my dad kinda started it all

[t-rav]

im worried and so angry all at once. my family is i guess like the bundy family from married with children, (and not in a commical sense). my brother is having to skip this simmester of college because we dont have the money to send him. my dad always tries to beat him up about it (verbally). im not too excited about the college my brother is going to but i never try to oppress him or put him down. it just really angers me that my dad cant offer that helping hand and ask how my bro. is doing. im sick of the yelling. every time that a topic ever comes up in a family conversation (this hardly ever happens), my dad quickly turns the subject to how this other college is so great and how a&m isnt a good school because way back when, blah blah happened. i hate it. theres got to be a light at the end of the tunnel....... doesnt there. i hate coming home to my dad sitting on the couch watching tv, and my brother feeling confined to his room. every time i try to talk to my brother about it, he suddenly goes deffensive because he is so used to being beaten up verbally by everyone who doesnt like a&m. while i know that he should put up with it, he takes offense to everything. does anyone have any advice for me? i hate the silent rides in the car, the still dinners. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Nemo23]

This seems like an extremely hard situation because fathers can be very domineering. Even if they don't have a right to be... they think they're king of the house. If possible, speak up. Voice your opinion in a calm, collected matter. If your dad starts rambling try telling him firmly yet politely to listen (or to listen to what your brother has to say) Open up! even tho this can be the hardest thing a person will ever do, nothing will ever get done if you don't open up and express yourself. You have to be strong. If you get verbally shot down by your father, try again. Persistance is wicked (in a good way ) And try to remember to stay calm (and tell your brother to stay calm) Wacked out, defensive emotions only lead to chaos. If your father yells... and you let silence follow his words... he'll feel like a big jerk. Then start camly again. Start taking action. Don't lose a moment. Hope this helps a little bit!! Feel free to PM or message back if more help is needed.

[DN]

This seems like an extremely hard situation because fathers can be very domineering. .

 

As indeed can mothers.

 

This may be something that your brother has to work out on his own. Just be as supportive as you can and don't confront your father about it as you will probably make matters worse.

[t-rav]

can anybody say mixed signals?

 

 

and as a sidenote mom feels the exact same way that i do. we sometimes talk about it when she takes me home from school.

 

-travis

[DN]

can anybody say mixed signals?

 

 

and as a sidenote mom feels the exact same way that i do. we sometimes talk about it when she takes me home from school.

 

-travis

 

Then perhaps this is something that your mom should be talking to your father about. I am just concerned that if you talk to you father about this you may inadvertently make matters worse - I doubt that he would take it well.