the end of our break...

[stratguy620]

Well, I have mentioned bits of my story on other peoples posts, but I havent gottten around to getting out my whole story, so heres the whole thing.

 

My gf and I have been together for 2 years, and I am absolutely crazy about her. But about 2 weeks ago, she met a guy at a party. She came to me a few days later, in a complete mess and crying. she told me that she had feelings for this guy, and it scared her because she loved me so much and I meant everything to her. We talked for a long time, and we came to the conclusion that we needed to take a break for a while. Im her first real boyfriend, so I think its understandable that she would feel a little apprehension sooner or later. She wanted to spend some time with this guy and try to figure out what she wants, so we decided to not speak for a month. I know she needed space, and I dont want her to be with me if we arent right for each other, but obviosly, I feel like shi*, being putting in the reserves beind this guy. I dont know if Im really askng anything, just venting, but any kind of advice or support would be greatly appreciated...

[goddess23]

hey props to you for being SO UNDERSTANDING. i agree there seems to be call for a break. but i just need to say this for everyone on this forum....i mean it is my personal thing but i think its based on alot of knowledge. there is no such thing as a break! realize that a break is suppose to free both people from any commitment or timelines. its to figure out what they want. really in essense, isnt that a breakup?? because im sorry but thers no point to put a time limit on something like this. that defeats the purpose. i mean what is that "lest both fool around for 2 weeks and then get back together". if you agree okay we need a break, its a brekaup and hey if later you guys feel that you know its something special then great and if not you move on. but to put a timelimit or stay committed during a "break". comon does anyone see what im saying. listen stratguy i realize this is a very comitted relatinship and what not and maybe this break title vs. a break up title helps it feel a lil better but really isnt it better to just breka up and say okay if we feel we have something real we'll get back together, and you not have this hope that you guys ARE GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER. because really there is no guarentee. gosh im really sorry if im being a total downer (i realize you asked for support) but i just feel that its necessary to get this out there. she may be confused, thtas fine, its great that you understand that but really do you get what im saying? its better to just say lets breakup then and not have you waiting and feeling committed to her during this time and you both see what else is out there spend some "your own" time and see how you guys feel. because a break implies that you will get back together and i think that is false advertisement. i think its a way that both parties try to make it easier. see i think even you see theres something wrong with this. you said "and i dont want her to be with me if we arent rgiht for eachother but obviously i feel like shi*". and i commend you for being straight up with your feelings. dont feel that way though, peoplechange and things change and thers nothing wrong with you. and yes you dont want her to be with you if its not what she really wants right? honestly i think you should tell her that you understand she needs some time but maybe we shouldnt put a time limit here just call it a break up and if she feels differently fine. honestly i dont even think shes learning anything here because in her mind you're still "there" whenever she chagnes her mind. that doesnt make her learn whether you are really special to her or not. best of luck.

[goddess23]

sorry just wanted to add: in my situation when my bf came back from vacation and was confused honeslty if i left it up to him we might have stayed together during that time. i told him look dont sugar coat it if you dont know what you want then we should break up. it was HARD it HURTTT LIKE HELL but bottom line after i did that i was happier knowing i wasnt being played or living in a fake reality.

[stratguy620]

thank you for replying goddess,

 

i agree with you about the idea of "taking a break" being used as just a nice way of saying break up. weve tried taking breaks before because of other various reasons, so we felt we should attach some sort of time limit to this one. thanks again for you support

 

PS, you give very good advice for someone of your age...

[goddess23]

hey thanks for the compliment. im not your typical teenager (in most ways ). but yeah, if you guys have a personal way of dealing it then fine. but really i think its unfair to you. but hey you've got your reasons right and im not in your relationship so i wouldnt doubt htat you have valid reasons.

 

really during this time if your feeling down maybe you should see what its like to be with another girl (not sex or anything) just pretend your not in a relatinship...dont need to look but if someone interesting comes along go with the flow kind of thing and see how you feel. it will give you clarity on your feeligns as well. and i duno maybe you guys have agreed to stay committed...then i would say just get your mind off of it hang with friends and pretend again that your not in a relatinship. enjoy the POSITIVE aspects of being single (its tough to remember that there are ALOT OF THEM) lol.

[stratguy620]

anyone else?

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I know this can't be easy. But you guys are very young so it's hard to be bogged down in a serious relationship. She is "feeling her oats" right now is all. Some girls and guys too, have a hard time committing, no matter their age, for various reasons. This may be the case, you can certainly care about someone but just can't committ fully and completely. It doesn't make him or her a bad person, nor is it something you did either. You guys want different things right now. So, that saying, maybe you can go out and meet new people. I was discourage waiting for her to come around, chances are, she may not come back. She's not waiting around for you, so why should you. I would date others too. I know it stinks right now because you really care about her but don't waste time waiting for girls that are not sure what they want. Take care and best of luck to you.

[djedix]

Never wait for a girl.

 

Go be you, and let someone else enjoy who you are.

[7CardStud]

Jesus... a month? Personally, I wouldn't even let it get to a break... I would have cut it off... I mean she is basically giving herself an excuse to do god know's what with this other guy... Then when she finds out she doesn't like him and comes running back to you, and tells you what they did. She will be guilt free, cuz u guys were on a 'break.'

 

Another thing... Im sensing something my brother calls the "monkey technique." this technique is used by some women. It's where they go from branch to branch... She is seeing if the branch is leaning on is gonna break, and if she does she will come back to the branch that still remains... Thats you...

 

Just my 2 cents... I don't really have a point in my comment, but do i ever? haha Good Luck in your situation, and keep us updated bro.