You Sometimes.........

[Kaystar87]

I'm 16 right, well I dated this guy for 10 months, he's the same age and up until March everything was absolutely great, we did EVERYTHING together, I mean I'd do so much for him, I weeded his back yard while he mowed so it'd take less off of him, I made his family dinner, I made him cards all the time, i had our pictures made, i wrote him a Once Upon a Time story with us as the characters,I never even looked at othe guys, I told him how much i loved him everyday, I did EVERYTHING. So much time and alot of feeling invested into him, then towards the end, he started changing a lot. He was yelling at me and picking fights with me and showing a "I don't give a d*mn attitude" towards me and stuff i did for him, I couldn't take it anymore and broke it off, though i really didn't want to, he kept pushing me and pushing me, he even dared me to break it off. Well it was hard, cause i loved him so much, i couldn't get over him and I couldn't understand what I did wrong, the night I broke it off I was making him a football poster for season, I still gave it to him....after 2 weeks we were talking and becoming "More then friends" eventually he asked me back out, we dated for about 3 wks before he started taking out all his family's money problems and dad's problems out on me and screaming at me all the time, he was VERY unaffectionate, he wouldn't even hug me when he had me cry, he stopped giving me hello kisses when i'd drop by, he didn't do anything and that killed me. One night we got into it, and he dumped me, he called me the next morning and we decided that we weren't "broke up" just separated that i was giving him time to work his problems out....I went to his house the day before he left for vacation and all day i walked egg shells around him, he was so cold towards me and if i even looked like something was wrong, he'd snap at me angrily, everytime i tried to tell him how i felt he'd tell me i was being stupid, finally he goes on vacation and comes back and tells me he met a girl from Texas down there that he really liked, he kept going on and on and on about how they'd stay up till 4 am and blah blah and i told him to stop and he wouldn't, well that was yesterday and I just want some opinions, cause Im trying to move on.

[Kaystar87]

By the way, we live in Tennessee, she lives in TEXAS, that's going to be some expensive dates..........

[taken]

Dump his a$$ right now! dont take anymore of his crap! you shouldnt have to deal with a guy like that. he is being minipulative and he is playing mind games. dont stand for it another minute. no matter how much you love him he is still gonna be acting like that. im sure you can find someone else just as cute and better than him. just make sure that he is more affectionate than your other boyfriend.

he is gonna keep walking all over you. you dont need that. no one does. you seem like a very dedicated girl. go find a guy that will be just as dedicated to you. you deserve it.

 

i hope i helped. p.m me if you wanna chat about it.

[SwingFox]

Hello Kaystar,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand that you have tried everything to be into a relationship with this guy, but that you don't feel being treated right.

 

Without telling you right from wrong, I do see you being very unhappy. Your words shows so. My rule in life is: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy." This is vital for me.

 

Knowing this, I would suggest you to sit down. First alone to work out on your own thoughts. What do you expect in a relationship and what do you look for in a relationship? See how far this young man is compatible with your needs and expectations and word was has to be worked on. After that I advice you that you sit down with this guy and explain to him that you feel very unhappy at the moment. I suggest that you tell him that you understand he has a lot of problems. Explain to him that you feel being mistreated by his actions and that you don't like this. I would advice you that you tell him that you love him very much. After that it might be the right time to explain him that his problems do not justify his bad and mistreating behaviour towards you and that you are not going to accept this any longer from him. From there, I would explain him your needs and expectations. Try to vary sweet words with words of understanding while you do so.

 

I hope that this helps you on your way and I wish you good luck. I hope that things will work out the way you have them planned.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[FenderRocker17]

thats bull, i would kick any guys a$$ for takin out his anger on a girl expecially if it was his own problem and not yers..anyway, yeah i'd go with the first reply, DUMP HIS a$$! he isnt the right one for u, better off just friends, and if he got anotehr girl, get yerself another guy, or in the meantime have fun with your space and try to forget him. heh he might even crawl back and beg u to forgive him. hmm i dunno, i hope this helps, i wish the best for the two of you.

 

-Fendah

[SwingFox]

Hello Fender,

 

I understand how you feel towards the situation. However, the truth is that you don't know the entire situation. Giving up is a very easy way to start with. Relationships are hard work ... continiously. This guy does have some problems. I am not saying that this might or might not work out, but I do believe that thinking first, then talking (read: communicating) might help to get full insight. At least it gives this Kay a chance to make a sound decision and get closure immediately in case it doesn't look good.

 

One way or another: I would be careful with using the words: "That's bull". You could disagree with me, for sure ... but it's a little too easy to shoot someone for giving his or her opinion on a certain situation.

 

I hope that this clarifies a few things.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[swimchick03]

well, I must agree w/Fender-he is a no good piece of .... and if he treats you like this, he is very likely to raise a hand to you and you need to just back away from him and try to cut off all ties w/him