husband had arrived. When I turned it was one of the nurses.

 

One night I sensed what was going to happen, so I told my Mother I loved her. A few minutes later she died!

 

I'm pleased I told her because if I hadn't I'd have regretted it for the rest of my life!

 

I know you are in for a difficult time. Sometimes you'll get to the hospital and all you'll want to do is run away. The only way me and my 2 sisters could deal with this was to stand outside together for moral support. We took a few deep breaths and put a brave smile on our faces to hide our feelings.

 

We all deal with grief differently. I have to hide mine because I have to take on the responsiblity of holding the family together and make the arrangements because my Father can't cope because he has suffered with strokes. My grief comes out later! Unfortunately, the sister closest in age to me, blames me for everything that happens whether it's my fault or not! My youngest sister just copes in her own way.

 

As long as you do everything humanly possible for your Father there is no need for you to feel guilty about anything. No 'If onlys!' and No 'What if's!'

 

If you ever need to talk then all you have to do is ask.

 

Take care of yourself.

[Jetta]

Sugar,

It's never easy to face the loss of someone. I know I spent years worrying about my dad dying. When it happened I felt like I spent all that time worrying for nothing because he's not really gone, he's just in a different form. Granted we had/have a special connection. I feel my dad is around, but my mom hasn't and doesn't. So perhaps I'm really blessed or just more open to it. I don't know. I just know that death isn't the end it's just a transformation. My dad said to me after his death that "We spend more time in the spiritual world than we do in the physical, so make the most of the time you have in the physical." Really they're okay wherever they are, and they're watching over us and sometimes trying to reach out to us (in any way they can).

 

Enjoy the time you have left with your dad. Make your peace with him now so he can move onto peace when he passes.

[acuraman]

I am so deeply sorry! I felt so sad reading your post about your father. You should cherish every second with him while he is on this earth. God has given you the extra time to spend with your father, not many people get this opportunity in life. Make every moment count with him, and tell him how you feel about him. I will pray for you and your father.....

[Starry Stars]

Please could you tell me your fathers age and your age.

 

Im not sure but we may be a great comfort for each other, I am 19 now but at the time to when I lost my father he was 44 and I was 16.

 

I am curious because we could be really good for one another.

 

My father died at a young age and I saw him suffer and get better and then suffer again until the worst happened.

 

Im not trying to make you feel sorry for me and I don't want to pity you and feel sorry for you, I just think we could help each other with greaving??

Let me know, I hope to hear from you, if not then be strong things will get better or so people say.

I personally believe that I will never get over the loss of such a great person but learn to cope with him not being there to physically see.

 

Take Care

Starry Star

[LonelyLovelessLost]

I know where you are coming from. I lost my mother/best friend about a month ago now. I have my OK days and my really tough days. Nights are the worst for me.

 

Know that nothing anyone can say will make those feelings go away. However, I personally know that chatting with people about it helps tremendously. So, if you want someone to talk to... feel free to IM me email removed or email removed. I'm almost ALWAYS online.. and know what you are going through!!!