still havving trouble letting go after 3 months!!

[hoppy26]

i am still having trouble "moving on". its been almost 3 months since she told me "she needed a break". 1 month since we have talked.

she hurt me in a very decieving way. i never got any answers. she is with someone.....probably the reason she left. i dont see her or them but hear they are seen alot together. she lies to people about there relationship,

but yet she knows i know. why am i still not letting go? why do i sit here wondering what happened....why it happened? i cant get over the fact she just walked away after 3 years. she was my best friend aswell so this hurts even more. i went through the whole sad then mad thing and i thought i was moving on.....but it seems to be starting all over again.

can any one give me some advice?

[Babes]

Its been six for me and I am still trying to get over my Ex. So if I figure out any way to help I will let you know

[segagirl]

Seems I hear this alot... Usually what I say is do you really expect to heal in 3 months from something you invested in for 3 years? Take your time sweetie, You're whole life has changed, and you need to take the time...however long that is...and your body and head will tell you when its ready to move on. It does not help that you had no closure though! Try and realize her not telling you why was out of her own inablilty to commuincate, and usually guilt can be a part of that. She was thinking of herself, the only thing you can do now is tell yourself why she left does not really matter...its the sadness you feel without her that you should try to heal.

[solstice48]

I don't know if I'll be much help, but its been 5 months for me & I still feel the aftershocks of my wife leaving after 25 yrs. After doing a lot of reading & seeing what others have gone through it looks like there's not much that can be done. You just have to live through the pain, grief & everything else that comes with the situation we're both in. And sometimes you have to go one day at a time. I bet there's a lot of why questions going on in your mind & those answers your hoping to find may never appear. I know it hurts bad, real bad but there is really nothing you can do except let the time go by that it might ease your pain & let go of the thoughts of her. I Hope your hurt heals & you can move on to the life & relationship you deserve! Take care.

[mjones.uk]

Perhaps the trouble you're having is because you are trying to force yourself to move on. Who says there's a certain time frame in getting over the loss of a loved one? Don't listen to the nonsense about 'oh it takes a month for every year you were together' or whatever - we are all different people and we will all heal and deal in our own ways and our own time frames.

 

I think one of the reasons it can take so long is because we don't allow ourselves time to grieve, we keep trying to force away the pain, to tell ourselves we should be alright 'by now'.

 

Well, the more we do that to ourselves, the more we are just storing the grief up and causing the pain to linger.

 

Don't try to 'get over it' - allow yourself to feel the pain and the loss, accept what you've lost and that your life is changed - but also accept that life goes on and that each day it will get that little bit easier, even if you don't notice. The one day you will wake up with a smile and once again enjoy the sunlight streaming through your window, and life will start to take a happier meaning again...

 

Best wishes to you, remember, everything happens for a reason.

[dextro]

You will pass thru this... hang out with friends, date some girls you only have one life... Don't mess up with ya life for some girls dude. Give us some news about this in a few weeks. But you need to forget about her, just get over it its over thats it thats all.

 

peace

[hoppy26]

thanks all for responding. i understand time will help. i suppose my biggest problem i having to deal with is no-closure. i just never imagined in a million years this girl could be this type of person. i know i have to move on and except it.thanks