My Friend

[i can think of one]

i find my friend really attractive he's a boy and i dont know if he's straight or gay but i cant stop thinking about him and i want to tell him how i feel but im afraid he'll react badly. what way shoul di approach him aboout his or how could i find out if he has feeling for other guys beyond friendship 2. its driving me mad.

 

hope some1 replies thx

[becca]

Sweetheart, these feelings are completely normal. Though you are confused I think that right now you should spend time figuring out how you feel inside. Maybe rethink telling him unless he has already confessed to you that he feels the same way about other males.

Though I know this isn't the answer you may be looking for- i suggest finding more males in your age group going through the same thing and talking with them.

I have supported many male friends that throughout highschool were confused about their sexuality or figured out what it was. In some cases I would look at the outcome first.

Is this boy someone that if he wasn't in you "same" boat- per say, going to take advatage of the knowledge that you are different from him? He may hurt you worse.

Please try and understand that in this situation you are left up to your own fate. Is he worth it?? I have found many guys attractive in my time and when I revealed to them I found them that way, it was for the worse.

Find out if it is attraction and lust or that you truly care about him.

Your best bet, go to some "gay" teen chat rooms, talk with other people in your same situation or have already gone through it. Also, in most cities there are special groups that are for people just like you, that are looking for advice and you may also find the "right" person to be attracted to, rather than just another pretty face.

You must also find someone to tell about your situation, maybe someone at these groups that help support you, whatever the outcome.

 

Good luck, sweetheart. I wish you the best.

[pianoguy]

Becca's absolutely right. It's also very possible that you are straight, it seems fairly common for straight guys to become infatuated with other guys at your age. I think patience is always a good idea- waiting to see what happens to your feelings before acting. Things will become clearer as you get older.

[pizzachick13]

Both Becca and painoguy are totally correct in this situation. You're only young... you have your whole life ahead of you. This boy, do you know if he likes boys? Or have you been friends with him for a while?

[i can think of one]

iv known him for 2 years now

[Decado]

(sorry about the long post. Hope you can take the time to read it)

 

hey. i am basically in the same situation as you except 3 years on. I have been in love with my best friend (a guy) for about 7 years (since i was 9) and i still am. I know it is the most excrutiating thing when you love someone without them oving you back. It Sucks!

 

I now know that he does not feel the same way but i have figured out ways to find out (well sort of). Ask yourself questions.

 

This has only worked for me coz he is a close friend, so it may not work for you. and the results are not clear either but they may give you some idea if he likes you or not.

(Be sure that you know that this is not a guide it is just some this that you can try out because i know how it is to feel helpless in a situation. It felt like i was gonna explode)

 

1) Does he tag along with you? I figured that if someone likes you they will want to tag along with you and be close to you. So if he is constantly hanging around with you or you are inseparable, continue reading.

 

2) Have you guys ever shared eye contact for long periods without speech? It is a very telling sign that if people shared eye cointact, they some sort of bond (even in str8 relationships)

 

3)Is there much physical contact such as hands brushing or hugs? If so, does he move away quickly or wait for you to?

 

4) Does he call often for no reason or are there times where he finds a weak reason just to call?

 

5) Does he ever act jealous of your other friends and shun them or act hostile?

 

6) Have you ever shown interest in a girl? If so, how did he react when you told him? (never tried this one)

 

7) Has he ever been in a relationship with a girl?

 

This is basically all i have. But be sure not to push the issue coz he may not be sure of his sexuality yet and may get scared if you approach him about it (a mistake i made)

 

I also know, that if he shows no interest at all, how hard it will be to let go. I am still having trouble letting go. Try not to make nothing seem like something, for example, an accidental brush of the hands or if he bumps into you accidentally.

 

If this gets too much for you, i am sure your skl has a councellor that you can talk to (dont be scared. they wont tell anybody) It is rely good just to talk to people.

 

At the moment, i wouldnt tell anyone of your age about how you feel(unless you know you can absolutely trust them) if i were you coz boys are often v.immature at that age and it can make things v.difficult at skl.

I know it royally sucks.

 

i hope this helps

 

PS: I agree with the previous posts a bit but i hope that this can help without giving you away. I do not think it is reasonable to ask you to wait coz it is v.frustrating to do nothing.