jennrichttu Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 I am completely miserable without my ex. we broke up over something that i dont really understand and he is now relishing being single and already changed his profile on his AIM name to say that he is single, blah blah blah. I can't eat, and I am constantly on the brink of tears. When I do talk to him he is short with me, but he told me he still loves me and wants to continue talking. I am so confused and I don't know what to do. He was more than just a boyfriend, he was my best friend. Help me please. Link to comment
I_Need_Help Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 it is important that u figure out why u broke up. maybe he just didint love u as much as he used to. it is confusing that he is relishing that he is single yet he says he still loves u. i think he just doesnt want to hurt your feeling too bad. go over to his house one day and reallly work things out. at his house, it is harder for him to be short with u if u say u want to really figure out whats going on. just talk to. Link to comment
cookies Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 whatever u do...just dont chase after him, or appear to be doing so. I dont know why some guys send out these silly mixed signals, like they have moved on, but keep saying they "love" us. That one STRONG word, always keeps us just where sum guys want us...and its not fair, because when a guy breaks up with a chik, ..we are the ones suffering and inable 2 move forward..., especially hoping that by them saying they love us..they will come back to us...sooner than later... I may be wrong, but it seems to me that its "some" guys way of having their cake and eating it too...and will try to start dating around, and have u too, conveniently, because he knows u love him still. unt unn...im selfish when it comes to my man, i dont want him out there sharing himself with NO other women...i want it ALL. U've got to just be strong in any event. If its over, take it for its face value and let it go. Find things to occupy ur time asides being preoccupied with ur pain from this past relationship with him. ONce you start doing that, you will feel a little bit better in dealing with the pain. I always do sumpthin special 4 myself, like a different hair style, or buy a real sexy outfit that i know will turn a many heads... u know? its not that you want to go out and hook up with sumone else afterwards, but you need to confirm in ur own mind that if you wanted to..u can...not all women or men think alike, but in ur case...dont let him drag u in that pain for too much longer...take ahold of urself and be as strong as u can. Men dont have to always know how much they hurt us...or that no other man will ever compare to him...at the moment... but DO let him see it roll of ur shoulders...turn the table on him, and watch him jump up off his butt,...i bet he'll come to his senses,...but by then, it may just be too late. It always is. Go out and have sum fun baby gurlie... cookies Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 When people break up, you've got to look at actions, not words. In this case his words, "i love you still"....but his actions, "i'm going to date other people"....believe the actions, not the words. Do what cookies said...it's the right advice!! I'd also try to not jump right into another relationship as some women feel a need to validate their "beauty" again by dating really fast after a break up. Do exactly what she said!!! It'll make it easier!!!! Also, enjoy your newfound freedom. No longer do you have to feel guilty about looking and flirting with other guys...go have some fun. Link to comment
tmills0011607306452 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 ...but keep saying they "love" us. That one STRONG word, always keeps us just where sum guys want us...and its not fair, because when a guy breaks up with a chik, ..we are the ones suffering and inable 2 move forward..., especially hoping that by them saying they love us..they will come back to us...sooner than later... Hey! I'm a guy and I still struggle with moving forward and it's been 4 months since I got the ax!! We're not all bad! Link to comment
cookies Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 and this i do understand...which is why is said "sum" guys in that situation... but in ur case, im thankful that there are men that do experience pain as we women do...well,..that are strong enough to admit it... i totally respect and admire that in a guy...showing his sensitive side...as they seem to be great lovers and make their women feel so secure and beautiful... cookies Link to comment
tmills0011607306452 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 ....i totally respect and admire that in a guy...showing his sensitive side...as they seem to be great lovers and make their women feel so secure and beautiful... cookies It's kind of funny that you say that! My problem is that I get involved with women who portray themselves with high self-esteem and/ or self-confidence but in reality do not. I end up building theirs up until they believe that they can (I hate to use this term) "fly on their own" because they think that they can do better. But I do try my hardest to make the best for the sake of the relationship. And in hindsight it still makes me feel very good to know that I am capable to do that. For jennrichttu I made the mistake of trying to feel validated by trying to go out and find someone. I did find someone who did not meet my standards in one bit. She was an attractive person, but definitely was not what I was looking for. I started to compromise myself, and in the end, I felt worse off than when I started. I kept the relationship strictly on a friend level, and tried my hardest to not hurt her by giving her incorrect impressions. I only sacrifised myself. In that case I was not strong. Now I chose to look into myself to better myself. I deejay quite more now and love music immensely; I kept in my mind that I do not need to replace my ex with someone else, but fill that hole with my passions. And you know what! My confidence in myself has tripled! Not only am I so much better at what I love to do, but also by being strong, it helped me rediscover who I was before the relationship. Yes I still have thoughts about my ex. But those thoughts are about the distant past of how I was not appreciated one bit for doing the sacrifices of myself that I gave to her; Now of which is a closed chapter in my life. Not only do I accept that, but also I embraced it. If no one can appreciate what you do for them or for who you are, THEN SOMEONE ELSE WILL!! I guess what I am trying to say is that by being strong, you eliminate that pain much faster. It's hard… I know… But before you find that special someone, (which you will!) You have to build yourself up again, and keep the lessons from your previous relationship to heart and use that as a standard! But keep an open, kind heart (Which I always seem to do…) Never settle for standards less than what you keep of yourself.. Period. I hope you do better soon -Tim Link to comment
dextro Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Yeah i must say like cookies, stop chasing him. If HE brokes up you need to take your time ya know. You have to rebuilt yourself someone... tears wont help for sure. Relax some days and chill around with friend at home, they will cheer you up. peace Link to comment
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